You remember the exact moment. You were both hot and heavy and the camera was an arm's length away. He was a stud. But now, six months later, the dude has been flashing nude pictures of you for all his bros to see.
It's called "Bed Cred" in guy talk. Ray Jay has it, along with Tommy Lee and Brett Michaels. The list goes on. Bed Cred is the power to make a chick strip naked and perform in front of the camera. Sharing that Bed Cred is a right of honor with some guys. Case in point: A client of mine had a boyfriend who would get together with his buddies every few months for an event they called "the wall of shame." They would actually take turns pinning up naked pictures of their recent conquests in a competition to see who bagged the hottest chick. Guys consider Bed Cred something that puts them into the "circle of royalty" among their friends.
It's easy to get; it's hard to get rid of.
It started when he told you how hot you looked, wrapped up in those sheets. Then, he asked to snap a few sultry shots.
You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and notice that you really do have that sexy bed-head look. You agree under the one condition: You have final cut approval.
What he was really thinking: "I'll take a couple of headshots while I tell her she's totally hot. Then I'll kiss her and she'll be ready to bare it all."
After he snaps off a few shots, it makes you feel sexy. Then, he starts kissing you and touching you like no other man. He stops, looks at you and says, "Babe, you know what would be such a turn on? Artistic pictures of your beautiful body. I've never wanted to do that with anyone else."
Inside his mind he's thinking, "My boys will die when they see these. I can't believe I lost the pictures I had of my last girlfriend. This girl is 10 times hotter."
In the next 30 minutes, you turn into a Playboy centerfold and follow it up with the best sex he's ever had. Inside his mind, he will have this memory of you, even when there is another girl in his bed.
For girls, the only way to avoid what happens next is not to stand in front of that camera to being with.
Six months later, you've been memorialized in his camera phone for all his bros to see. Guys consider Bed Cred something that puts them into the "circle of royalty" among friends. Simply put: Men are visual creatures. At the end of a relationship, the emotional attachment is over. While women save love notes and jewelry, men have their photos.
In the end, the "ex" can be the best thing to building a guy's "bed cred" because according to him, she would do anything for him in bed. He was the best she ever had.
It would be great to ask her, but you can't, because she's long gone.
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