A Peaceful Revolution: When is a Good Time to Have a Baby?

Posted September 11, 2007 | 10:20 AM (EST)



stumbleupon :A Peaceful Revolution: When is a Good Time to Have a Baby?   digg: A Peaceful Revolution: When is a Good Time to Have a Baby?   reddit: A Peaceful Revolution: When is a Good Time to Have a Baby?   del.icio.us: A Peaceful Revolution: When is a Good Time to Have a Baby?

As Graduate Dean at Berkeley for seven years, this is the question I was most frequently asked by my women graduate students. For the first time in history these students are pursuing their degrees, Ph.Ds., MBAs, MDs and other professional degrees in numbers roughly equal to men; but they still feel uncertain in these male professions. As students they fear they will not be taken seriously if they have a baby, and as young professionals in their first jobs, they believe they must achieve a certain status and security before they even consider the idea. As a third year law student at Berkeley noted, "[All law students] know that daddy lawyers are partners, mommy lawyers are not."

Once my students graduate and enter the workforce they face a back-breaking decade during which employers test their mettle. All male dominated professions are front-loaded with extremely time demanding years early on. Medical students face grueling residencies, young lawyers work 60-hour weeks, and academics frantically race against the tenure clock

This first career-making decade, which I think of as the "Make or Break" years, roughly between the ages of 30 and 40, is also the decade in which women, if they have children, will do so. They often face agonizing choices. Women may look at the road ahead and realize that having children is incompatible with their chosen career path. With no compromise available to them, they give up the race before they've even started competing. Women drop out or opt out for less demanding work when they believe career and family are simply irreconcilable.

What these women often fail to realize is that there are few opportunities for re-entry once they leave the fast track. Although 93 percent of highly-qualified women want to return to work after taking time off, only 40 percent successfully return to full-time jobs. And on average, these women lost 18 percent of their earning power when they returned to work after taking a break. Many find that their careers falter or stall out. Lawyers become "special counsel" attorneys, journalists become freelance writers, and managers become permanent "consultants." Previously ambitious women discover that time out for parenting has resulted in a permanent time out for their career as well.

Men do not drop out. They have children and maintain their careers. They can do so because they often do not have wives with full-time careers. The evidence is stunning. In the university world in 1999, our research shows that 52 percent of male professors in the sciences and social sciences had wives who worked part-time or not at all, while only nine percent of women professors had partners who worked less than full-time. These findings dovetail closely with the largest study of global executives which revealed that 75 percent of men surveyed have a spouse/partner who is not employed at all.

It doesn't have to be this way. Women can, and should, flourish as mothers and as professionals. We are testing this principle at UC Berkeley where we have implemented a suite of family-friendly programs for both mothers and fathers. UC women faculty enjoy two semesters free from teaching when they have a baby, and fathers may take one; both mothers and fathers enjoy extra time before they are considered for tenure and may choose a part-time track for a number of years. We have also increased the number of infant and childcare slots. For graduate students, who are often in their thirties when they complete their long years of training, we offer subsidized childcare, family housing and paid maternity leave.

These programs help us maintain a competitive edge in attracting and retaining more of the best and brightest young women scholars, who might otherwise have given up on their career. They also encourage fathers to participate in the raising of their family.

We are not alone in this approach. The accounting firm, Deloitte and Touche, recognized in the early '90s that women were rapidly leaking out the partnership pipeline. They considered this a bad business result and put in place practices which encouraged women to stay with the firm. These incentives extended to their corporate law department, which is comprised of 40 percent women employees. While attorneys work hard, 40- to 50-hour weeks their schedules are flexible, and they do not always have to put in "face-time" at the office when working at home is a viable option. Moreover, partnership decisions are carefully monitored to assure that gender equality is maintained. The result? Attrition now is very low.

Deloitte and Touche has run the numbers. They have evidence that their policies make good business sense. A loyal, stable workforce is more productive than a revolving door. Other corporations, such as Citicorp, American Express, Ernst & Young, and Pfizer, have adopted more flexible work options for their workers and all have seen improvement in employee retention. Pfizer, in particular, has held on to its working mother employees by offering a three-day workweek option with the ability to return to full-time at any point.

With a different timetable at work, women may indeed "have it all."

Mary Ann Mason is a professor at the University of California, Berkeley and the author, with her daughter, Eve Mason Ekman, of Mothers on the Fast Track: How the New Generation Can Balance Both Family and Work.

