Melanie Chartoff
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Melanie Chartoff is an actress ("Desperate Housewives," "Seinfeld," "Rugrats," "Fridays" "Parker Lewis Can't Lose) and humor columnist (Jewlarious, One for the Table) residing in Los Angeles.

Blog Entries by Melanie Chartoff

Spine-tingling"Spiderman"--for All the Wrong Reasons

Posted January 4, 2011 | 21:04:18 (EST)

As "Spiderman" the Spectacle careens toward its opening, despite costly delays, a cacophony of controversies, serious human and technical mishaps and injuries, it looks likely to be a critic proof hit, in terms of paying off its producers and insurance premiums. Perhaps the endangerment or public death of some "Spiderpeople"...

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Will U B My Good Enough Valentine?

Posted February 4, 2010 | 18:46:56 (EST)

I had this friend J.J. (not her real initials). With her biological clock on alarm, this publisher, a pillar of her community, fell madly in love with the man of her dreams: tall, dark, handsome, smart, successful, loved kids...in fact, he was married and had three of them.

For...

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Kindle Your Kids?

Posted January 18, 2010 | 19:29:50 (EST)

My fondest memories of childhood are of Aunt Vivian, my very first audiobook, reading to me from the Golden Book of the Bible when I was three.

Immersed in her ample lap, her adoring voice broadcasting stereophonically through her bosoms, I absorbed the sensationalistic stories and lush illustrations of baby...

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Dreidel Mania

Posted December 14, 2009 | 14:37:43 (EST)

The rate of change on our spinning Earth these days is dizzying. Amazing advances render familiar things obsolete and replace them with new concepts so quickly that Mr. Webster can hardly keep up with michiginah slang suddenly made kosher by common coinage.

And we start indoctrinating our too precocious kindelach...

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A Latke Lament

Posted December 9, 2009 | 16:12:18 (EST)

As a child, I was reared near the Lender family, heirs to the bagel empire spawned in my hometown, New Haven, Connecticut. Not satisfied with the a$toni$hing $ucce$$ of their local bakeries, the wonders of their split level ranch home, its iron jockeys with actual horses, their bagel shaped pool,...

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We Shot A Moose - Recipe for Sarah's Stew

Posted October 29, 2009 | 14:46:47 (EST)

To you this may just be a hearty, jaw-strengthening meal, but to Todd and me it had all the makings of our great romance, with dessert showing up not quite nine months later.

We met at Alaska Secession War Dance Bingo and Todd asked me out. When he took...

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