It's About the Relationship Stupid

I don't spend a lot of time worrying about politics, I have my opinions and hopes about the country and where it should go in the next number of years, but quite frankly, I also know at the end of the day nobody cares what a matchmaker thinks about the economy or health care.

But I do have a pretty good idea about what makes a man and woman tick, and my brain just won't stop turning about this election. Of course it's everywhere, I think it's getting better ratings than America Idol, now that's sayin' something... because men are such visual creatures, I view Barack and Hillary at first glance like this, with Mr. Obama I picture him and his wife and kids playing in the park, with Mrs. Clinton I picture Monica Lewinsky on her knees in the Oval Office. I can't help it, it's how I see it.

Lets try a simple word association. Ready.. Hillary: Reckless Ambition.... Barrack: Positive Change. Still seem too opinionated and harsh? Ok, ok, I agree...

It's not even because she's a woman, hell, I would welcome a female president, I work exclusively with women everyday, they're smarter than men, trust me. In my personal view this whole current political battle is about good and bad relationships. Relationships and how to find, navigate and nurture them is my business, as a matter of fact my new book Why Hasn't He Called? is based on the subject. Sorry to self promote for a second, but it is my first book!

When it is all said and done the true identity of who we are is depicted most accurately in the way in which we interact with those whom are dearest to our hearts. In most cases our actions towards our significant others are driven on relaxed , knee jerk emotional responses, not what appear to be strategic, contractual obligations.

I work with many women who've been the victims of infidelity, it's not a happy moment looking into their frightened and broken faces as they describe how they felt when they first learned that they were cheated on. Full disclosure, I was married once before, I did it all wrong, and lost it all. But I wasn't caught, I confessed, I gave my ex-wife everything and set her free, by saving her from anymore pain, I saved myself. I became a student of relationships; I learned what real honesty was about and what real love meant. And I can tell you as an "expert" on the subject you can't be a happy couple if your only bond is a decades old contract built on consolidated power and endless denial.

America is hurting inside, we've been hurting since 2001, something is off, and we need a hero, we need some hope. And I see a glimpse of hope when it comes to Barack Obama, I also see a human being, flesh and blood, wrongs made right. Do I agree with all his policy ideas and political impulses, but there is something about the way he looks at his wife, Michelle, it feels like real love. We don't always get that with the past inhabitants of the White House, we get this kind of icy chill when we see them profess their passion for each other. Every time Bill goes out there to "defend my wife", he's really just defending himself. If he really wanted to help her, he'd make himself scarce, let her do the heavy lifting and run the race as a powerful woman. But because of a splintered relationship, he can't let go. Hillary is not an unintelligent woman, far from it. She actually deserves the chance to prove her worth, if she did from the start of her campaign she might of already won the nomination.

Once a man cheats on his wife he feels guilty, he tries to make things "right", I know I did. Throw in an often debated presidential legacy and you've got relationship quicksand, and America needs solid ground to stand on with the next presidential administration, not quicksand.

Now, I've heard people attack Barack Obama's lack of specifics, but since when does hope and promise need footnotes? Obama's main crime seems to be that he's "young and naïve", didn't they say that about Bill when HE was running for position of the leader of the free world? We want the next president to live his or HER life by the simple cornerstone of our country, which is the American family and it's moral code. Now "moral code" is not something you can discount. If we know that the core of a relationship is frayed, if the vows of matrimony have been long ago replaced by an oath of political partnership how can we trust it? Our relationships describe who we are, every single one of my clients yearns for a relationship that will reward them, inspire them and fulfill them.

Nowadays it would seem, America does too.

Comments

[Querent]

"nobody cares what a matchmaker thinks about the economy or health care. "

Right the first time.

[Serfie]

Another Hillary hater who can't positively advocate for Obama based on his policy positions.

It really says something about the Obama thugocrat mentality when he judges an election in 2008 by a BJ Bill Clinton received over ten years ago.

[Gilda]

I agree.
Let's give both Hillary and Bill a rest so they can spend more time together because they obviously love each other so much.

[BlogAngel]

I believe they really love each other deeply. Even their toughest biographers believe they do. Hillary was no cute little honey when Bill chose her at law school - and she chose him back. She was working hard for social change and that was their close bond you might not recognize, Matt. He was from a hick town and she was a real feminist - probably one of the first women he knew who believed in civil rights, women's rights, who was absolutely brilliant, who would get on a bus and go march in Selma when it was dangerous. He loved her for the right reasons. Her family thought she gave up a chance at her own political career when she moved to Alabama. She supported him. Now he's supporting her back. Guilt? Maybe. But much, much more. A bond of deep admiration and publicly shared extraordinary and painful experiences none of us will ever come close to. This may not be the kind of relationship you're best at, Matt, or that any of us can ever really understand. But it's probably one of the greatest love stories in history. It's easy to love someone when things are nice. True love happens when someone hurts you. You and your wife called it quits during those times. The Clintons didn't. She's loved him all along and never doubted his love for her, she says, even during the Monica days. Now, as he seems to be going through a health meltdown, she's loyal to him 100% and he's doing all he knows to give back to her the loyalty she gave to him. Just as she's loyal to women and to America, even as she's berated, betrayed and sometimes even hated. You're not a woman and you can't understand this, Matt. I think many women will. Hillary Clinton is a complex person. I admire her tremendously and after 232 years without ever having a president who represents 54% of the American people - women - I hope she wins.

[sky2evan]

And people call Mr. Obama naive???

The Clintons are not "probably one of the greatest love stories in history".

Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, and who knows countless how many others, this string of sexual promiscuity in a marriage is not built upon "a bond of deep admiration".

I really hope for your own sake, that if you are currently involved in a relationship, that you do not use the same naivete and innocence. Please be careful.

[Thorn]

That is brilliant satire.

[clevelandchick]

If I were to judge every person on their relationships I'd probably not interact with anyone. But, I do think Bill has hurt Hillary. I think unfortunately he is her anchor and I don't mean that in a good way.

But on the other hand she began her campaign using her time with him in the White House as part of her qualifications as a candidate. She claimed she worked along side him. Democrats have had time to reflect on Bill Clinton's presidency and the rosy hue of their view has cleared up.

Unfortunately for Hillary people remembered NAFTA (responsible for millions of lost jobs in America), the repeal of the Glass Steagall Act (responsible for the subprime mortgage meltdown & predatory lending), Don't Ask Don't Tell (thousands of outed military personnel discharged), and Welfare Reform (that pushed so many people into an endless cycle of poverty). If she worked along side Bill in the 90s then she supported these terrible policies.

That kind of feeding at the corporate trough and playing centrist monopoly mentality the Clintons and the DLC foisted upon the Democratic Party is not what the people want anymore. The American Dream is in danger partly because of that mentality. And Barack does offer a break from that mentality.