Comments for this post are now closed

 
 

Comments
17
Pending Comments
0

Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to

View Comments:
- MamaPhD See Profile I'm a Fan of MamaPhD permalink

Despite some of the tangential comments you may receive here (!), I'm glad to see you writing in this forum about such a significant issue as how to make career/education/family possible for those who choose to combine them. Family-friendly policies benefit everybody, even those without children, by making the workplace a more flexible, humane culture.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:09 PM on 09/13/2007
- QueenCeleste See Profile I'm a Fan of QueenCeleste permalink

I can't help wondering what perks are offered to childfree workers (male and female) at UC Berkeley and the corporations mentioned. Are they too allowed flexible schedules? We can only hope.

I agree completely with wiseferret's post above. Pieces about the balancing acts of working mothers usually only address those in academia, law, busisness, film (!)--not the average working woman. I guess they're just not as important....

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:07 AM on 09/13/2007
- wiseferret See Profile I'm a Fan of wiseferret permalink

Yeah for lawyer, high paying jobs..
What about women lower down the ladder? The ones that by the time they've worked thier tail through school, into lower paying jobs (and no possibility of affording childcare), worked thier way into a financial stability find they are too old to have kids?
This advice only helps a small top end of women. Get real. Most women are forced to make a choice of job/no kids or welfare/no job/kids. Most companies aren't going to keep low tier people taking time away for family. Its a short term bottom line in cooperate america.
Try advising this for a college grad going into the workforce, not PhDs and MBAs. Try suggesting workforce flexibility to thier employers!
I know where that will go, because this is the reality I live in. Not ivory towers of acedemia.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:30 PM on 09/12/2007
- OldKnute See Profile I'm a Fan of OldKnute permalink

OH MY GOSH!

Ladies, Ladies, the premise is to offer advice to young women that are ALREADY choosing to educate themselves and WANT babies and a family.

What is this, The 1960s?

And who ever told us life was supposed to be easy or FAIR?

These girls are asking for advice, options and information, not horror stories!

Ummm?

Ok LOOK, my grandmother grew up in the late 1800s, She got a basic education, some prep school, but didn"t stop there. She became a nurse and traveled on a mule, helping women to die trying to give birth their 14th child. She went back to a women"s school and learned accounting, moved west and got a job keeping books for a logging camp and find a husband. Marring some studly lumberjack, they saved their money and moved and bought a farm and did well. She used to, Matter-of-factly, tell me of how she had 11 children. 6 that survived birth, 4 that lived to adulthood. One husband died, met another, he to quit the railroad and farm her farm.

There was not a minute of this woman"s day that was not occupied with something, taking in sewing, doing books for small businesses and neighbor"s taxes, running a re-upholstery shop out of the garage when they moved to the suburbs after selling the farm in the 50s. Sunday dinners were always ready on time; fruits and vegetables always caned each summer and fall, Christmas candy always from HER kitchen and passed out to all the grandkids. The Grandchildren, all boys, ME included, were taught to sew, cook, garden, iron clothes, do our math and homework, can food, darn socks, sketch, paint and draw, play piano, bake, drive a tractor, shoe a horse, do laundry, birth a cow, and start a fire with flint and steel, make soap all by this GODDESS of a woman.

I asked once, why she worked so hard? She paused, "I"m not working; I"m having fun. Aren"t you?" I said, "Yes Grandma, I love doing things with you."

All the best

Knute

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:56 AM on 09/12/2007
- Meah See Profile I'm a Fan of Meah permalink

If I were at the childbearing age, I would not have children. But young people usually do not have this type of perspective. Things are just too tenuous and unstable in the world. Global warming will bring a future that will be very hard to adapt to. The playing field is being leveled folks. Our materialism is going to be trashed, as the world changes economically. There will be 9 Billion people on this planet by 2050 the way things are going. My youngest son does not want to bring a child in the world. I have three grandchildren from my other two children. I am worried sick about their futures. Things have changed greatly in my lifetime, and I hope young people look at their world and think about what the future will bring their offspring. Seeing the world with rose colored glasses promotes denial. I don't wear such glasses. And believe it or not, I am a rather optimistic person. Our poor planet and its people are just in real trouble.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:03 AM on 09/12/2007
- ImmanuelGoldstein See Profile I'm a Fan of ImmanuelGoldstein permalink

Sorry to tell you people, but you really can't have it all. Want a career? Want to have kids? You are going to have to sacrifice something. And no, you are not going to be able to get all 'degreed' up for ten years when Hubby is still paying off the loans from HIS degree, unless he's a CEO type,certainly not if you are in what's left of the 'working class'.
And no, all those other people down at Obnoxico aren't going to stand around twiddling their thumbs waiting to advance THEIR career while you be a mommy. Those are just the facts. All the optimistic, self righteous slogans won't change this one bit.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:27 AM on 09/12/2007
- whirly See Profile I'm a Fan of whirly permalink

