I came across an article in The Daily Beast the other morning entitled ""America the Angry"." In it, political consultant Douglas Schoen discusses the findings of a recent Newsweek/Daily Beast poll revealing that the vast majority of Americans are in a bad mood.
As unemployment, gas and grocery prices are on the rise, so are people's levels of anger, anxiety and frustration. Three-quarters of those surveyed blamed the government and a lousy economy for their relationship problems, sleep loss and low sex drives. Two-thirds said they were "angry at God."
Sure, times are tough relative to the recent economic boom. Still I couldn't help but think, "What a waste!" All that energy people are churning and burning, when they could be channeling it into creating positive change in the world.
Here are my 3 steps for transforming anger into action:
Acknowledge and give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling.
There was a time in my life when, deeply immersed in Buddhist texts as I was, I sought equanimity. I imagined that attaining this desirable state of "detachment from one's emotions" meant not allowing myself to fully experience my feelings. Whenever an event left me sad or angry, I would push it aside, telling myself to "get over it." Then I'd busy myself with distractions, diving into work or going out for a night of partying with friends.
The problem with this approach was that later, the unresolved emotion would leap out of my heart and grab hold of me by the throat like a cornered alley cat. I'd lash out impatiently at the Starbucks barista when finding they were out honey for my tea. I'd yell at my partner for making a mildly critical remark.
Over the years, I've come to understand Buddhism and psychology better (especially thanks to fantastic recent work on self-compassion), and I've developed a new interpretation of equanimity. I now honor an emotion as it arises. I view it as an opportunity for self-knowledge. I consider, "What do I have to learn from this experience?"
This is a critical lesson in living the Life Out Loud: Don't shove your emotions under the carpet with yesterday's cookie crumbs. They are part of the human condition. Appreciate that your body is sending you a message, and give yourself permission to listen in for a while without judgment.
I recommend doing this during a meditation session. Simply allow whatever needs to come up to arise. Let yourself get outraged. Feel the heat flush your skin. If you need to yell, scream or punch your meditation pillow--do it. I've even been known to shout, "What the hell, Universe?!"
Breathe and begin to let go of your anger.
It's important, however, not to stew in your feelings ad nauseum. Once you've felt them for a while, start breathing and letting the anger, frustration and anxiety go. I learned from my 10-day silent Vipassana meditation retreat the powerful mantra, "This too shall pass," which I frequently recite as I sit on my meditation cushion.
This calls to mind the Native American proverb about the wise man telling his grandson that he has two wolves battling inside of him: one a positive force of compassion and love, another filled with anger, hatred and blame.
"Which one wins?" the boy asks.
"The one you feed," his elder answers.
Anger can prove particularly dangerous if you allow it to grow inside you. When fed and fostered, it becomes rage. In the worst-case scenarios, such negative energy fuels terrorist acts, school shootings and domestic violence. But even in the best cases, it eats away at our insides, often with negative physical as well as psychological consequences.
Reading the results of that Newsweek/Daily Beast poll made me wonder, are we Americans feeding the wrong wolf by nurturing our anger? By laying blame for our anxiety and frustration on politicians rather than taking responsibility for our own happiness?
It seems the answer is yes. And in so doing, we are only damaging ourselves: losing sleep, forgoing sex, and missing out on the precious micro-moments of joy in our lives.
Re-focus your anger onto taking action.
What if, instead of feeding the destructive wolf, we made a conscious effort to feed the creative wolf by channeling our anger into action? It is righteous indignation, after all, that gave Rosa Parks the courage to refuse to give up her seat in the front of the bus; that spurred Gandhi to lead his country to freedom; that has inspired many everyday heroes to build non-profits and socially responsible businesses.
Take my friend Nyla Rodgers, for example. She channeled her immense grief at the loss of her mother to cancer into an insatiable desire to be of service to others. When she observed many NGOs dispensing aid in disempowering ways, she harnessed her frustration to create Mama Hope. Her organization funds projects that people on the ground in Africa say their communities most need. Mama Hope then trains the locals to run the show--and collect the proceeds of their efforts.
