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Melissa Bartick

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What Kind of Baby Doll Do You Think You Are, Anyway?

Posted: 04/05/11 12:55 PM ET

The controversy over the Berjuan nursing doll underscores that Americans still have a long way to go to accept breastfeeding as normal. If little Maggie wants to play with her baby doll, she will want to feed it somehow, won't she? Traditionally, baby dolls come with little toy baby bottles. But what makes feeding your baby doll with a toy bottle OK, and breastfeeding your doll not OK?

The toy bottles do not send a neutral message, after all. They send the wrong message -- that bottle feeding is normal and desired, at a time public health advocates and major medical organizations and our own Surgeon General are trying to convey the message that breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby, and that not doing so incurs multiple increased health risks to children and their mothers alike. We face an epidemic of childhood obesity, so why is it OK for young girls to feed their dolls a food that is linked with higher rates of all kinds of health problems?

Critics worry that it's inappropriate for young girls to pretend to breastfeed, that it calls attention to their -- gasp -- breasts. But anyone who has spent time around young kids and their environs knows that it's fortunately very common for young girls to see women breastfeeding. Go to any park or playground in much of the United States, and chances are you will see women breastfeeding. Have a younger sibling? Chances are, you will see your own mother breastfeeding.

Although it's natural, breastfeeding is a learned skill both for mother and baby. Female chimpanzees who grow up in isolation find they don't know how to feed or care for their infants after they give birth, as evidenced in the recent tragic case of baby Nori at the in North Carolina Zoo, who had be removed from her mother and "hand-reared" because the mother chimp didn't know how to nurse or hold her -- even though the baby chimp nursed well when her mother was anesthetized. Indeed lack of breastfeeding role models is one of the many obstacles that new mothers face in this country which booby-traps their success. It's one reason that just 22% of infants in the US are breastfeeding at one year, despite the universal medical recommendation to do so.

Children's toys, after all, reflect our cultural norms in many ways. Years ago, that cultural norm was bottle-feeding. Now, seventy-five percent of mothers initiate breastfeeding, although many quickly give up in the first few weeks. Unless little Maggie is planning to let her dolly go hungry, she's going to want to do what the grown-up moms do, and nurse her baby.

Let's let our little girls nurse their dollies. It's OK that they realize that one day, they will have breasts to nurture their own babies. And please, let the toy baby bottles go the way of 8-track tapes and black-and-white TVs.

This blog comes from MomsRising.org and CustomFitWorkplace.org. Each week it presents innovative ideas to strengthen 21st Century American families through public policies, business and workplace practices, and cultural change.

 
The controversy over the Berjuan nursing doll underscores that Americans still have a long way to go to accept breastfeeding as normal. If little Maggie wants to play with her baby doll, she will want...
The controversy over the Berjuan nursing doll underscores that Americans still have a long way to go to accept breastfeeding as normal. If little Maggie wants to play with her baby doll, she will want...
 
 
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11:45 PM on 04/10/2011
I've had two different women breast feed their babies in two different attorney-client interviews. Didn't bother me at all. I always figured that's what women's breasts are for --- feeding babies.

There was a young woman who used to sit in front of us at UCLA football games at the Rose Bowl. She breast feed her baby girl during the games. No one gave it a second thought. I still have fond memories of her adorable daughter.
02:27 PM on 04/07/2011
Excellent post! Whether people like the details of The Breast Milk Baby Doll or not, it is good for little girls to pretend to nurse their dolls. They can do this with any baby doll or by purchasing a doll that specifically encourages nursing. Toy baby bottles that come with baby dolls reflect the U.S. in the 1970's not 2011. Many women have unnecessary discomfort when breastfeeding b/c they hold the baby like they would if they were bottle feeding. The fact that people have a problem with the breast milk doll shows that the American public needs to learn to appreciate the FUNCTION of the breast. Women have breasts so they can feed babies. Breastfeeding is not sexual. Breastfeeding is functional, smart, economical, & healthy.