Immanuel,
I have to agree with you. These companies would have never implemented programs to help working mothers unless it directly affected their bottom line. I had great support from my company when I had my first child, but the fact was that even though I wanted to be a good employee, I wanted to be a better mother. That is the reason why I disagree with all these studies pounding into our heads how much money a woman loses when she chooses to stay home. She may lose a pay check, but she gains so much more satisfaction by raising her kids (at least I did). No one ever mentions the good things about choosing to stay at home. In my opinion, life is not about how much you make, it's about what you make of the situations you are dealt.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:19 PM on 09/12/2007
- splashy See Profile I'm a Fan of splashy permalink

I notice there is never the thought/assumption that the MEN might stay home with the children and homes.

Our society, especially the right winger side, claims to be so family friendly, but it's all about expecting women to sacrifice their intelligence, careers, lives and talents to childbearing and raising. That's in spite of the real possibility/probability that they will bring fresh new ideas into the marketplace just by virtue of not being men.

When I watched SiCKO, I noticed that in France they actually support the families with leave and help in the home, not to mention the fabulous health care they have and the college education that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. What is wrong with us that we can't do that?

It sounds in this article that at least a few folks that run things are understanding the waste of talent and intelligence that is happening when we expect women to do too much while still trying to bear and raise children. Things need to change, that's for sure.

Maybe those running things need to rethink the grueling early career mode. Many women really get into gear later in their lives, after raising children. Why should they be shut out then because of their age? With all the energy they had previously put into child raising freed up, they are often like balls of fire - full of pent-up ideas and raring to go!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:50 AM on 09/12/2007
- whirly See Profile I'm a Fan of whirly permalink

Splashy,
I know that the picture in Europe can seem like it is far better there than here, but I know a married couple from France. Both have professional degrees in high paying jobs and I was horrified by the way she described her life in her yearly e-mail to me. They have two kids. He leaves for work at 6:00 am and comes home around 10:00 pm. She leaves later, but has to rush to pick up child at 6:00 pm. The kids have spent most of their lives with nannies. She jokes that they are lucky to have six weeks vacation because that is when they get to spend time with the children. Wow! Six whole weeks a year to spend with your kids because you were given a nanny by the government. Does this sound right to you? Also, my friends have also told me that when you are a corporate professional the four day work week does not exist. So even though things may look rosier there, you have to dig a little deeper to find the way things really are.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:09 PM on 09/12/2007
- whirly See Profile I'm a Fan of whirly permalink

OK, I have done it all. Ph.D. at 28 in male-dominated field. Married a Ph.D Worked in Corporate America for five years. Had four kids. Now he works for money and I work to keep the family together. Yes, I gave up my nice paying job, but I feel like these posts just always seem to focus only the monetary aspect of the career. Truth is, I quit because I hated my job and my kids needed me. Yes, we could be making a lot more money than we do, but in quitting my job I really did find a better purpose for myself. I found that without me, the mental and physical health of my family suffers greatly. If I am working 40 or more hours a week, who is thinking about what my kids are eating? Who is shopping for healthy foods and planning healthy meals so that we can sit down as a family every night and talk about our day? Who is making sure the kids are doing well at school by maintaining communication with their teachers? Who makes sure her husband has ironed shirts so he can look the part at work and hopefully get a raise that helps the entire family? Yes, it's me and sometimes it sucks, but without me doing this we'd fall to pieces. So I am proud of what I have chosen. Will I ever make the same amount of money again. Probably not, but if my kids end up being functional adults who can turn to me and my husband when they need help, it will be well worth the money I could have made. Also, none of us can tell the future. Sandra Day O'Connor took five years off, then had to work for free before she eventually became the most influential Supreme Court Justice in America. When things get frustrating for me, I think of her.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:28 PM on 09/11/2007
- elcox See Profile I'm a Fan of elcox permalink

I've read the books. I know the message. Women who opt out never recoup their earnings power and therefore should think twice before dropping out. I believed that argument until my oldest of three turned six. But then I couldn't justify having my kids be a footnote to my career (even though I had made enough money to buy our family home outright). They deserve the best childhood I can provide. I should be able to take ten years out of the workforce and build a stellar career when I return. I'm bright, well-educated, and strong-willed. Madeleine Albright succeeded. Her work-life model is the one I want to choose.

