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Maxwell Strachan
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Maxwell Strachan is a senior editor at The Huffington Post. He has worked on the sports, entertainment, technology and business sections. He has also worked at Salon, the Center for Governmental Studies and KCET.

Entries by Maxwell Strachan

This Choreographed 'What Do You Mean?' Segway Dance Changes Everything

(1) Comments | Posted October 2, 2015 | 2:32 PM

At some point on Oct. 1, 2015, someone somewhere uploaded a video to YouTube entitled, "What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber."

The question we need answered is this: Did whoever uploaded the video know, at that exact moment, that humanity as we now know it would never be the same?

"What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber" clocks in at two minutes and 50 seconds, but it's actually much longer than that, as it is impossible to watch the video without immediately going back to the start and watching it again.

The video features five male dancers riding Segways (or PhunkeeDucks or Hoverboards or whatever) in choreographed motion to create what is inarguably an Epic Segway Dance Cover of "What Do You Mean?" by Justin Bieber. It is, without a doubt, the greatest thing humanity has ever created. Sorry, cheeseburgers. 

Let us walk through some of the video's greatest moments, starting with our protagonist, who we will refer to from here on out as Robert.

Oh, you say texting while Segway-ing is dangerous? Robert couldn't care less what you think. He needs to meet up with The Boys ASAP.

Now, Robert doesn't meet up with his friends like you meet up with your friends. No, he does it in a way that is so much cooler than you, so much smoother. Oh, hi, guys. Didn't see you there. 

The thing you need to know about the five dancers who make up the "What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber" dance crew is that they are more in time with one another than the earth is with the moon, than the sun is with the planets. That all goes to say: they are really coordinated with one another. 

Let's take a moment and give credit where credit is due. It's not just the dancers who do great work in the YouTube video "What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber." It is also the camera people. This is some "Matrix"-level stuff.

Honestly, these guys are just really good at Segway-ing while incorporating dance moves into their lives. 

Oh, did you want to see how much more amazing that move got?

Then there is the stop. Man, is there the stop. Could watch these guys turn and stop all day, honestly. "Oh!" Robert seems to scream. That is the confidence of a man who knows he is better at what he does than anyone else on the planet, like Michael Jordan in the '90s.

But hey, you can't Segway while dancing forever. So at some point. it's time to say goodbye with an epic friend hold-slash-jump thing. All you can say is "Wow." Wow. 

Thank you, "What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber." Thank you. Somewhere, Justin Bieber is crying tears of joy. We certainly are. 


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The Selfie Girls Everyone Mocked Use Their Fame For Good

(5) Comments | Posted October 2, 2015 | 12:49 PM

The people of the Internet had a grand old time this week mercilessly making fun of a group of young ladies who were caught taking selfies and enjoying themselves at a Wednesday baseball game between the  Colorado Rockies and Arizona Diamondbacks.

The announcers themselves mocked the girls...

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A-Rod Has A Bit Of A Hard Time During Yankees Wild Card Party

(0) Comments | Posted October 2, 2015 | 8:53 AM

Honestly, champagne celebrations always seemed cold and uncomfortable to us too. Congratulations to A-Rod and the Yankees on their wild-card playoff berth.


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Aficionado falló ¡tres veces! al intentar quedarse con la pelota

(0) Comments | Posted October 1, 2015 | 5:23 PM

Si no lo logras a la primera, intenta otra vez y otra vez. Luego simplemente toma la bola por favor.

Un entusiasta seguidor de los Yanquis de Nueva York se fue 0-3, con un pelotazo en la cara y la burla de su acompañante, al tratar de conseguir una pelota...

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Poor MLB Announcers Fail To Realize Taking Selfies With Friends Is Super Fun

(0) Comments | Posted October 1, 2015 | 11:54 AM

The announcers of a recent game between the Colorado Rockies and Arizona Diamondbacks were absolutely miffed when they discovered a bunch of friends who were taking photos of themselves and having fun while at a Major League Baseball game. 

