Early in 1978, I hung out a shingle and began practicing law with three friends on Castro Street in San Francisco. It was before HIV turned all our lives upside down, but we soon realized that hospital ICU visitation policies were a big problem for the LGBT community. So many lesbians and gay men in those days had come to San Francisco because life elsewhere was impossible. They'd built families because they were rejected by their "natural" families. But most medical facilities didn't recognize those families.
My law partners and I sat down and created a very official sounding document called a "Hospital Visit Authorization." It purported to direct the hospital to let a person named by the patient visit if visiting were restricted. We also tried to create a medical power of attorney so partners could make medical decisions. We didn't have any legal authority for any of this. We just made the stuff up. And more times than I care to remember, I bluffed my way through confrontational phone calls with hospital administrators and lawyers. I'm pretty proud of the fact that most of the time I got them to back down.
But in the ensuing 30 years (ok, 30 plus years), the problem didn't go away. In the first Domestic Partnership laws, hospital visiting was something we always included. Just three years ago, a story we used in a video about a man whose partner died alone because of a hospital visitation policy broke my heart.
Maybe that history is why I got a genuine all-American lump in my throat when I read President Obama's Memo to Kathleen Sebelius on Hospital Patients yesterday. I'm still a geeky lawyer at heart, so I loved the substance of the memo. The President told Sebelius to use her power to make rules for hospitals that get Medicaid and Medicare--virtually all hospitals. So it isn't a classic regulation; if you don't want to comply, you don't have to. You just can't get paid by Medicare if you don't. Cute. Moreover, by doing that, the President was using the federal power to spend--the broadest of the federal government's powers
But it was the President's explanation of why we needed the new policy that got me misty:
There are few moments in our lives that call for greater compassion and companionship than when a loved one is admitted to the hospital. In these hours of need and moments of pain and anxiety, all of us would hope to have a hand to hold, a shoulder on which to lean -- a loved one to be there for us, as we would be there for them.
Yes. Exactly. He went on:
Yet every day, all across America, patients are denied the kindnesses and caring of a loved one at their sides -- whether in a sudden medical emergency or a prolonged hospital stay... Also uniquely affected are gay and lesbian Americans who are often barred from the bedsides of the partners with whom they may have spent decades of their lives -- unable to be there for the person they love, and unable to act as a legal surrogate if their partner is incapacitated.
I felt like the man had been there with me in the early 80s when we were trying to get partners into ICUs with people who had GRIDS (the first name for what we now call AIDS). Did I mind that he talked about straight widows or nuns? Not at all. I want him not just to issue orders but to make Americans understand. And this memo works hard to do that.
As I walked home after reading the memo, I realized that after this order, those "Hospital Visit Authorizations" and local domestic partnership laws will soon not just be unnecessary. They'll soon be forgotten, not even a historical footnote. So I went home and poured myself a small glass of old whiskey (ok, not that small) to celebrate the irrelevance of something I worked hard on when I was a young lawyer. How sweet it is to become beside the point.
Follow Matt Coles on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ACLULGBT
Craig Garner: The Visitor / Reducing Stress in a Hospital Stay
The hospital stay is often a time of great stress for patients and their families alike. Lying in a hospital bed surrounded by tubes and monitors, the patient is in a vulnerable state both mentally and physically.
But don't start gushing on about how wonderful Pres. Obama is just yet, people. Keep a critical eye open. He is also doing some things that are criminal and unconstitutional. A good push for humanity doesn't excuse a terrible decision against it.
This was only signed because midterms are coming up.
The dems need the gay dollars.
Nothing else of substance will be accomplished on gay rights this year.
Obummer won't do anything for gay people unless he's absolutely pushed.
He got it in "under the radar" and you're being a cynic about it. Cut the man some slack. So far, he's the best President "we" have ever had in our corner.
Sure, keep the pressure on, but carefully. Cynicism is not helpful.
His way of putting the order through put me in mind of some maneuvers FDR used. I'm not a lawyer and I can't remember the particulars (and I'm just now working on my first cup of coffee - searching the net would be like asking me to run a marathon just now. :-) ) but Roosevelt as I recall did something where "of course you can have a federal contract - as long as you don't discriminate. If you do, then good luck to ya. Next."
How wonderful when tired old things go the way of the horse and buggy and progress is made. Especially something like this. If you've ever sat in hospital room with someone terrified, possibly dying, and knowing when they open their eyes they will find you there, that you are there for them to reach for and you can reach for them....well then you know what this means. It's medicine and it's peace. And you don't have to be gay, I'm not, to know it and to want that for everyone.
Our President did well here and I'm so happy for everyone who will benefit. Raising my coffee to your whiskey and toasting.
Just as LBJs Medicare memo ended the "white hospital v. negro hospitals", this order essentially ends the unnecessary and arbitrary rules of visitation.
Salute to Mr. Obama - your dignity and class are on full display.
J
Yep. That sure is some "fierce advocating"
Weak Broth!
J
Democracy at its best...this is what America is missing right now empathy and courage.
We all want to be loved, and I personally do not care with whom one finds that love,
sometimes its all the medicine we need to feel better.
I've seen this happen between a couple who had been with each other for 13 years
and the family of the dieing patient refused to allow her partner access. It was
heartbreaking.
This is democracy at its best...this is what America is missing right now empathy and courage.
We all want to be loved, and I personally do not care with whom one finds that love,
sometimes its all the medicine we need to feel better.
I've seen this happen between a couple who had been with each other for 13 years
and the family of the dieing patient refused to allow her partner access. It was
heartbreaking.
7. His compassion for all people evident in this memo - to include all the loved ones in the care of a hosptal patient.
I could not be prouder of the POTUS. He is all I was hoping he would be.
He works harder than any president in recent memory and he is doing so many positive things I might not be able to list them all. Here's a start:
1. moving toward health care for all Americans - too bad the public option failed, maybe next time
2. working on a common-sense regulation of the big banks - they do need to pay for their own failures
3. start of a sane energy policy - instituting credits for the right choice of energy use is a start as well as provisions for alternative transportation - could be bolder but bolder could not have passed - but, finally, a president that will address the issue of energy use
4. working toward an international agreement to stop nuclear proliferation - the recent summit has me beaming
5. more to follow
WOW! What a man we have as president. Let's support and work for and with him.
6. the economy is turning around from the shambles it was left in by Bush - what an inheritance, huh -- 2 used wars and a pending depression
And then there is the rest of us, who see in President Obama a man of principle, courage, and vigorous leadership; a man who has a core of values that are shared by most Americans; a man willing to make the tough calls that irritate the left and send the the "seccessinist righties" howling and screaming to the nearest Tea Party. But in these smaller actions, as well as the "big issues" actions, he is proving to be thoughtful, judicious, and compassionate. On further reflection, one could say indeed, that his moral core is attuned to the fact that the universe does indeed bend toward the arc of justice. All this, I am recognizing daily, is an integral part of just who is this man we Americans elected as our 44th President 18 months ago. Thank God we did!