Texas Time

We've been waiting for y'all.

Like the great big kid in the back of the classroom who has gotten used to being overlooked, Texas has not had a chance to make a difference in the presidential primaries for decades. This year, suddenly, we're hot stuff. Our primary on March 4th is going to mean something -- maybe everything -- in the Democratic race.

And in a campaign where voters are already defying some of the old demographic breakdowns, Texas promises to give the pundits and campaign planners a run for their money, beginning with the most basic characterizations.

Texas is not the South. It is not the West. It is not the Southwest.

Texas is all those things, a heady blend of magnolia blossoms and masa harina; a place big enough and complicated enough to treasure both the Alamo and the dreams of millions whose lives began in Mexico. It has memorials to Civil War heroes and civil rights legends, border towns without running water and the latest thing from Barney's.

Texas is home to both big oil and big hair; sometimes to big, oily hair.

It is a warm, fun-loving, forgiving state, the kind of place where the vice-president can shoot someone in the face and the victim apologizes.

Clearly, it isn't easy to embarrass Texas. But it appears George W. Bush has finally done it. In a stark change from the public's attitude here a few years ago, now there are bumper stickers on family cars in grocery store parking lots that proclaim "Bush wasn't born here" and "George W. Bush is a failure."

The rest of the country may figuratively turn disgraced politicians into piñatas, but in Texas, the transformation is literal. In fact, a party store in Austin will custom-make a George W. Bush piñata for you for only 23 dollars. Don't ask how I know this.

For Republican candidates in Texas, the president's precipitous fall from favor has made a particularly big splat. In 2006, voters in Dallas rejected every contested Republican officeholder on the ballot.

And if the GOP primary turnout on March 4th is low, it will be due to a combination of this Bush fatigue and the fact that the race is, as usual for Texans, already decided. It won't be because Rush Limbaugh doesn't like the leading candidate or because Romney decided to take his wallet and go home. It's that this year is not much fun for former Bush voters. Many Texas Republicans are no longer enjoying the party.

For those who hang around and actually vote in the primary, Huckabee will be attractive. He is witty and engaging, relatively gentle on immigration and religious as hell. I don't want to be accused of hitting below the Bible Belt on this, but the creation of the earth is still a source of argument among some Texans. The ground here may have given up some of the world's best specimens of dinosaur fossils, but state school officials are still under siege by parents who believe that the earth is only a few thousand years old and that carbon dating means taking a girlfriend to the Texas A and M bonfire.

McCain will probably do better in Texas than in other conservative parts of the country. The very elements of McCain's candidacy and personality that have conservatives and the religious right so righteously peeved at him will actually play well for him here. Most Texans, including the Republican governor, don't want a wall separating us from Mexico. And any hothead who uses the "F" word not only won't be rejected, he is gonna fit right in.

While the state's favorite (step)son Ron Paul probably won't be much of a factor in the primary, many Texans feel a perverse pride in his success. Paul is a natural outgrowth of Texas's deep libertarian streak, the only person in the Republican party with the guts to stand on stage in every debate and in a nasal twang commit a kind of blasphemy by constantly and eloquently criticizing the war and the president who put us there.

The Democratic race is going to be more complicated and more unpredictable because both candidates have huge built-in constituencies, good organizations and giddy support. Texas Democrats are almost hysterical at the heart-pounding possibility that the rest of the country will at long last pay attention to what they think. In addition to all that, no one knows how the hell the delegate count is actually going to work.

In typical Texas contrarian fashion, the primary rules read like a DNA chart. On the Democratic side, 228 delegates are up for grabs. But it's not that simple.

The state has both a primary and a caucus -- on the same day. And you can't caucus unless you voted in the primary. On primary night, 126 delegates will be determined based on voting results in each Senate district.

The number of delegates in each district is based on how many Democrats voted in the last two general elections in that district. Got that? Well, there's more.

The selection of another 67 delegates will begin at the caucuses that night and culminate at the state convention in June. The remaining 35 delegates are some kind of unique political life form that will evolve into actual delegates at the National Convention later that summer.

With rules like this, we may not know the division of Texas delegates until sometime after the new President is sworn in. Now that the state finally has its moment in the spotlight, it appears we will slowly drag our rear ends across the stage and reveal our delegate counts only when we are good and ready.

But as Democratic campaign workers and organizers flood the state in the next few weeks, they will find a pool of voters ready to rumble. Texans are ready for their close-up.