So the next time you find yourself getting angry or frustrated by your life circumstances, ask yourself, "What can I do about this situation?"
For example, you may not be able to woo your ex back after a bad break up, but perhaps your experience made you realize how much you give your power away when in relationship. Perhaps you might start volunteering at a women's shelter. Or if you're furious about your inability to find employment, perhaps you might campaign for a politician whose values you believe in, or build a program to assist mothers returning to the workforce in finding jobs. Upset about the ongoing war in Afghanistan? Maybe you can offer your skills to veterans.
Rather than stewing in negativity and making yourself and those around you miserable, feel your fury as a fire in your belly that's propelling you into action. Make a difference. Then share your story, and inspire others to do the same.
Follow MeiMei Fox on Twitter: www.twitter.com/meimeifox
Big mistake.
By that logic, if one gets into a lot of car accidents then they should teach at a driving school.
But that's an awful lot of nothing...
(nothing => Pure Consciousness)
They were the ones who sat back and allowed Corporations to take over our Government in the 1960's and 70's.
So now we have to take it back !!!!!
So yea, I get angry often. I don't like that world at all and do what I can to not perpetuate it, but it is exhausting and frustrating and down right sad 6 and a half days out of 7.
More and more people are awakening to what is going on ... hold faith and be the beacon of light in their lives that assists them lovingly to expansion of their own minds and heart. They won't know what it is about you that is so special, but nevertheless, they awaken even more being in your presence. Peace building - it's all about coming together in unity to care for one another and our planet. Find or create your community, or just keep talking and they will come.
Some will tell you that they're all the same, and you're to blame if you even feel any of them, and use that as an excuse to demand more docility in the face of oppression..... We need not be *docile,* but we must pay attention. Particularly in terms of not confusing talk and feelings with *facts* or good analysis. People who bully and oppress count on you losing those distinctions, losing focus and self-governance, and then using it as an excuse to make their rule of fear and hatred 'law.'
They'd have you trained to punish yourself and deny your emotions, until perhaps you lash out and scare someone, and the process repeats.
People have a right to be angry, but we also have a right to *think* and not become what you get when anger stands still. That's what 'hate' is.... The poison inside you get when there's Anger you don't breathe.
I will leave you with this. No one has trained me to do anything. I appreciate your sentiments, I agree with most but, in that area, you have me confused with some whole other being.
We just seem to focus on minor things and let them eat at us until they become a monstrous...most things aren't worth the effort to lose it over.
Conviction expressed is a tyrant's.
This was a powerhouse of an article to remind me and all of us of how to fuel that anger and know that it's okay to have it.
I especially loved those in history that used their anger but channeled it into service to change or do something better.
We all have a Big Bad Wolf, but we have to decide how he'll blow that hot air off preferably in a way that won't destroy our inner house or the houses made of straw, or sticks.
You are right though, it is a simplistic mantra. If you aren't ticked off right now, then you are not paying attention. I am all for finding happiness where it occurs, but I don't have to turn my brain off to accomplish that.
What works for you: Dan Slander, Carroll27?
Let it flow. Be with it, go through the anger, pain, sadness ... and let it wash through you. Let the tears that well up wash through the feelings stuffed within. What really matters in our world? The two most asked questions of Hospice caretakers of those on their deathbeds - Am I loved? Have I loved well?
Gestalt Therapy with your fear by giving fear a voice ... what is the worst thing that can happen to me? Allow it to answer. For me, when I was immobilized in fear some time ago, it answered ... they can't take my breath away ... they can't take my children away. In that moment, the fear lifted and so much love flooded through and cleansed me. Then I began to laugh when I realized how hard I was on myself.
Love ...
Your statement asserts that not too many humans are capable of that; Gandhi was one of them, Jesus another. Very high standards for most humans to achieve.
I appreciate the reminder that I, too, can turn frustration and anger into action - it's a choice, and one worth making. Thanks again!
Again, thanks your wonderful post, as well as your beautiful words of affirmation - they benefit all of us!