"One of the most highly effective preventive measures a mother can take to protect the health of her infant and herself is to breastfeed. The decision to breastfeed is a personal one, and a mother should NOT be made to feel guilty if she cannot or chooses not to breastfeed. The success rate among mothers who want to breastfeed can be greatly improved through active support. Given the importance of breastfeeding for the health and well-being of mothers and children, it is critical that we take action across the country to support breastfeeding." - Quote from the executive summary at www.surgeongeneral.gov
10:52 AM on 04/07/2011
I'm totally ok with kids breastfeeding their dolls, but I think this one is ridiculous. At 3 and 2 my girls have always breastfed their dollies without any encouragement of any kind because they've been exposed to nursing. They hike up their little shirt and breastfeed like I and the other mama's they know do. I think the bra-top that goes with this doll is silly... little girls (and boys) come equipped with their own nipples and don't need flower stickers to substitute. I think this doll furthers the notion that breastfeeding in public should be taboo. Now not only is it not ok for a mom with breasts to lift up her shirt and nurse, it's apparently not even ok for a child that doesn't even HAVE breasts yet. If you feel your child needs more exposure to breastfeeding to normalize it, make a point to have them around and point out breastfeeding moms so that it IS normal! If someone wants to make a doll that skips the baby bottle and promotes breastfeeding, why not include a mini-nursing pillow or just put pictures on the box of children nursing the doll the way they do with bottle fed dollies?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Dana Nicole
Geaux Saints!
10:12 AM on 04/07/2011
I know breast-feeding is best, and I tried as best I could, but seriously, women who use formula on their babies are not the Anti-Christ in a skirt. Stop lording your personal decisions over people already!
06:25 PM on 04/06/2011
Love this doll http://thebreastmilkbaby.com/contest/ambersmumma
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Comeplayinmyreality
enter at your own risk
02:35 PM on 04/06/2011
I didnt breastfeed my boys and my mother didnt breastfeed her 4 kids, I think its more a personal choice and not one that should be forced upon us. I remember as a little girl playing with my dolls it never occured to me to breastfeed my toy until i saw another little girl doing it, of course I thought she was weird. I had friends of mine give me "the look" when I mentioned not breastfeeding, but like I said it was my choice and my boys are healthy and happy.
10:44 AM on 04/07/2011
You can do whatever you want (and no one is forcing you to breastfeed) as long as you don't pull the BS that breastfeeding is not infinitely superior with long-range benefits. Your boys are healthy and happy, but they didn't get the immunities and superior nutrition that often creates additional IQ points in those that do. You chose that for them for whatever reason, but don't act like your choice was equally beneficial.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Comeplayinmyreality
enter at your own risk
11:14 AM on 04/07/2011
if you want to talk about IQ point then I shall, both of my boys are very intelligent having been tested at 145 and 148, my 14 year old is in his junior year and my 12 year is in 8th grade, so I'm just saying that the breast is not always the best for everyone. Sure it may help other children with whatever they are lacking but it didn't harm my boys in any way. I would also like to add that both were vaccinated and didnt get any minor/major illnesses so formula work just fine and they are thriving.
04:50 AM on 04/06/2011
this site has real good reviews on baby toys.. i will recommend this to a lot of my friends. :) good job.
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01:55 AM on 04/06/2011
All my children have reached adulthood (even though spending some years as teenagers). AND they were breastfed.

Bottlefed dolls? - I distinctly remember decapitating all of mine.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
peegan
Silence like a cancer grows...S/G.
12:15 AM on 04/06/2011
Neither my 4 year old daughter or my 2 year old son (yes son) needs a special doll to pretend to nurse their baby dolls (and yes, my son has a baby doll). They've seen me nurse their sister, they imitate me. That's how children learn. Now if I could just get my daughter to understand that while she will grow breasts, she won't grow a penis and to get my son to quit telling people mommies penis fell off. I could just throttle my husband for that one.
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justkeepswimming
11:52 PM on 04/05/2011
Oh please. My mother breastfed me, then breastfed my little brother in front of me. I played with dolls that had bottles, and went on to breastfeed two kids for a total of over 3 years. Sometimes a baby doll is just a baby doll.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Aitch5
Scintillating
09:18 PM on 04/05/2011
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-L-Fg7lWgQ&feature=related

Vintage Sesame Street
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
propitiousmoment
the journey is the destination....
08:06 PM on 04/05/2011
Anyway, this is just another way we denigrate women - we denigrate them for having a menstrual cycle, we denigrate them for breastfeeding, we denigrate them for being strong and assertive, we denigrate them for being emotional, we denigrate them for working whether they want to or not, we denigrate professions that are female-dominated (and pay them less), we blame rape on the victim because she might have displayed some sexuality, we denigrate women who take charge of their own sexuality. So we denigrate breastfeeding, it's just another in a long line of ways to make women feel less-than.
04:07 PM on 04/07/2011
We denigrate them by assuming they're any more 'emotional' and bringing them up that way, too. Just throwing it out there.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
propitiousmoment
the journey is the destination....
08:01 PM on 04/05/2011
My daughter nursed both of her children. One day her little girl was playing with dolls, came running through the house with her "baby", pulling her shirt up, yelling "teetee, teetee" - her baby was hungry and she was going to feed it. One of my favorite images, which I didn't get to see because we live in different states. There is nothing wrong with small children witnessing breastfeeding, it's not traumatic to them unless it is traumatic to the adults in the room, and they won't remember it as they get older anyway, unless they're already 4 or 5 when they see it. And even then, big deal. We have to learn about it sometime, right?
07:04 PM on 04/05/2011
I have no problem with little girls (or little boys, for that matter) "nursing" their dolls. In fact, Melissa points out in her article it's quite normal and common for children to do so. My objection (and question) is to the way this doll is being marketed. Why do adults feel they have to dictate to children the way to play? Play allows children to "try on" many roles. Can't we just give them a doll, and trust them? Why does the doll have to come with props like a bottle or a shirt that shows children exactly where to place the doll in order to "properly" nurse? Why should a toy company, or any adult push an agenda in terms of a child's play?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Freedom Rush
freedom is the oxygen of the soul
09:01 PM on 04/05/2011
Thank you for helping me sort out my own feelings on the matter. It is the marketing that is creepy not the fact that a child wants to emulate mommy. Thanks Lisa.
12:11 AM on 04/06/2011
Good post. Any girl can pretend to nurse any doll. This doll is being marketed to make a point for the marketeers.
06:24 PM on 04/05/2011
i'll admit, i'm still a bit uncomfortable at the thought of this. this post has made me rethink things a bit. i breastfed my now 5yo daughter. i will breastfeed my baby due in july. my 5yo will see me breastfeeding her baby sister. shouldn't she be allowed to pretend to feed her baby doll just like she will see me feeding the baby? it's breastfeeding, not porn.