You know the biggies already, Folks. We're not going to waste your valuable skimming time telling you things you already understand, like: don't sleep with him anymore, don't call his mother to complain about him and don't mistake him for a "pal" just yet. But there are lots of other areas for potential self-sabotage at this very vulnerable time in your "recovery." That's right. We used the "R" word. Let's call it what it is. Here's a roundup of further and notable no no's:
#1. Don't take it out on your body
We've all seen the chick flicks -- a wailing broken hearted girl gobbling up a double gallon of ice cream, getting over that ex. Cliché but, hell, it'strue. We know how tempting a tub of rocky road Haagen Dazs is right now -- and go for it occasionally. Enjoy the fact that you don't have to suck in your gut for a bit. But make sure it's just for a bit. You don't want the
self loathing stuff that comes after too many of those binges. Be kind to your body, and it will be kind to you. Get your ass off that couch and into the gym. Bonus: you'll look hot in your dresses and jeans!
#2. Don't be "on the hunt"
Debunk that ridiculous myth: "The best way to get over a man (or woman) is to get under
another one." Don't get us wrong -- we're all for sex! Get yourself a lover, or just a vibrator, but don't jump on the relationship bandwagon too soon. Take your time. And when anyone asks you why you're not going out with someone because you're sooooo great with that sad sack face of theirs -- tell them to take a hike. Remember, most of your pals aren't having the hot sex they claim to be having at home -- but YOU can be. Enjoy your new freedom!
#3. Don't stalk him her
You're way too smart to stalk him or her physically after your breakup. Of course you are...BUT...on social media? That's tempting. Dump him and all his friends and family. It's simply too easy to track him or her on these outlets. We had our exes BLOCKED from all of our accounts because we knew one of those 3 a.m. nights after a martini or three, we'd go sniffing. Don't. You don't need to know where he or she's going or who he or she's
going with. All hurtful. Move on.
#4. Don't tell "your story" to everyone
Hold back. Don't tell everybody how you've been wronged. Boooooooooring! Save your droning for your journals and very, very good friends. The longer you hold on to "your story" and keep soliciting sympathy, the longer it will take you to move forward...and we don't want your pals to dump you, too.
#5. Don't hold on to the memorabilia
Dump the keepsakes. Dump all those memory triggers. Use this as an opportunity to de-clutter. Dump all the toxic people and things in your life and learn to live light!
#6. Don't waste energy on revenge.
Revenge is utter crap. Don't get even. Get over it.
#7. Don't isolate yourself
You're way too fabulous to be a shut-in. Get out and beyond your 4 walls. Push yourself away from your comfort zones -- take some risks! Meet your fabulous women friends for cocktails. Wear red lipstick and some killer stillettos and work it because you can.
#8. Don't settle for crumbs
That means anybody's crumbs -- not your ex's, not your friends', not your new date's. Guys usually tell you up front who they really are. Learn to listen. Don't date the damaged, bad kissers, texting lunatics or potential "projects." Take this time to raise your standards.
#9. Ease up on your regret bullshit
See your ex for what he or she truly was and try not to obsess about what could have or should have happened. That romanticized, idealized version can torment you after a breakup. Don't let it. It's done, over, finito.
#10. Don't beat yourself up about relapses
Relapses happen. Anniversaries, birthdays are a bitch. Remind yourself to be grateful that you are not with him or her any more. Remind yourself that people do NOT change. He or she isn't a better person/lover/friend to someone else. He or she hasn't aged like a fine wine for crying out loud! This time needs to be about you and your recovery. Choose to be happy. Get off your ass and over your ex NOW.
Maryjane Fahey and Caryn Beth Rosenthal are the co-authors of "DUMPED," a breakup bible for women to get off their asses and over their exes in record time. You can preorder it now -- Tom Cruise already has ...
Then like, tweet at, whatever them... they're very friendly.
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