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Mary Darling Montero, LCSW

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Newly-Single Mom? Make the Most of Mother's Day

Posted: 05/04/11 10:01 PM ET

If you're a newly-single mom, chances are you've been dealing with some tough emotions. The end of a relationship is hard enough; throw in worrying about how your kids are coping and wondering how you'll co-parent with your ex, and you're in stress-overload mode. With Mother's Day coming up, why not take advantage of this day dedicated to you, and spend some time focusing on and appreciating what motherhood means to you. It's a perfect opportunity to set aside your broken heart and honor the strength it requires to be a mom.

As Mother's Day approaches, take some time to read the following quotes about motherhood, and write down your personal reactions. Whatever you end up doing to celebrate the day (spending time with family or friends, taking your kids to a park for a picnic), keep in mind everything you've accomplished, survived, and done well as a mom.

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." - Rajneesh

How have you changed since becoming a mom? What personal strengths have you discovered that you never knew you had? What are some of the unique experiences you've had since becoming a mom that you treasure? What are some of the things you've accomplished as a mom that you feel proud of?

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." - Abraham Lincoln

If you're not religious, substitute 'hopes' for 'prayers'. What are the hopes that you have for your kids? In what ways do you communicate these hopes to them? What are the things you do, or want to do, to be a role model for them?

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one." - Jill Churchill

If you've ever beaten yourself up for not being a 'perfect mother', forget it; perfect mothers don't exist! In what ways are you a good mom? What are some goals you have for being a good mom? What are some ways for you to get support as a mom dealing with a breakup (online communities, single-mother support groups)?

Lastly, but most importantly, pat yourself on the back for doing the hardest job in the world. Happy Mother's Day!

Mary Darling Montero, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice in Santa Monica, CA. She specializes in relationships, life transitions, trauma, depression and anxiety, and is certified to practice EMDR for trauma resolution. She is a contributing therapy expert for BounceBack.com.

BounceBack.com helps people find happiness after heartbreak from a relationship breakup or divorce. It's a place to tell your story, find community support and get advice from experts. Heartbreaks happen to everyone. And everyone has the potential to bounce back and move forward to a life full of strength, confidence, and happiness. www.bounceback.com

 

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