Ralph Nader, the consumer advocate and consummate presidential-vote splitter, has written another book. The 700-plus page manuscript, entitled Only the Super-Rich Can Save Us!, is a work of fiction that features real-life people, such as Barry Diller and Yoko Ono, saving America by following Nader's ideals. Journalists are calling the...

Hello Americans!

The spiritual center of the universe here. I'm just reaching out across countless galaxies, through burning stars and endlessly dark black holes, to tell you to STFU about Michael Jackson. Oh, don't make that face and proceed to perform a stiff-lipped, defiant "Thriller" dance in my direction (which,...

The stimulus package is going to fail. That's an ugly, terrifying fact. You might be wondering: "How do you know this, Meg? How is it that you can predict the outcome of the stimulus more accurately than the hypothetical love child of Ben Bernanke and Suze Orman? Is it your...

EXT - THE ISLAND - DAY

BARACK OBAMA, HURLEY, and CLAIRE are running through the jungle. All are sweating, out of breath, and wide-eyed. Obama leads the group, determined.

OBAMA: Come on!

The group crashes through the trees and brush, frantic. Finally, we see what is chasing them: the smoke...

On the eve of an election so important that it will physically force the Hale-Bopp comet to once again pass by the Earth, I worry about the information people will have when they go to the polls. This campaign season, there has been too much misdirection and not enough facts....

John Steinbeck's classic novel updated for a new America.

America: 2008. On the brink of a national recession, the Joad family loses its six-bedroom home to foreclosure. Heartbroken at the thought of moving into a house that would have only one guestroom, Pa Joad takes his family across the country...

Recently, presidential candidate Ron Paul dropped out of the race, disappointing many libertarians. But what's even sadder to me is the grounding of another libertarian candidate, one who stood for everything Dr. Paul did...and yet always flew higher. I am, of course, talking about the Ron Paul...

Dear Senator Obama,

Congratulations on becoming the democratic nominee for the 2008 presidential election! Now you face the daunting task of picking the perfect running mate. It's a difficult decision, one that could polarize your supporters and ultimately lose you the election. That's why I'd like to take this moment...

Between skyrocketing ticket costs and security woes, air travel is becoming more and more of a hassle. But don't get nostalgic for the simple days of horse-and-buggy yet! I've gathered some great tips to make your next trip to the airport smooth and hassle-free.

Liquids: For travelers who are too...

Similar to every American company trying to turn around its public appearance, I care about global warming. I've put in compact fluorescent bulbs, brought reusable bags to the grocery store, and tried to find cow chips to replace my gas heat. These steps are a start, but I don't think...

Supreme Advice answers your problems with actual quotes from past and current Supreme Court Justices.

Dear Justices,

A few weeks ago I told my boyfriend that I had a hysterectomy. Now I'm worried he might break up with me because I think he wanted to have kids. I'm really...

In the city where I live, there are two disgusting museums: one where patrons can look at diseased faces in jars, and another where the brave can stare at scorpions, spiders, and a kitchen chock-full of cockroaches. The existence of these museums proves that humans love getting close to things...

Interior: A restaurant.

Meg: Linda, it's really great to see you. And you have a daughter now, my goodness. It's been so long!

Linda, the superdelegate: I know, four years! We have so much to catch up on!

Waitress: What'll you have?

Linda (pointing to her daughter): She'll have the...

The Audacity of Lies: Obama Hiding Secret of Heritage

Barack Obama claims he's a proponent for women's rights. His website says, "He has been a consistent champion of reproductive choice." But few have bothered to ask why Obama cares about reproductive rights. After all, he isn't a woman...right?

"When Barack...

Jeremy Herron, an AP business writer, reported last week that Britney Spears' antics are generating a Spears-based sub-economy. "In the days after the Britney Spears soap opera rode a police-escorted gurney to its apex," Herron wrote, "celeb-mag sales spiked, traffic jammed gossip Web sites, tabloid TV ratings rose...

Dear President Bush,

Since you only have a year left in office, I know you're making an effort to leave a positive legacy. You want to be remembered as "Mideast Peace Broker" and "Refund-Check Giver," not as an unpopular, war-headed mispronouncer of words. To help aid you in your quest,...

Economists have predicted a recession here in America, and some people are even talking about the possibility of a full stock market crash. Uh-oh! That means now is the perfect time for you to start saving money. But with today's credit-card-happy economy, many people don't know how to stop spending...

If Britney Spears knocked on your door right now, dressed in a midriff-bearing top and holding her children upside down, and said, "'Scuse me, ya'll. You got any of them poppable pills?" would you indulge her?

No. Or at least I hope you wouldn't.

So why are we letting New...