THE BLOG
06/27/2013 03:53 pm ET Updated Aug 27, 2013

Women's Bathroom Etiquette

Mother Nature's Call.

You hope it comes in the comfort of your own home, ideally before heading to work. However, there are times your body betrays you and you realize during a meeting that you have to use the public facilities to, as we said in pre-school, "go #2."

I can't speak for men. I imagine it is clear to everyone in the men's room the purpose for the visit since a guy is either sitting or standing. But for women, who have to sit for everything, our purpose is less than clear to the other visitors.

Regardless of our mission, there should be an established set of rules outlining etiquette that we practice in the restroom. Ladies, we are in this together, so here are my suggestions for how we should treat each other in the bathroom when we are in there to do big business.

First, whether or not you are the one who has to poop, first look under the stall for feet. If alone, have at it and act like you own the place. But if there are others in the bathroom with you:

Rule #1 - The sound of urination is open season, so feel free to talk and take your time at the sink while washing your hands or checking your make-up.

Rule #2 - If the only sound you hear is the sanitary napkin dispenser door, or the sound of hangers as someone is changing clothes, repeat Rule #1.

Rule #3 - If you hear no activity, that means she is waiting for you to hurry up and leave so she can release what she came there to. Pee fast, wash your hands fast, and don't reapply make-up this time around. Be considerate, so she can get back to work.

Rule #4 - If you are the one having to do some "big business" you must flush as you go. Timing is everything. The trick here is to flush before anything hits the water. Waiting until after you are done will be too late to prevent evidence from permiating the air.

Bowel movements are certainly not sexy conversation that anyone has around the water cooler, but those awkward encounters do happen from time to time at the office and a contingency plan is a must. Ladies, if we work together then maybe those moments won't have to be as awkward after all.

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