Cry Baby

I spent a good part of last Tuesday crying. It started early in the morning right after I got back from voting. I turned on The Today Show and watched my candidate and his family vote in Chicago. Then Meredith had to mention how sad it was that his grandmother couldn't last one more day to see the results. That comment alone along with the images of the Obamas at the polls was enough to make me cry like a baby. After several minutes I calmed down, looked myself in the mirror and said "get it together" and left for work.

At work I was able to keep busy and distracted from the news. I looked up now and then at the TV in my office and allowed myself to marvel at the footage coming in from all of the country of lines after lines of people waiting to elect a new president. As soon as some bit of emotion started rising up in me, I looked away and did my best to concentrate on my daily chores.

I got through the day and left work a bit early to meet up with my neighbor to watch the results come in. I met him at the grocery store where we got snacks for the evening. We rushed upstairs. I didn't want to jinx anything, but I felt good enough to run into my apartment to find a bottle of Dom Perignon that I had stored away for a special occasion. The results started coming in and I was getting nervous. They hadn't called any big states yet, so I tried keeping it in perspective. I dealt with CNN's holograms and more election calls that weren't going Obama's way. We ordered pizza, our other neighbor came over and we kept calm. "Did you just see that?", I said. Florida had just started to go in Obama's favor. Then Pennsylvania turned blue. Then Ohio. 11PM came and CNN called it. Our 44th President was officially Barack Obama. Unbelievable. We opened the Dom and celebrated.

Then it hit me. All this time I was hoping and praying for this win. Battling my parents and friends. Winning some arguments and losing others. It all led up to this moment. This victory. I was exhausted, but like Obama has always said this election was never just about him. It was about all of us. That was evident from the countless live feeds from Grant Park in Chicago, Election Plaza in New York and especially the footage coming from the streets outside the White House. America was celebrating. It was a brand new day. I promptly burst into tears. My neighbor hugged me and and I let it all go. I cried and cried. I had never felt so proud to be an American.

Not only is it a complete U-turn from the last eight years, this election is a huge step forward in race relations in this country. Many people never thought they would see an African American president in their lifetime. That dream was no longer deferred and that made me cry even harder. I am a white man. I could never know the kind of struggles African Americans have gone through and keep going through each day, but I think I can empathize a bit as a gay man. I've been lucky enough in my lifetime. I've never had problems getting a job, my family accepted me point blank and I only got beat up once. That's not a huge struggle by any means. I was explaining this a bit to a girl I met at my local watering hole on Friday night. We were talking about the election and I told her that I had been a blubbering mess since. She was of mixed race herself and she understood more than me. She just turned to me and said, "It's OK baby. You've been touched by hate a little bit yourself. You understand what it's like." I guess she was right. I had been touched I suppose. I think maybe all of us have been touched by hate over the last eight years.

Barack has a lot to live up to. There's a ton of weight on that man's shoulders, but I feel confident and hopeful that things will work out. I promise to try and keep a stiff upper lip at least until January 20. I might have a little trouble that day.

 

Comments

[iforone]

I am a white woman who has never truly been oppressed or discriminated against in my life. My white husband is similarly free from oppression. Both of us cried like a couple of blithering idiots when the election results were called. Why? I'm not sure. I think it was a mixture of pride in our country, relief that the long weeks of anxious poll watching were finally over, and a great big shot of a ding dong the witch is dead-like reaction to the Bush era finally coming to an end.

[Lilly-G]

I cried Tuesday nite for complete joy and exhaustion. I, too, battled many friends and family over Obama and it was well worth every frustrating minute. I'm from the blood-red, redneck state of Okla. and it isn't easy being a liberal here at all. Between my 2nd Amendment phobic husband to my ultra-religious right-wingnut sister, its been rough. She won't talk to me now and I wish my husband would stop! I stood in a long line with all McCain supporters to proudly vote for Obama. Its hard to even express my exhiliration at helping to get Obama elected and for the promise of hope we now have. The passing of Prop 8 was the only downer moment of it all.

[donbrown]

Some smart publicist should tie the opening of the film "Milk" about slain California politician Harvey Milk to the Prop 8 defeat.

[sowhatdemos]

The whole world cried tears of joy Tuesday, I'm still teary too. It's hard to believe we actually did it! Their loving close knit family will be such a positive influence on all of us around the world.
I, too, was very disapointed over Prop 8 and I'm an old, white, straight broad from the racist south. We will get there, keep protesting! What was really sad other than Prop 8 was the ban on adoption with so many kids needing loving homes. It takes the stupid people longer to get it, but keep pushing. The Christian Right is neither.

[JRsNana]

My brother and I were on the phone with each other crying like babies! We just kept saying "He did it" "We did it" "He did it".......
It was SO much better than the tears we wept 8 years ago on that AWFUL Tuesday (Wednesday...and the next 2 months and the 8 years following) in November. SO MUCH BETTER!
I burst in to tears today when Barack helped Michelle out of the car at the White House. I can't seem to stop. It's all just SO FREAKIN' COOL!

[peacegurl48]

I cried for JOY because of Obama and for sorrow because of Prop 8! Let's work to repeal it!

[ohioan73]

Blacks, Latinos, Gays and Atheists. We will ALL make it to the mountaintop, maybe not together, but if we are patient, we will get there. We have moved ahead a tremendous step and we wont be moving backwards from here, so dont you worry, baby. :D

People who voted for Prop 8 just need a tolerance lesson and better education. We have identified another problem in society--the conservatism that takes over the mind of an individual who is undereducated. Its not hate all the time. Sometimes its just "overchurching". As an atheist, I would like to see religion done away with completely because it impedes social progress, but unfortunately the world is far from going that way. Until we have a gay, or atheist president one day, THEN we will have gotten somewhere. Until then, this is a step tremendous step towards freedom and equality for all.

[PatA]

I am 65, Mark, and I am still in such a wonderful place because I NEVER dreamed that I would see a Black President in my life. (I am white and grew up in a very redneck area of Oklahoma! )

[MsDebate]

I cried like a baby too, and will be so proud when I am at the inauguration on January 20th...

[thegaygardener]

You don't mention it but as a gay man I am sure you shed some more tears when you realized that as much as things have changed, hate is still out there "touching" people; only now it is enshrined in LAW in California.

I cried on Tuesday too for all the reasons you stated & like you, out of sheer exhaustion as well.
But I kept on crying & still do almost every day when I see the footage of thousands of gay people marching in the streets having been left behind by The Obama Express.
I have to dry my eyes now & figure out what actions I & the thousands who were disenfranchised on Tuesday can take in the days to come

November 5th did not feel at all like I imagined it would. sad.

[Matt Budd - Huffpost Blogger]

You are so right. I wanted to sum up my feelings about what happened on Tuesday night in respect to the Presidential race, but you are absolutely right. I was disheartened to hear the outcome of Prop 8, but I am encouraged about the various marches and protests that are being covered in the media. I, like you, will dig into what I can do going forward.

[Pettit]

As a straight woman, I'm extremely disappointed with the voters choice to ban gay marriage. I do believe we are all equal and everybody should be represented but
why would you blame Obama for this is beyond me.