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5 Ways Your Last Kid Gets the Short End of the Stick

07/01/2014 01:19 pm ET | Updated Aug 31, 2014
Melissa Chapman

My 9-year-old son has become fascinated by our old family videos, particularly the ones where he can glimpse himself at a younger age and our daughter at his current age. Much to our chagrin, they made him realize we suck as parents. We're burned out. My husband and I haven't taken a family video in a while, we threw out that summer Slip N' Slide we used to haul out onto our lawn and, well, our second child, our son, has in no uncertain terms told us, "You need to make memories of me at this age."

Yesterday, my husband and I were sitting by the pool and watching our youngest play with a stick he found in the woods. He proceeded to hatch an elaborate game with said stick, and my husband and I turned to each other as if to say, "WOW, we have really let this kid raise himself up, huh?" We started rattling off ways the kind of parents we are to our last kid are vastly different from the kind of parents we were to our first. Here are the five things we are super guilty of... and why my husband and I SUCK.

1. After documenting every waking moment of the first baby, the last baby is just another drooling, vomiting entity that needs to be changed.
Been there, done that. Of course you still coo at the last baby, but you realize that you can do that without videotaping their potty training.

2. Special baby detergent for sensitive skin is NOT HAPPENING.
The last kid gets used to garden variety detergent and likes it. In fact, he's lucky to get his clothes washed.

3. His life is one big hand-me-down.
Sure, he wants a new pair of Lebron's, but he gets Air Jordan's circa 1999.

4. He doesn't get a front row seat to the live stage show du jour...
... but he does get to watch anything he wants on TV, which he will be sitting in front of for 16 hours a day.

5. He doesn't get a massive birthday party with 30 kids every year.

And yes, you feel a little bad for your kid, but not enough to shell out a cool $1,000. You get the kid a Carvel cake and call it a day.

This post originally appeared on Married My Sugar Daddy