03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Tiger's (New) Endorsements

A weird thing happened last night. I was on the internet and I read this thing about a woman who wasn't an alleged mistress of Tiger Woods. Crazy, right? It seems that he has been doing a lot more "golfing" than any of us ever expected. And now that we know what kind of "Tiger" Tiger Woods really is, it's hard not to see some inadvertent sexual innuendo in the slogans of the products he endorses:

Gillette: "The best a man can get."
Nike: "Just do it."
Gatorade: "Is it in you?"

If Mr. Woods should lose these current endorsement deals because of all this, I'd like to suggest a few other options that might work for him:

Skittles: "Taste the rainbow."
Doublemint Gum: "Double your pleasure. Double your fun."
Energizer: "It keeps going and going and going."