After Monday night's episode of America's Got Talent was preempted by the Stanley Cup Finals, a preemption that I would have embraced if my team hadn't been knocked out of the running prematurely by our cross-state rivals (yes, I'm still bitter), it was off to Tampa where things got a little weird.
The neon-clad Untouchables dance crew managed to amaze my generally anti-dance crew self, and more importantly, they managed to wow our three judges. The dancing was impressively advanced, considering the prepubescent ages of the dancers. The crew earned an enthusiastic "Yes!" from Howie, Howard, and Sharon as well as some professional advice from Stern: "Puberty is your enemy."
Dude, puberty is everyone's enemy.
Also dancing their way to Las Vegas were the Scott Brothers -- loved the fedoras, guys.
The American BMX Stunt Team dominated the stage with their high-flying performance despite initially voicing concerns over the reduced space to work in. I couldn't help but wonder why we didn't just go outside if space was a concern. We did it for the human cannonball in Texas. We even did it for Twiggy the Water Skiing Squirrel during these very same auditions. Regardless, American BMX was awesome, no one lacerated a kidney (this time) and they joined the ranks of the Vegas-bound.
Finally, Lindsey Norton claimed the sweetheart position with her pretty smile and pleasant personality. Oh, and she can dance. Really well, in fact. Her graceful acrobatic dance routine earned a standing ovation from the audience and a "Yes!" from all the judges. I'm crossing my fingers for something with just a wee bit more energy when we see her again.
Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew weren't awful, but they were certainly ridiculous. I kept waiting for them to start stripping because this show has rendered me incapable of seeing a group of elaborately costumed men on the stage without thinking "STRIPPERS!" Thanks for that, AGT.
Puppets on Hand was too small scale to be a million-dollar Vegas act, but Howie Mandel was smitten because he saw the deeper meaning behind their barely comprehensible routine. Luckily, he was outvoted by Sharon and Howard.
There was some unnamed, possibly experimental, scarecrow-on-stilts performance art... something, that Sharon described as "disturbing somehow." I agree, sometimes there just aren't words. I'm still not entirely sure what I watched.
And finally, there was Big Barry. To be fair to Barry, he was advanced to the Las Vegas rounds, but not as a reward for his talent, which was supposed to be singing. That's why he's down here and not up there in the category preceding this one. To say that his singing was terrible would be an exaggeration and I honestly don't think that his was the worst singing audition that we've seen. It just wasn't polished. It didn't wow me. It didn't really impress the judges either, but they sent the 4-foot-10 crooner to the next round anyway because despite the flawed singing, he was kind of amusing. I guess.
Two words: Air. Sex.
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