The friends can be seen in the above video taking photos, eating various snacks, laughing and generally having a great time instead of watching two teams who are combined 143-173 for the season play each other in a game of zero consequence.

Rather than commend the women for attending a game between two teams that have no hope of making the postseason, however, the announcers take to mocking their selfie-taking fun.

Some choice quotes:

- "Do you have to make faces when you take selfies?" 

- "'That's the best one of the 300 pictures I've taken of myself today.'" [Mocking voice]


- "'Hold on, gotta take a selfie with the hot dog, selfie with the churro, selfie just of the selfie.'" [Mocking voice]

- "Peralta knocks it into center. David tonight 2-2, a leadoff single here in the fourth, aaaand nobody noticed."

- "I can't even get my phone to take pictures."

- "You know the beauty of baseball is you can sit next to your neighbor and have a conversation, or you can just completely ignore them."

- "Can we do an intervention?"

Poor announcers, what they don't realize is that taking selfies at baseball games has become something of a baseball tradition. Sure, it's a tradition less time-honored than, say, Cracker Jacks or getting in a verbal altercation with the drunk guy in Section 118, but that's only because selfie creators, otherwise known as smartphones, haven't existed as long as Cracker Jacks or mean, drunk people!

That's not to mention another important fact: Baseball games can be mind-numbingly boring but taking selfies with friends at baseball games is always fun. Check out this selfie I recently took with two of my friends at a Staten Island Yankees game.

A photo posted by @maxwellstrachan on

Who won? No idea. To be honest, it doesn't matter. What matters is I remember having fun with my friends. Thanks, Instagram!


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My Revolutionary iPhone 4U Doesn't Turn On Unless Someone Contacts Me

(0) Comments | Posted September 30, 2015 | 1:11 PM

Ladies and gentlemen, we have stumbled upon something one-of-a-kind -- a new sort of iPhone for a new sort of person.  

Are you the type of person who enjoys human interaction but hates personal responsibility? Do you struggle with the true extent of your Internet addiction but understand the...

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Poor Yankees Fan Goes 0-3 For The Night With One Shot To The Face

(0) Comments | Posted September 30, 2015 | 8:43 AM

Enthusiastic Yankees Fan went 0-3 with one shot to the face and one Supportive Companion's face in her hands during the team's 10-4 loss to the Boston Red Sox on Tuesday. 

Enthusiastic Yankees Fan's first error came via a foul ball, which bounced off his hands, much to the quiet amusement of Supportive Companion.

 A bit later, a tricky hop got the better of Enthusiastic Yankees Fan. This time, Supportive Companion looked equally befuddled. 

Then finally, there was the shot to the face. Supportive Companion laughed and placed her face in her hands. He reached over to grab what was rightfully his. It was always going to end this way for Enthusiastic Yankees Fan.
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Rage Against The Machine Bassist Really Sorry About Limp Bizkit

(0) Comments | Posted September 29, 2015 | 2:37 PM

Rage Against The Machine has an odd legacy. The band has made some undeniably great songs and lays claim to a number of the most timeless albums of the 1990s. But man, did they inspire some shitty music or what? 

Remember nu metal? Yeah, that's their...

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Curt Schilling Is Heading Back To ESPN, Still Posting Anti-Muslim Filth

(3) Comments | Posted September 28, 2015 | 5:29 PM

And now, a brief history of Curt Schilling's last month or so.

1. Aug. 25 - ESPN baseball analyst Curt Schilling publishes and then deletes this tweet:

2. Aug. 25, a short while later - ESPN suspends Curt Schilling from Little League World Series coverage.

3. Aug. 25, a little bit...

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Nick Symmonds Says Olympic 'Thieves' Need To Start Paying Athletes

(0) Comments | Posted September 28, 2015 | 3:12 PM


USA Track & Field announced Monday that it has agreed to a new revenue distribution plan that will put an additional $9 million in the pockets of its athletes over the next five years.

The decision comes just...

