10/03/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

John McCain Hands the Democrats a Gift

Okay, I received emails from none of you giving me kudos, so let me be the first to pat myself on the back: in May - May! - I said Obama should pick Biden for VP on this very page. On July 3rd, I said that McCain should throw a Hail Mary for his VP pick.

Both Obama and McCain followed my advice (even though they didn't read my post - or did they?). For Obama, the Biden pick is absolutely the right selection. Joe Biden is the perfect VP nominee. Brilliant, a family guy, and in public service for all the right reasons. For McCain, his Hail Mary, like some, looks like it will end up as an interception that the other team is going to return for a touchdown.

As soon as I heard about the McCain pick, I thought, like many of you, "Who?" My guess was that McCain would pick Tim Pawlenty. It was just deduction. McCain and Romney do not get along well; Rudy 9-11 was a horrible campaigner and became a punchline; Joe Lieberman and Tom Ridge would result in James Dobson flying a kamikaze raid into the XCel Energy Center; I'm not sure that McCain gets along with Kay Bailey Hutchison; and Colin Powell would probably not accept a McCain offer.

I never thought McCain would pick Sarah Palin, because it refutes his entire experience argument. But even if McCain picked her, I never, ever thought he would do it without fully vetting her - not in this day and age, when TMZ will fill the void of vetting if the candidate falis to do so (and they have - go look at their Web site).

When I heard McCain picked Sarah Palin, I thought, maybe there's something we do not know; maybe they have a great chemistry. Maybe they're Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, maybe they're Clooney and JLo in the trunk. Maybe there's the magic that comes along once in a lifetime.

When I then heard that McCain spent 15 minutes interviewing Palin, I thought, wow, this is the equivalent of one of those quickie-Vegas weddings. McCain makes fun of Obama for being a celebrity; McCain just pulled off the political equivalent of Britney Spears' wedding to Jason Alexander.

And, just like with Britney, we are left to wonder: Is there anyone to tell these people they have made the wrong decision? Is there anyone who says, "No, absolutely not, over my dead body!"

It now appears that McCain threw a fit because the right-wing would have tormented him for picking Lieberman or Ridge. As if he could not have figured that out a few months, or a few years, ago. As if the right-wing would suddenly be okay with a ticket that featured a liberal Democrat on all issues save foreign policy.

So McCain apparently threw up his hands and said, "They want a right-winger, I'll give them a right-winger."

You know, I have to tell you that I often question McCain's judgment. He has said he'd fight the Iraq war all over again, knowing that Saddam didn't have WMDs; he doesn't know much about the economy, he has told us; he doesn't know that health care plans cover Viagra and not birth control; he voted against tax cuts without spending cuts, but then changed his mind; he stayed away from the religious right, but then he tried to embrace them; he was involved in the S&L scandal, tried to become the paragon of virtue, and then brought in lobbyists to run his entire campaign; there are Republicans in Congress who do not want him to be President because of his temper; he's sung a little ditty about bombing Iran and thirsts for a renewal of the Cold War; he's 72 and has had two bouts with cancer; he does not know how many homes he owns.

He was in the movie "Wedding Crashers," and when he was asked about working in a movie (an incredibly funny movie, by the way) that featured nudity, he said, "I'm used to working with boobs."

Ladies and Gentlemen, your Republican nominee for President.

And now, Sarah Palin. A rush choice to be a heartbeat away from the Presidency. But given McCain's history of bad decisions, it's not a surprise that he made another one. And I have to admit: watching the McCain folks flail on TV trying to defend the pick is the best comedy on TV since "Seinfeld" went off the air.

I heard one McCain spokesperson say that Palin is qualified to be a heartbeat away from the Presidency because she commanded the Alaska National Guard - as if she was General Patton commanding the Seventh Army division's invasion of Sicily.

John McCain, this election looked as if was going to be closer than expected. Now, you've handed the Democrats (and the country) a gift - a true display of your bad judgment.

Thank you.