The candidates are already familiar faces. Barack Obama has been here raising money and making friends since long before he announced his candidacy. Hillary Clinton actually lived in Austin in 1972 while working for George McGovern. She knows the state and has racked up an impressive series of endorsements.

Hillary seems to be ahead in early polling. Texans, despite the state's conservative reputation, have never had any discomfort with women taking the reins. Texas women have been changing the world for a long time.

That creates a special challenge for Hillary Clinton.

Down here, she will have to live with the ghosts of Barbara Jordan, Ann Richards, Molly Ivins and Lady Bird Johnson. She will have to prove to voters that she has more in common with these iconic Texas political figures than with Ma Ferguson, the state's first female governor. Ferguson took over in 1925, several years after her husband was run out of office.

Actually, Hillary Clinton is nothing like Ma Ferguson. They have nothing but body parts in common. Still, by making that comparison, I get the chance to use a hilarious quote attributed to Ferguson during a debate on the use of Spanish in Texas public schools. She exhorted the state to require English, saying, "If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, then it is good enough for the children of Texas."

Which brings up another point. Texans expect candidates to be entertaining. They can be funny like Ann Richards, a charming rogue like Charlie Wilson, or personable like George W. Bush used to be.

Obama has that -- and something more. For Texans old enough to remember, he recalls Barbara Jordan -- not because of race, but because of the power of the spoken word. Decades ago in her campaigns for Congress, in small towns and large cities, in front of crowds who gathered at courthouses and on street corners, she became a political legend by reminding people of why they loved their country. She led old men in sweat-stained cowboy hats to weep openly at the beauty of the Constitution, the power of the American people, the depth of our belief in our own inherent decency.

Texans are still like that. They still like good speeches. They still like to cry in public. And they will always love politics.

To win in Texas, Democrat or Republican, there is really only one rule. Don't be dull. We certainly won't.

Comments

[Somedaysoon]

I recently started to put my money where my mouth is. I've begun funding the democratic party. So hopefully we can acquire a majority in Texas again. I have not given to any candidate yet. But I want Hillary to be the next president. I want someone with the ability, the intelligence, and the strong work ethic to get the job done. I don't want a prez that goes to bed at 8:30 pm like Bush. I want her burning the midnight oil solving problems. And I bet she will.

[clevelandtocali]

I was born and raised in Ohio, lived for 10 years from Maine to Florida on the East Coast, 5.5 years in Los Angeles, and 8 years in Texas. The only state I ever missed and have now returned to is Texas. To those who shit on our state for giving the world GW Bush, I would ask if you feel the same about Conn. where he is actually from? You want to shit on us for Tom DeLay, do you want to nuke Idaho or Wyoming or wherever the fuck Cheney was hatched from? Regardless, your ignorance and arrogance about who we are speaks volumes as to your understanding of your fellow citizens.

No matter, I'm gonna be busy as hell working for an Obama win in Texas, and I believe that should he win the nomination he has a fair chance to win the state in the general. Many forget that until Bill Clinton lost the southern Democrats in '94, you couldn't find a republican in Texas.

I'm not entirely proud of our political legacy, but noone's perfect.

[tbone99]

Actually Cheney had been residing in Texas prior to the election- ,just declared himself a Wyomingon (?) since the VP and Pez can't be from the same state.Yes he was born there but left as soon as he could.

[kevinmcd]

I always thought that W. Bush was more a product of Texas and it was there that he learned "cowboy diplomacy." Compare him to his father, whose policies seem to reflect more of a Conn./Northeastern view of the world.

[Democrab]

I moved to Texas from Maine five years ago.

I'll be voting for Hillary in the primary on March 4th and will continue to donate to her wonderful campaign.

But I do love this most lively debate in Huffington; I haven't had this much fun since the old CNN chatrooms.

My favorites are the ones that get to swearin' and a misspellin', typos and be damned. Just get your point across and bash the hell out of the "enemy." Hate and acidic attacks, fear mongering and "if your candidate gets the nomination, they can't beat McCain, blah, blah."

Religion and politics really do separate us from the beasts.

Just remember this self created philosophy:

"If in my life I find even one human being that I'm better than, my life is a miserable failure.".....Democrab

[Imhotep]

Why would you vote for a warmonger? Peace

[tbone99]

In reality there is no anti -war candidate willing to GET US OUT NOW, if not sooner

[tencentdress]

I would simply LOVE a GWB piñata for our January 8 blow out bash. What a great idea!

"If English was good enough for Jesus Christ..."

I nearly split a gut on that one.

