THE BLOG

Declaring the Sex Wars a Draw

10/03/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Click the play button below to hear our song about the Palins and ending the silly, epic sex wars.

When you think about all the heavyweights that have taken bullets in the partisan sex wars, it's hard to imagine a peace brokered by a pouty-faced 17-year old Alaskan who as far as we know doesn't speak. Here's hoping.

The response to Bristol Palin's pregnancy from the Obama campaign, and anyone else with half a brain, a sprinkle of candor and a dash of decency, has been pitch perfect. It really is the family's business. It's not ironic at all that the daughter of a Governor opposed to sex-education and very possibly opposed to contraception has a pregnant daughter (it would be ironic if the daughter of the founder of Trojan got pregnant) and the family's response has been exactly in line with what you would expect of someone with their principles.

And sure, abstinence-only education is as much of a joke here as it is a tragedy in Africa, but the Palins have made good on it. I have no idea if Bristol Palin would not be pregnant if she had the pleasure, as I did, of seeing my school nurse with an OTB addiction put a condom on an unlucky banana plucked from the cafeteria. What I do know is that no one went and blamed rap music or Grand Theft Auto II or Leisure Suit Larry (remember?) for it, and that's a step in the right direction.

The fact is we should treat every pregnant teenager like she's Bristol Palin. Hate-mongering pols can find this to be a fine moment to stop making teenage black mothers into welfare phantoms while issuing oratory icing about Bristol Palin's bravery. They're both in difficult situations where to do anything at all is brave. And after years of back-and-forth of debate about which party's sex scandals make them bigger hypocrites, from Clinton to Vitter to Craig to Spitzer to Edwards and all the forgotten political corpses in between, and the ones we haven't found out about yet and perhaps never will, now might be a good time to take stock. Find me a person whose sex and/or family life isn't the slightest bit at odds with his or her public persona and I'll show you someone with a fucked up public persona. The only people that come to mind are Bret Michaels and GG Allin, and one of those was buried with a mustache and no pants.

So. as someone who still doesn't care about John Edwards' affair, thinks that David Vitter's senate career is marked far more darkly by his policies than his diaper fetish, and that Sarah Palin's parenting skills might be her best trait, this is a nice time to admit that both political parties have done a horrible enough job at living up to our own sexual ideals and instilling them in their children that we should just declare it a 0-0 game and get the hell on with it.

This is the point in the blog where I introduce the song that we did about the topic discussed above. It's called "They'll Make an Example Out Of You" and we scratched it together today as an attempt to present this idea with fewer words and more bounce.

And re: rock music/politics, Fred Durst will not make it into the rock and roll hall of fame, but not because of the sex tape (gross!) He won't make it in because he isn't qualified. Hopefully Sarah Palin won't make it to the Vice Presidency for similar reasons. Led Zeppelin did something with a groupie and a fish and are firmly in the rock god pantheon. We clearly apply better standards here than we do in politics.

Play it!

They'll Make An Example Out Of You

I drove passed the PSA on a western federal road
I waited on the time delay to filter out the signal from code
I'm not in the business of throwing rocks, if I was I know where they'd go
I'd aim for the schoolhouse door, they'd aim for my radio

Call off the coverage, declare this one a draw
Mistakes they come to many, we're happy hypocrites all
But the angle angles different, based on what we're born into
The focus will hedge on the tone of the flesh
If you fit in the story they'll make an example out of you

I enjoyed all the summer heat as the reports blared into my cure
Schadenfreude it sure tastes so sweet, jumping out of our seats towards the stars
Quite tempting though it all might be, it don't dignify a response
I'll sit on my filthy hands to get this off the table for once

And for good, I'm declaring this one a draw
None of us are any good at this, so let's stop pretending we are
Go on and treat them like royalty, but do the same with all others too
I've got no respect for the best laid plans
With clean losing hands, making no examples out of you

Max and the Marginalized are a band and a blog. We do a song every week on the Huffington Post, all 48 of which are available for download here at our site. Add us on Facebook or MySpace.