THE BLOG
10/23/2013 04:24 pm ET Updated Dec 23, 2013

Doing vs. Being

In last week's post, I talked about balancing the masculine and feminine aspects of ourselves. As I've explored this concept this past week, I've realized that much of it has to do with Do-ing vs. Be-ing.

Society praises those who do: It's more about what you accomplish than who you are as a person. But just as there must be a balance of receiving and giving, there must be a balance of do-ing and be-ing. Danielle LaPorte says that when she makes her New Year's Resolutions, it's all about how she wants to feel that year. And that's what I mean by balancing do-ing and be-ing.

Instead of looking at your day as an endless to do list, what if you started each day with a question: "At the end of the day, how do I want to feel?" After you ponder that one, you can ask yourself, "What will make me feel that way?"

I'm not saying that we should all give up do-ing in favor of be-ing; rather, I'm saying we should let our be-ing inform our do-ing. So if I want to feel relaxed at the end of the day, trying to cram five more things on my endless to do list that day is probably not going to help me accomplish that goal. Neither would multitasking all day in an effort to get more done.

So I challenge you to try this: Each morning when you wake up ask yourself how you want to feel at the end of that day. Sit with it and let whatever the feeling is float up to the surface. Then ask yourself what one thing will help you feel that way. Go do that one thing; make that your priority. Then after you've done whatever it is, ask yourself the question again. "How do I want to feel at the end of the day?" You may or may not find the same answer rises to the surface. Then decide what would help you feel that way and do that. Keep do-ing that way of be-ing for a whole day and see what happens.

Maybe you get nothing "done" -- maybe you get more "done" than you usually would in a day. I have no idea. I plan to try it as well and see what happens. Because right now, it's close to the end of my day and I'm exhausted. And I just wonder if I had felt my way through my day instead of focusing on what had to get done if I would be this tired. Perhaps I would. Only time will tell. But I do know one thing: If I don't try this little experiment, I'll never know whether it works or not. And I really don't want to feel this way at the end of my day tomorrow.

Try it along with me. Let me know in the comments how your day goes when you feel your way through it instead of do your way through it. Oh, and throw out your to do list for this one day. Asking yourself how you feel while looking at your endless to do list kind of defeats the purpose.

Here's to be-ingness -- or feel-ingness -- whatever works for you!

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