[sonofloud]

Texas is nothing but a bunch of bigoted, prejudiced, homophobic, sexist morons.
If the fate of the nation rests on them, god help us all!

[bkztx]

You obviously don't understand Texas at all. First, you must realize that Texas is like a country unto itself. There are so many regions that it is impossible to make blanket statements about the state.

[bobdob]

I was speaking to a Texan friend of mine yesterday and I asked, "Are you excited about the primary?" He said, "Nah. I'm a Texan. We don't give a shit about anything unless it's about Texas."

[tgood]

How long did it take you to create that lie ?

[partyofone]

Mary Mapes says "Like the great big kid in the back of the classroom who has gotten used to being overlooked, Texas has not had a chance to make a difference in the presidential primaries for decades. "

Give me a break. Texas launched the political career of George W. Bush. The states and its citizens should be suspended from participation in national elections for malpractice in politics. I also nominate the states and citizens of Florida and Ohio for suspension.

[Rockwell]

I'd really like to embrace the "fun loving" vision of Texas that you have. I really would. But do Texans have any clue how they are perceived by the rest of the country?

Texas has been the abscess on the national ass for decades. Pumping out infections into the American blood stream like Tom Delay and Baby Bush.

Then there's the loud arrogant bible thumping fundamentalist who've destroyed the Southern Baptist and other protestant conventions, turning them into RNC political machines rather than ministries for Christ.

And let's not forget the blood sucking oil barons, bleeding the country white.

And even the man in the street seems to have an unfathomable superiority complex about being from Texas, when in my many trips down there I've only seen post-apocalyptic wastelands and wilderness a coyote couldn't scratch a living from.

If I had a dollar for every "don't mess with Texas" bumper sticker I've seen in St. Louis, I'd be retired. What the hell does that mean? Do Texans really believe the rest of the country is jealously slathering after the wonders of the lone star state? That we are poised to invade and steal the good life from you?

My home state of Missouri produced John Ashcroft and for that we are deeply ashamed and contrite. We started to make ammends when we voted Ashcroft out of the Senate in favor of the corpse of our former Governor. We've sent Claire McCaskill to the senate and we've given Obama a primary victory. So we are trying to set things right.

From Texas I'd like to see about 10 years humility and contrition and a steady flow of progressive politicians before we can start talking about what a great place it is.

Far as I can tell the nation has paid a heavy price for the privilege of having Texas clinging to our underbelly. Maybe we should have let Santa Anna keep it.

[vinny]

>>If I had a dollar for every "don't mess with Texas" bumper sticker I've seen in St. Louis, I'd be retired. What the hell does that mean?>>

It's a slogan for the states' don't litter campaign.

[specultr]

We're also known world-wide for our juries. We'll send jaywalkers to death row.

[TxWonderWoman]

It was written by Roy Spence. A long time DEMOCRATIC advertising and strategist. He is currently working on the Clinton campaign. His first political campaign was for George McGovern in 72. So maybe we shouldn't use such a broad brush when painting Texas. Texas Democrats are tough as nails, true blue liberals... Remember LBJ? He was a liberal. We are just vastly outnumbered these days. That only makes us tougher. You should visit Austin sometime. And just a few weeks ago, Dallas came ever so close to being the largest American city to elect an openly gay Mayor. He made it to the run off and lost by only a little. Have a little faith in us, and a little patience.. we are working on it.

[rwilliams1961]

I gotta respond to this. While I was born in Texas and returned when I was 21, I was raised in Michigan and appreciate the fact that I got a good Texas upbringing while experiencing something north of the Red River.

And while I know we Texans can be a bit proud and hard to "get", this rant about how we should be uniquely contrite needs to go, because it isn't deserved.

Yes, Reagan left more than a few Texans googli-eyed (not a reference to a search engine) and that led to the unforgivable expulsion of Ann Richards for that Yankee moron that now lives in the White House. But may I remind you, Rockwell, that Texas alone did not vote that idiot into office? In 2000, your dear Missouri also voted for Bush; they did the same in 04.

And say what you will about the SBC (they deserve it), but they are but one drop of holy water within a lake of conservative Evangelicals nationwide. If memory serves me, the snake-handling AG HQ resides in your state.

This nation screwed itself over. Your state, as well as Texas, was responsible. We all need to repent. To that end, vote Obama.

[Querent]

"Texas alone did not vote that idiot into office? In 2000, your dear Missouri also voted for Bush; they did the same in 04."

