THE BLOG
12/21/2010 05:46 pm ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

Tough Sledding For Santa

It's been a tough year for a lot of people, including Santa. The BIG guy has seen a lot of changes at the North Pole. Elf layoffs top the list with the outsourcing of toy manufacturing going to China. The effect of that is that the GNP (Gifts from the North Pole) is running way behind the output from last year.

Mail was way down, too. No need for so many elves to open as many "Dear Santa" letters anymore; kids just text him now. He's trying to adjust to that.

Santa's reindeer fared no better with Rudolph and his iconic red nose replaced by a GPS system. And with the sleigh running off an electrical charge, Donner and Blitzen are looking for work too.

Mrs. Claus is economizing by repairing Santa's old suit from last Christmas instead of making him a new one. She told him he had to tighten his belt.

Once the sleigh is loaded and Mrs. Claus waves him off on his long nighttime journey, he'll face other bumps in the sky as well. As soon as he lands, he'll need his passport or some other form of identification before he even thinks of going down a chimney. The TSA (Temporary Santa Association) has been notified that he is on his way and they are ready to pat him down the minute his bulging body hits the living room floor. His sack will go through the x-ray machine set up especially for him at every stop. He'll still have to remove his belt, boots, hat, coat, gloves and suspenders.

Once cleared, the jolly ol' man can leave those much dreamed about toys and munch on sugar cookies made just for him. When his work is finally done, he'll take to the sky again (but not before going back through security), and wish a, "Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from your friends at Ciao Italia!

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