Women Perfectionists: You Don't Need To Be Ashamed Of Doing This Anymore

Back in the days when people read paper, women I knew in college used to tear out Glamour magazine's monthly "Hey, it's OK..." feature and tape it to their dormitory dry erase boards. The thing is, I never bothered to put up said board and only occasionally related to what qualified as okay -- though I definitely appreciated that the editors excused my chipped nail polish. But what about my other problems?

 Is it okay to run so awkwardly on the treadmill that fellow gym goers choose not to run next to you? Peanut butter and jelly smoothies made while on Ambien, okay or no?

About a year ago, I started casually noting my more questionable choices, just in case I ever wanted to fix them. Each day a new one popped up like a tragic female-themed Snapple fact. And as the list grew, I realized something: Some of these things are not okay and never will be (see the aforementioned smoothies), but many others aren't really that terrible -- I just decided at some point that they were. I also noticed that those, for some reason, are the ones I berate myself for the most. I suspect (although I have no actual confirmation -- yet) that I'm not alone in this. So I've decided to come clean. Let it all hang out. Here are 10 things I'm not going to be ashamed of anymore -- and you shouldn't either.

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Comments

[Sam94122]

05:02 PM on 03/15/2012

Amen.
The 10 "mommy crimes I refuse to feel bad about.
http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/03152012-10-mom-crimes-i-forgive-myself-for/

[listgirl3]

01:38 PM on 03/15/2012

I think that when it comes to things that effect ourselves, why do we have to please society - accept me as I am society. If you don't like it, you can get out ;) If I do the things that make me more socially acceptable first, and the things that make me acceptable to me second....my priorities are screwed up.

[mmiret]

09:00 AM on 03/15/2012

We women are so hard on ourselves. We are our wrost enemy. We need to be kind to ourselves and understand that no one is perfect not even those Victoria Secret Models.

[kf1984]

04:46 PM on 03/14/2012

This article is a gem and I agree with it a million percent and I love agreeing.

[CiCi Reagan]

11:27 AM on 03/14/2012

i have not bought a single article of clothing in a year or more. i berate myself over buying on-brand cleaning products or running the fan in the bathroom all night accidentally. I now feel much better about myself.

[orangerx]

08:04 PM on 03/13/2012

A whole box of cereal? Really?

[AustinG]

03:53 PM on 03/13/2012

Lots of yikes stuff here with a few things that are certainly ok. Though most of it depends on degrees. Though seriously having a good story on how you met your husband/boyfriend is important? Call me crazy, but most of the important stuff happens after that.

[2crudedudes]

01:02 PM on 03/13/2012

So basically: shun responsibility. Very mature.

[MarcEdward]

10:59 AM on 03/13/2012

Being able to say no to wasting money isn't a luxury, it's a necessity. What kind of man wants to be with a woman who's going to spend them into major credit card debt? The basic discipline to control your spending is what I try to teach my children (and I have), it's hard to respect any adult that cannot handle it.

[Palaver]

11:12 PM on 03/12/2012

Asians have embraced online dating more enthusiastically than Americans. I think Americans are put off by the formality of being upfront about the desire for relationships (hyper-individualism?). Or perhaps Americans eschew market forces when seeking long term partners (internal locus of control)? Their ideals follow those of the media's serendipitous comedies. However, didn't this ideal triumph in the America's cultural market?

[NKNK]

04:38 PM on 03/13/2012

I'm thinking that Asians in general may be more aware that love in a choice, a decision, and Americans still subscribe more to the myth of love happening to them. Although I, personally, think that the decision is a lot easier to stick with if the "chemistry" and attraction is there. I'm married, but if I wasn't, I'd probably still want to see people in-person before anything else transpires.

[GenesisWorld]

05:26 PM on 03/13/2012

Because Asians are more alike, or virtually alike, it's easier for them to succeed in on line dating.

[FlowerGypsy]

10:51 PM on 03/12/2012

I actually really appreciated this article, there a few things in here that I've been insecure about doing but now I feel fine about it.

[2crudedudes]

01:06 PM on 03/13/2012

Some of these things that are "okay" are actually not. Buyer beware.

[FlowerGypsy]

04:06 PM on 03/13/2012

such as...?

[acrossthewalls]

08:51 PM on 03/12/2012

"Like everyone who isn't insanely rich, I wish I could effectively budget money. .... But I also don't want to get to the place where I find no joy at all in buying and wearing something I love."

If you think effective budgeting means not enjoying the things you purchase and use you're doing it wrong. When you're budgeting with a motivating goal in mind, you enjoy the things you do splurge on even more because you haven't desensitized yourself to that joy by overindulging your spending habit.

[Jewels99]

10:02 PM on 03/12/2012

Budgeting habits is something you have to learn for yourself. When you don't have to worry about the bills piling up having debt is not a big deal, but when the worry takes over, the purchases lose value (except for the shopaholics which have different motivations) as there are few things worth the worry of not being able to pay your bills - exception is medical care. Also when bigger purchase things start becoming a priority like buying a house, the budgeting feels good b/c you have a goal to work towards.

[Mochilero]

08:46 PM on 03/12/2012

Let's get to some real things other than this facetious and somewhat sexist list. Women should not be ashamed of enjoying responsible lovemaking with more than one partner. Men tend to brag about it. Women should not be ashamed of their own body hair (hairy legs are pleasant to the touch) nor their own natural odors. Women should not be ashamed if their bones don't stick out from their skin. Many of us men appreciate a bit of flesh to hold on to. And these three are just a good start.

[cuteliberalchick]

12:53 AM on 03/13/2012

I love my curves

[FarmerBee]

08:17 PM on 03/12/2012

You could have summed it up into two items: being shallow and being dumb.

I'm female. I don't need people thinking I'm this lame or this insecure.

[MarcEdward]

11:00 AM on 03/13/2012

Female Writers often make women look bad.

[Rick Eriksen]

07:56 PM on 03/12/2012

N I P P L E S...and the other good stuff...we like them...do not hide them...and who said they had to be hid in the first place...things I want to know...

[cuteliberalchick]

12:54 AM on 03/13/2012

Nipples are for "babies" love them though.