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37 Years Ago, A Female Journalist Won The Right To Do Her Job

(0) Comments | Posted September 25, 2015 | 12:53 PM

On Sept. 25, 1978, a federal judge in New York ruled that the New York Yankees could no longer enforce an MLB policy that banned female reporters the locker rooms on the grounds that it gave an unfair advantage to their male peers and...

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Cutest Little Baseball Player Stops At First To Tell Dad He Loves Him

(0) Comments | Posted September 24, 2015 | 5:55 PM

Are you a parent? That's cool. Is your kid cuter than this kid? The kid who literally stopped at first base to tell his dad-slash-first base coach that he loved him? LOL, didn't think so. 


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Kanye West: 'Sweatshirts Are F**king Important'

(0) Comments | Posted September 24, 2015 | 11:20 AM

Kanye West, singer, producer, artist, designer, thought leader and future president, has lots of thoughts about lots of important things. But none of them, we now know, are more accurate and on point than his thoughts on sweatshirts. 

"Sweatshirts are fucking important," West told Dirk...

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This Hilarious Little Kid Must Be The Most Motivational Trainer On Earth

(0) Comments | Posted September 24, 2015 | 8:15 AM

Cancel your SoulCycle classes and cancel your gym membership. All you need to get in the best shape of your life is to watch this kid's motivational YouTube videos. Seriously, he is amazing. 

Who is the "The young Jamaican trainer," as the YouTube videos call him? We can't say with any certainty for now. He is a mystery in a way. But that's no reason to delay spreading his superior philosophy. And what is his philosophy? "Strength! Strength! No weakness!" It almost makes too much sense. 

The young Jamaican trainer's messages are simple -- "If you want to be muscle, you have to work out!" -- but the passion with which he promotes them is what has made him my newest life coach. He believes in working out more than you've ever believed in anything. 

He also clearly loves his friends and family and isn't afraid to give them praise when they deserve it. "Look at that," he says as he pulls the camera in. "Flex 'em. The muscle. See that the six pack -- that's what we call a six pack."

At this point I thought to myself, "Yeah, if that little kid can have a six-pack, why can't I?" I then took another bite of my doughnut. 

Muscle is what young Jamaican trainer loves, and that is why we love the young Jamaican trainer. Life, happiness, passion, purpose -- it's all based around muscle. He has a purpose in and passion for life. Teach us, young Jamaican trainer.

Oh, and this other kid is cool, too. 


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Attorney For Patrick Kane's Accuser Says Rape Kit Tampered With

(1) Comments | Posted September 23, 2015 | 9:36 AM

The attorney representing the accuser of Chicago Blackhawk's Patrick Kane said in a press conference on Wednesday that the woman's rape kit had been tampered with.

The attorney, Thomas Eoannou, said that the rape kit was anonymously delivered to the front door of the accuser's mother's house on Tuesday, ripped open. 

This is no hoax,” Eaonnou reportedly said, according to the Chicago Sun-Times.

Police are investigating accusations that Kane sexually assaulted the woman on Aug. 2 in Hamburg, New York. Kane has not been charged with a crime. The Buffalo News reported over the weekend that the rape kit provided no evidence of Kane's DNA on the accuser's genital area nor undergarments. 

 From Eoannou's prepared statement, via Uproxx:

With concerns of the integrity of that evidence, on Tuesday, the rape kit was anonymously delivered to [the accuser’s] mother. It contains my client’s identity, birth date, location where it was done, and confirms the nurse’s initials who [administered the kit]. As you can see from the pictures, this evidence bag has been ripped open. The purpose of the evidence bag is to protect the items from tampering. In my 30 years plus in law, I have never seen an evidence bag outside of a police lab. On behalf of my client, I am requesting an independent investigation from a separate law-enforcement agency.

Eoannou reportedly asked that the FBI or state police be called in to help to lead an independent investigation. Hamburg Police have since issued a statement that said the department would "cooperate with any authorized investigation regarding the handling of evidence and the procedure of such," but that it has "documentation that unequivocally demonstrates" the department acted in accordance  with standard procedure. 