Okay. Maybe corporate America has a prejudice against middle-aged women returning to the workforce. But maybe women in a position to hire should support other women. For how long do women have to try to fit ourselves into the male-dominated model that exists today?

The truth is that now that my kids are almost in high school, I can be a far more dedicated employee than I could be in my twenties or thirties. While corporate America figures this one out, I've started a business that empowers other women.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:13 PM on 09/11/2007
- FeelinGroovy See Profile I'm a Fan of FeelinGroovy permalink

Children are really overrated in my view. Use the money and time saved to travel, create art and really enjoy life.

Been there, done that and regretted it.

I'm almost 60 and the people I know that never had kids are a lot happier and have a LOT more retirement capital.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:56 PM on 09/11/2007
- samuelpablo See Profile I'm a Fan of samuelpablo permalink

Really? You "regret" having kids? Have you told them lately how they kept you from traveling and enjoying life?
Wow!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:29 PM on 09/12/2007
- Amy Vachon See Profile I'm a Fan of Amy Vachon permalink

Excellent synopsis of a widespread problem that is rarely given a solution in the media. You are right - it does not have to be this way. It will take governmental and/or corporate change to make it easy for families to choose differently, but a gender-equal, happy and financially viable marriage with kids is possible today. It is not without sacrifices or barriers, but the good news is it IS possible. My husband and I, and a growing number of other parents, are living proof.

-Amy (www.equallysharedparenting.com)

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:00 PM on 09/11/2007
- Wilbur See Profile I'm a Fan of Wilbur permalink

Given that the world is terribly overpopulated, the best time to have a baby is NEVER! We should be paying women NOT to have children, and we should be subsidizing vasectomies (I got mine 22 years ago) and tubal ligations.

"In wildness is the preservation of the world." - Henry David Thoreau

Wilbur

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:10 AM on 09/11/2007
- OldKnute See Profile I'm a Fan of OldKnute permalink

WILBUR????? Oh DUSTBUNNIES!

Sheese! The earth can easily support 30 Billion human beings!

Farfunugan!!!!!!!

Sheeese!




Babies?

Oh! That is easy.

Look, we know that empirical data, life experience, emotional stability, centeredness crosses the DNA.

BUT,,,, There is increasing difficulties in births concurring at 34 to 38 years, slowly progressing. Also, 32 to 44 are the peak career ages, promotions, advancement, work experiences, developing friendships, networks and alliances that will last a lifetime.

Soooo????

My Guess!

Suck up as much knowledge as you can at an early age, piano or music, art, education, reading, travel, career preparedness, life experiences, socializing, human experience, spirituality,,,,, etc.

22 and 25 seek that special someone that would make your,,, TRUE,, life partner. Build the relationship and set your foundations DEEP!

So, probably, around 28 to 34.

To avoid the women"s dreaded "Work Experience Lag" of child rearing years, attend school. Work on higher degrees, post grad or a Ph.D.

In this way, you can demonstrate a near a continuous track on your resume` with some solid work and career experience in your middle 20s.

Even if you plan to be a more traditional wife, I would still suggest maintaining a foot in the door of the academic world. See the kids off to school and then you hit the road to your classes. College schedules are very flexible these days, and you can easily lump courses,, Say,,, Mon. Wed, Fri,,, OR Tue. Thurs. mornings.

Having 2 or 3 children,,,, AND,,,, a Ph.D by 32 or 34 is NOT a difficult thing when taken one step at a time. You are still with the kids when they get home and a future employer should be very proud of your history, diligence and dedication.

AND,,, because you postponed childbearing a little, the DNA transfer will offer the greatest potential for feminine experience, sensibilities and perceptions to also be passed to your children, to a higher level.

Umm? OR, a more well rounded DNA potential-ed offspring.

Well, that is just my take on things.

Just some thoughts.

All the best

Knute



    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:51 PM on 09/11/2007
- alkamm See Profile I'm a Fan of alkamm permalink

The best time to have a baby may not make good business sense, but in the long run the baby is what's important. The fact that the corporate world and academia is trying to make accomodations for childbirth because it makes good business sense and helps their retention of faculty is a sad commentary on the inhuman quality of our lives.

The present lust for heterogenity in college and university hiring practices dictates family disruptions roughly parallel to those the slave-holders imposed on their slaves. Families are routinely forced to choose jobs in separate cities.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:56 AM on 09/11/2007
Comments are closed for this entry

You must be logged in to reply to this comment. Log in


 
 
Bloggers Index›
Read All Posts by
Mary Ann Mason›