Right, but y'all Texans gave him to us. Without your having made him your governor, he never would have gotten that far. I agree that a special level of contrition is in order. Only for those morons who voted for him once or more, though. It's not about collective guilt.

[Digdin]

I am so in love with your post. You articulated my feeling exactly. Thank you so much.......

[Querent]

Wow, Rockwell. (wild applause!)

[sparkandy]

As an Okie, I have special Texas bashing privileges, particularly during the Texas/OU game. But Okies get the privilege of bashing Texas, because deep down we're the same people. Like little brother and big brother. Therefore, when someone attacks our big brother in the way you did, we rush to the defense. Your attack is way off base. I'm not going to make a list of Texans who made the world a better place, because you either know who they are and choose to igonre them, or you don't know who they are and you're too ignorant to learn.

[jenevieve]

Mary Mapes, this is the best writin' I've ever seen on the Huffington Post.

[westview]

How nice, another wonderful and funny writer from Texas. Welcome Mary.

[GrannieAnnie]

I've been looking for another funny writer from Texas. Looks like Mary is the one. I so miss Molly Ivins. She was a hoot and I must say I was jealous because my husband was absolutely in love with her before he married me. But after reading her books I came to understand why. Rest in peace Molly. And keep the writings coming Mary.

[tcpgh]

Wonderful blog! It's also so refreshing to find a blogger who can write so well.

[catilinus]

The shocker coming out of the primary will be the new slogan..."Yes, we can. We be Texicans." Obama '08...Colonel Jeb Stuart Bush or Chelsea Clinton never.

[vinny]

got me at dinosaur fossils... great blog...

[realitytrumpsbull]

Texas has Ron Paul, someone that can speak halfway coherently and connect with the concepts involved in the Constitution and communicate that to the listening audience.
I wish we had more Pauls, and less McCains.

[wolfgangmo]

And which of Pauls ideals do you love? The idea of taking the leash off of corporate responsibility? How about getting rid of the social safety net? Repealing Roe V. Wade? Abolishing the EPA?

Gotta agree with you on the McInsane thing.

I hope Huckleberry gets the GOP nomination. It'll be amusing to watch.

[desthmoneses]

any state that willingly has a man as dumb as George Bush governor willingly for six years shouldn't be allowed to decide anything.

[rwilliams1961]

He's been governing over the United States for seven years. Where do you live, Sweetheart?

[sparkandy]

Maybe people who can't count shouldn't be allowed to vote.

[GrannieAnnie]

Correct me if I'm wrong but I was under the impression that the Govenor of Texas did not have the same kind of power that say Elliot Spitzer in NY has. That it's the "Leg" that actually has that power. GWB got elected on the assumption that he had run Texas as govenor. If I am under the wrong impression would someone from Texas please let me know.

[PortiaElizabeth]

You're right. The constitution in 1874 made that an important aspect. Because of a Carpetbagger (or was he a Scalawag?), governor after the Civil War, Texans never wanted a governor to have so much power again.

[AnyonebutHRC]

Good Lord! I swear it's the Ghost of Molly Ivins come to save us in our time of need! It's so refreshing to see the usual knee-jerk, clueless and stereotypical responses to a well thought out and accurate depiction of Texans and Texas Politics.
The only thing left out of this fantastic article was the sad truth that the DNC long ago gave up on Texas Democrats and have laid very few "in roads" in the State. Much like many posters to this article, they also believe that we are thick-necked, unwashed, illiterate, Bush loving, Tom DeLay supporting, NRA member idiots with oil wells in every back yard. After this election, they'll go back to writing us off, so really why do we even bother caring?
The other thing that could have been added is that *every* person I know in several cities will vote Republican before they vote for Hillary....which translates to not at all.
"Hillary....I knew Barbara Jordan and you're no Barbara Jordan." Great article!

[ckemp]

I laughed through the first 3/4ths of this post and cried through the last quarter. In other words, I was fine until we got to Barbara Jordan. I rarely admit this, but since Texans may be willing to acknowledge that the current president is really from Connecticut (which seems to have recovered), I'll say it: born and raised there myself, circa 1964. Old enough to remember Barbara Jordan? You bet, though it just hit me like a mack truck, as we used to say.

[kevinmcd]

George H is Conn; W is pure cowboy! He was raised in Texas. The formative years are what counts, not the place of birth. He did attend high school in Mass., and college in Conn. But he returned to Texas where he obviously felt at home because that was home during those formative years.

[Epijim]

Behave down there! Molly is watching!