CBS' “60 Minutes” aired a segment about the NFL on Sunday, an update on where the league stands more than a decade after Bennet Omalu discovered the brain disease chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) in former Pittsburgh Steelers center Mike Webster.
A soccer match inside the national stadium of France continued until completion on Friday as chaos consumed the city outside.
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The University of Missouri announced Friday that Gary Pinkel will resign from his position as head football coach at the end of the 2015 season for health-related reasons. Pinkel informed his coaching staff and team of his decision Friday evening.
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Texas governor Greg Abbott has just had it with this Dallas Cowboys defense! It's horrible! But on Sunday, Abbott wondered what the perfect metaphor for the situation could be. Perhaps the very border of which he is in charge!
At some point on Oct. 1, 2015, someone somewhere uploaded a video to YouTube entitled, "What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber."
The question we need answered is this: Did whoever uploaded the video know, at that exact moment, that humanity as we now know it would never be the same?
"What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber" clocks in at two minutes and 50 seconds, but it's actually much longer than that, as it is impossible to watch the video without immediately going back to the start and watching it again.
The video features five male dancers riding Segways (or PhunkeeDucks or Hoverboards or whatever) in choreographed motion to create what is inarguably an Epic Segway Dance Cover of "What Do You Mean?" by Justin Bieber. It is, without a doubt, the greatest thing humanity has ever created. Sorry, cheeseburgers.
Let us walk through some of the video's greatest moments, starting with our protagonist, who we will refer to from here on out as Robert.
Oh, you say texting while Segway-ing is dangerous? Robert couldn't care less what you think. He needs to meet up with The Boys ASAP.
Now, Robert doesn't meet up with his friends like you meet up with your friends. No, he does it in a way that is so much cooler than you, so much smoother. Oh, hi, guys. Didn't see you there.
The thing you need to know about the five dancers who make up the "What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber" dance crew is that they are more in time with one another than the earth is with the moon, than the sun is with the planets. That all goes to say: they are really coordinated with one another.
Let's take a moment and give credit where credit is due. It's not just the dancers who do great work in the YouTube video "What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber." It is also the camera people. This is some "Matrix"-level stuff.
Honestly, these guys are just really good at Segway-ing while incorporating dance moves into their lives.
Oh, did you want to see how much more amazing that move got?
Then there is the stop. Man, is there the stop. Could watch these guys turn and stop all day, honestly. "Oh!" Robert seems to scream. That is the confidence of a man who knows he is better at what he does than anyone else on the planet, like Michael Jordan in the '90s.
But hey, you can't Segway while dancing forever. So at some point. it's time to say goodbye with an epic friend hold-slash-jump thing. All you can say is "Wow." Wow.
Thank you, "What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber." Thank you. Somewhere, Justin Bieber is crying tears of joy. We certainly are.
The people of the Internet had a grand old time this week mercilessly making fun of a group of young ladies who were caught taking selfies and enjoying themselves at a Wednesday baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and Arizona Diamondbacks.
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The announcers of a recent game between the Colorado Rockies and Arizona Diamondbacks were absolutely miffed when they discovered a bunch of friends who were taking photos of themselves and having fun while at a Major League Baseball game.
The friends can be seen in the above video taking photos, eating various snacks, laughing and generally having a great time instead of watching two teams who are combined 143-173 for the season play each other in a game of zero consequence.
Rather than commend the women for attending a game between two teams that have no hope of making the postseason, however, the announcers take to mocking their selfie-taking fun.
Some choice quotes:
- "Do you have to make faces when you take selfies?"
- "'That's the best one of the 300 pictures I've taken of myself today.'" [Mocking voice]
- "EVERY GIRL IN THE PICTURE IS LOCKED INTO THEIR PHONE. [Other guy: Oooh, lord.] EVERY SINGLE ONE IS DIALED IN. WELCOME TO PARENTING IN 2015. THEY'RE ALL JUST COMPLETELY TRANSFIXED BY THE TECHNOLOGY."
- "'Hold on, gotta take a selfie with the hot dog, selfie with the churro, selfie just of the selfie.'" [Mocking voice]
- "Peralta knocks it into center. David tonight 2-2, a leadoff single here in the fourth, aaaand nobody noticed."
- "I can't even get my phone to take pictures."
- "You know the beauty of baseball is you can sit next to your neighbor and have a conversation, or you can just completely ignore them."
- "Can we do an intervention?"
Poor announcers, what they don't realize is that taking selfies at baseball games has become something of a baseball tradition. Sure, it's a tradition less time-honored than, say, Cracker Jacks or getting in a verbal altercation with the drunk guy in Section 118, but that's only because selfie creators, otherwise known as smartphones, haven't existed as long as Cracker Jacks or mean, drunk people!
That's not to mention another important fact: Baseball games can be mind-numbingly boring but taking selfies with friends at baseball games is always fun. Check out this selfie I recently took with two of my friends at a Staten Island Yankees game.
Who won? No idea. To be honest, it doesn't matter. What matters is I remember having fun with my friends. Thanks, Instagram!