Following the allegations of tampering, Kane's attorney, Paul Cambria, held a press conference in which he said his team has no reason to alter evidence, but that someone else might. 

“The only one who might have an incentive to have the evidence questioned would be someone who is not pleased with the results," he said in part. "We are pleased with the results."


Need help? In the U.S., visit the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline operated by RAINN. For more resources, visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center's website.

CORRECTION: A previous version of this post incorrectly stated that Kane has been charged with a crime. Authorities are still investigating the...

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GoFundMe Unwilling To Help Break Up Ciara And Russell Wilson

(0) Comments | Posted September 22, 2015 | 4:57 PM

The Seattle Seahawks are 0-2 and fans are starting to freak out, so much so that someone set up a GoFundMe account to try to get star quarterback Russell Wilson and his girlfriend, the lovely Ciara, to break it off.  

According to For The Win,...

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Floyd Mayweather On Nick Diaz: 'Let That Man Smoke Weed’

(0) Comments | Posted September 22, 2015 | 10:41 AM

The highly flawed but unambiguously influential Floyd Mayweather Jr. isn’t fighting anymore, but that doesn’t mean he has gone away for good. Mostly that's inevitably going to be for the worse. But this week, it wasn't such a bad thing. 

Mayweather’s uncle Jeff asked the five-division champion in a video posted Monday what he thought about UFC fighter Nick Diaz receiving a five-year suspension last week for testing positive for marijuana for a third time. 

“Huh?” Mayweather responded. “Man, let that man smoke weed [and] enjoy his life."

The decision has led to intense criticism of the seemingly arbitrary manner in which the Nevada State Athletic Commission doles out punishments, including from the UFC's most popular fighter: Ronda Rousey.

It took a while, but it looks like Mayweather and Rousey have finally found something the two of them can agree on.


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뉴욕 지하철의 쥐가 피자를 물고 고된 퇴근길을 간다(동영상)

(0) Comments | Posted September 22, 2015 | 1:21 AM

뉴욕 지하철 생태계의 숨은 축(...)을 담당하는 쥐가 굉장한 의지력을 보이는 장면이 영상으로 기록됐다. 21일 맷 리틀이 지하철 플랫폼으로 내려가는 계단에서 만난 쥐는 자기 몸보다 큰 피자 조각을 물고 끌고 집으로 향한다.

사람을 의식했는지 쥐는 잠시 피자를 내려놓지만, 끝끝내 피자에서 시선을 떼지 않는다. 왠지 쥐를 자꾸 응원하게 되는 영상이다....

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New York Pizza Rat Is The Perfect Metaphor For Something, Surely

(0) Comments | Posted September 21, 2015 | 3:40 PM

Oh, what's that? The first rule of New York is "Don't eat hot food on the subway platform"? Pizza Rat doesn't give a flying f**k about your rules. He'll eat his pizza where he damn well pleases. 

Pizza Rat is the perfect metaphor for life in New York: He is hungry, he loves dollar pizza, he hates his life and he is trying to carry something that is way too heavy down the subway stairs because the elevator is broken. It's almost too perfect. 

Pizza Rat is determined, sure. But in New York, is that enough? Of course not. So, as we all have countless times, Pizza Rat eventually gives up and walks away from the task at hand, presumably to a dive bar that will soon be replaced by yet another Chase bank or something. 

The video was uploaded by YouTube user Matt Little on Monday. Devastatingly, a request for comment about this important news was not immediately returned. 


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Yet Another NHL Enforcer Appears To Have Died By Suicide

(0) Comments | Posted September 21, 2015 | 10:54 AM

Police have decided to classify the death of former NHL enforcer Todd Ewen over the weekend as a suicide, the St. Louis County Police Department confirmed to The Huffington Post on Monday. The 49-year-old, who had a history of depression, died Saturday from what authorities say was...

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