05/19/2014 04:12 pm ET Updated Jul 19, 2014

World, Google Just Betrayed Your Sexism

x-ray delta one via photopin cc

Dear World,

If you were Donald Sterling, I was a tape recorder and Google autofill was your mouth, then everyone would know that you continue to be sexist in a really disappointing, stereotype-affirming way.

Here is what I mean, put better:

This morning, my friend Googled our mutual friend. Our mutual friend is an extremely successful author and comedian. A household name. Like, I feel cooler and more amazing for knowing her and sometimes exaggerate the degree to which we are friends in order to boost my own street cred.

So, my friend Googled our mutual friend and autofill completed the most popular search terms associated with her name, as it always does, you know what I mea n-- like when you search for "How to clean..." and you end up with this drop-down menu:


Those Uggs do get dirty, don't they?

Anyway, on this particular drop-down menu associated with our friend's first and last name, the top two hits were:

1. husband
2. age

Way to keep the '50s alive, America. In my wildest dreams, if I am one day as successful as my friend, when I am being interviewed by some radio or TV host, I look forward to being asked my favorite brand of toaster.

Meanwhile, last week, comedian Sarah Millican got everyone's attention when she responded to being attacked for her appearance at an awards ceremony because according to the Internet, her dress looked ugly, and she looked ugly in it.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I thought I had been invited to such an illustrious event because I am good at my job."

Sorry, Sarah. Nope! You're a body.

But being a body doesn't answer all our questions. The next ones up are:

1. Does your body have a husband? and
2. What's your body's age?

Let's catch up to 2014, world. It's really a lot more interesting for women than you think.


Photo credit: x-ray delta one via photopin cc

Subscribe to the In(formation) email.
The reality of being a woman — by the numbers.