If you're like me, you're seeking a deeper connection with your friends, family and professional career. For years I sought connection outside myself in many different forms, be it drugs, jobs, relationships, travel, starting businesses, consuming entertainment (and the list goes on).
I was YEARNING for attention, approval and primarily -- LOVE. It wasn't until I realized that all of the things I was seeking for outside myself were actually within. Realizing that I had to love myself was a great first step but it's been years and I am still learning how to. But one thing is for sure, I have experienced that the deeper I go into my own heart and express that truth, the more alive and connected I feel. When I am lovin' me life is flowing and when I'm in a fearful space all I see are stop signs all around me.
I hope this Love Yourself series has helped you open up a little more and truly begin to understand and PRACTICE that everything you seek is within you and that when you truly find love within yourself FOR you, the rest of the world will be easy to love.
So with that said, here are my final 6 tips for loving yourself and doing some spring cleaning along the way!
6. Trust Your Intuition
It whispers -- so listen closely. We all have a natural sense of knowing that is right for us and what isn't. We are given a thousand opportunities a day to trust our natural knowing. I don't know about you, but for years I kept thinking I didn't have intuition, but what I realized is that I have had it all my life, but I was TERRIFIED to actually DO what my intuition was suggesting.
Trust yourself, trust that little voice that whispers from beyond, it is your constant best friend and will always lead you toward your own happiness. Step out of that comfort zone and do it!
5. Set Fun & Exciting Goals
If we don't have a purpose our life shrinks. Part of my "fear therapy", as I sometimes call it, is to make life into a game and see what I can actually pull off. I dare myself to do all kinds of things I would never do in "real life", but when I look at life as a fun "game" -- THAT's when things get interesting. Part of stepping into THRIVING is setting goals that are fun and exciting to accomplish.
This requires some courage and big thinking, but when you do it and are unattached to outcome magic can happen. It's not really about if you fail, to me its more about experimenting and seeing what I can actually make happen. Set an audacious goal and then take action! See what happens!
4. Keep a positive outlook, even with set backs
We only see a very SMALL portion of the totality of life. Every set back you experience is a form of tremendous grace guiding you in a better direction. Instead of getting sad, depressed or feeling defeated keep a positive outlook on setbacks. What if every obstacle was actually a great gift? What if every set back was actually a huge leap forward?
If we can see life that way, that's Loving Ourselves and our creator. The system of Life is setup to benefit you and if you truly believe that the only way to look at life is as everything is a gift for your growth and development.
3. Enjoy the Journey
Being from the West, I am VERY goal-centric. But I have learned through LOTS of pain that goals are not what makes one happy. Having a sense of purpose makes us happy, but clinging to a specific goal that has to happen in a specific way leads to nothing but pain.
Remember, we are just each one human being, a particle of smallness in a vast Uni-verse. Our Creator (insert name here) has our backs and wants our life to be a festival. When we are close-minded and set on a specific outcome we are limiting what's possible for us. Having a goal helps you know what general direction you are going, but letting go and letting those miracles, synchronicities and coincidences to show up is where the magic comes in.
Goals are very important but remember that the journey of the present moment is the destination! Part of being present is enjoying the journey that is contained in this moment. When you open up and enjoy the journey you leave room for the most amazing and unexpected experiences to show up!
Let go and enjoy the ride!
2. Be Selective with who you spend time with
My Twitter friend Tyrese Gibson (@Tyrese4Real) made me aware of a wonderful Will Smith-ism which goes something like this:
"The five people you spend most of your time with will dictate how far your life and career will go."
I heard this a while back and it was a revelation for me. Living in LA and being ambitious its hard to cultivate authentic relationships because you don't know who has a hidden agenda and who is being real. When I heard this I decided to own the fact that I want success in my life and to cultivate relationships that support my inner and outer success and to let people know that is my intention. I've found that by owning this, putting it out there right up front that people respect this truth and WANT to help.
I took a long look at the people in my life and decided that some people had to go so I could leave room for new and supportive folks. Now, my life is FULL of many mutually supportive, authentic and beautiful relationships. If you value yourself and your time, be selective about who you spend time with... This one tip could be a major game changer in your life.
1. Have Patience
We live in a digital made to order world and most of us experience some form of INSTANT gratification almost every day. But we have to remember we are human beings who live in a Universe that grows organically and is a part of a larger, higher order of things. If you're like me and believe that you co-manage your life with your Creator that means that it's vital that you surrender your will to the will of your Creator.
This doesn't mean being the Divine's Bitch, but it does mean showing up, doing your work every day and then detaching from outcome. When we approach the world with trust and patience we open up to a larger field of possibility. If you're seeking, creating and co-managing your Life with your Creator, enjoy the time it takes to gestate your vision.
In your effort to get ahead, don't get ahead of yourself! Truly loving yourself means enjoying each step of the process INCLUDING the delays and seeing the entire dance of creation as a dance for your best interest!
The Force is strong with you Young Jedi, Love Yourself & have some patience...