I am unwilling to accept the new list style of blogging that seems to be trending now. Here's why.
1. Can we no longer read a story? Really? Most blog sites want you to limit your word count to 700-800 words. How hard can it be to follow along?
2. Lists are dismissive. They dismiss everything we learned about writing in Catholic grade school. The only time you included a list in a story were:
- a. Table of Contents
3. Other lists for Catholic elementary school included:
- a. A list of all the heinous sins you had committed at age 6 to confess to Monseigneur Neverenoughpenanceforasinfulchild at Confession every Friday
4. Lists are not writing for God's sake. Is there a Pulitzer for lists?
Someone suggested I take all my published blog posts, rewrite them as lists, and submit them as new and unpublished content since many sites want fresh, original work. How can that be writing? That is cheating revising.
5. Lists are for:
- a. Groceries
6. Lists are insulting to real readers. Sure, some lazy readers want to save time tackling a list, but how is that time saved you ask? Cheating skimming. They don't want to read the actual words we toil over. They want to skim through with the blink of an eye and feel as though they actually read something.
7. Many people still like to read enough to have something to ponder, digest and perhaps even offer some commentary once finished. What commentary is there for a list?
- a. "Number 6 is a lie!"
8. Lists are annoying. They are not fun nor are they challenging to write so I am officially done with them.
9. In closing my No More Lists List, I would just like to say:
- a. Thank you
HuffPost Entertainment is your one-stop shop for celebrity news, hilarious late-night bits, industry and awards coverage and more — sent right to your inbox six days a week. Learn more