I'm on an Internet "cocktail" date. I give these first encounters no more than an allotted 26 minutes. That's my rule which, of course, I have merrily broken in the past. But generally... a cup of java and I'm out. Tonight, it's booze -- 'cause it's Thursday and he amused...

According to every single woman's magazine on newsstands today, it's spring cleaning time. If I see another article on de-cluttering, I'm gonna go crazy. I won't deny, however, that the hints of fresh spring breezes wafting through my window does invite some kind of a REFRESH. My mess of a...

What follows is DUMPED's homage to the "Dear Abby" columnist, Pauline Phillips, who left this planet in January of 2013. Imagine if HBO's 'Girls' coming to her for advice, self-involved and dealing with their problematic Brooklyn lives and needing a bit of her most uncommon common sense...

Dear Abby,

Seriously,...

After being single for about six months, I finally came alive again, and by alive, I mean ... alive down there. After my breakup, I thought I'd never want to have sex again. My libido, along with my record collection and art books, got lost in the shuffle. Months went...

Well, ladies, the holidays are upon us. And you just made it through Thanksgiving... perhaps solo for the first time in years. Not so easy, is it?

Hopefully, you didn't make the same mistakes I did on that first feast without my "other half."

...

Getting over a break up? You've got one of two ways to go -- you can either be a cryin', whinin' mess or an empowerment babe! Lucky you, we've made a handy-dandy do's-and-don'ts infographic (we know how much you love these babies). Avoid the pitfalls of the DON'TS on the left hand side...

Closure is an illusion, ladies. Closure after a breakup simply does not exist. Take it from me...

I got dumped over the phone after a seven-year relationship -- blindsided, actually. So I was desperate for some kind of closure. I just wanted to friggin' understand what went wrong. Really... we're...

The hottest nine years of my adult carnal life were spent being somebody's "side dish." Don't feel sorry for me. He was my piece on the side, too -- and, much like lobster mac and cheese, was he ever delicious. 26 years older then me, he was wildly successful, sophisticated,...

The dissolution of TomKat's marriage is old news by now, but you can't help but wonder about all the waving neon flags that Cruise managed to miss. I mean, talk about getting blind-sided -- and all so publicly.

Alas, Tom Cruise isn't the first to have been duped. Remember the...

You know the biggies already, Folks. We're not going to waste your valuable skimming time telling you things you already understand, like: don't sleep with him anymore, don't call his mother to complain about him and don't mistake him for a "pal" just yet. But there are lots of other...

It was Mother's Day, and my maternal instincts were outed yet again as I watched another episode of Girls. I squirm with recognition as I watch Hannah chase the forever unavailable Adam ... unavailability being the key lure here. I know these girls. I am surrounded by them...

Dear Demi,

Your breakup with Ashton is old news by now. Whether you dumped him, or he dumped you -- no matter. The man behaved shabbily and now -- hey -- you're on your own again.

The Oscars were Sunday night, and I had you, your career, and your...

You can keep your Carrie and Samantha. I'm going drinking with Patsy and Edina. They're baaaaaack! Who wouldn't prefer these two hilarious, cocktail swizzlin', vacuous broads! No mention or need for men or chidren- they got each other, shopping and booze. BINGO!

Eight years later the gang's all back, funnier...