Sweatpants Cause Divorce?!

03/20/2015 02:42 pm ET | Updated May 20, 2015

Last night, I was greeted by Eva Mendes telling "Extra" that sweatpants being "the number one cause of divorce in America"

Seriously, Eva? SERIOUSLY?!

Please, for the love of muffins, tell me you aren't serious about this. That you even uttered it out loud makes me wonder about how different your version of reality is from the rest of us non-Hollywood people.

I mean, I get that you're living a very different life than the average person, and that probably is even more glaringly different when it comes to such things as postpartum recovery and life with a baby.

Here's the thing, Eva, from one "average" lifestyle Mom's perspective:

Sweatpants? Let me tell you, the first few months after my babies were born? I'm not even sure I was wearing pants. Like, at all. The haze of sleep deprivations, hormones and my body leaking in ways nobody ever really warns you about, the last freaking thing I was worried about was clothes. Or makeup. Or working out. Or anything beyond survival... my baby's and mine. And there were times where I seriously wondered, in my Dear-God-Let-Me-Sleep-For-Four-Consecutive-Hours addled brain, where I wondered if a person could actually die from sleep deprivation. If my brain would simply rupture, leak out my ears, and I'd be found in a puddle of brain matter, breast milk or formula. Frankly, ensuring I was fit for being out in public without being arrested was my husband's responsibility. Cause I totally would've wandered out, baby puke not just on a shoulder, but possibly on my front, back, both shoulders, dribbling down a leg and maybe even between my toes.

I could totally have left the house without pants.

(Did I mention I don't do sleep deprivation well? At all?)

Thanks, Eva, for putting more pressure on women, especially postpartum women. Cause it's not enough that a woman has just pushed another human being out of her body, or had major abdominal surgery. Noooo! Let's talk about them dressing nicely, working out and makeup. Oh, can't forget the MAKEUP. A lot of postpartum women struggle with the changes in their bodies. Stretch marks, things swollen that they ever wonder if it will return to normal, breasts that are not only leaky, but considerably larger than they were before, a lot of us are shedding hair by the fistful, and wondering if they've managed a decent shower in the last week or two. For some of us "lucky" women, simply sitting comfortably seems like a distant dream.

Eva, us regular folk? We don't have staff. We're bouncing from one thing to another like sleep-deprived, insane pinballs. If baby is sleeping, we might be able to get a nap, or be doing laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, cooking... there's never a shortage of things that needs to be done when it comes to the average household, especially when there's a new baby in the house.

Frankly, North American culture sucks when it comes to taking care of postpartum women. Birth has become something of a spectator sport, with family members asking, expecting and in some cases, even demanding a front row seat of the crowning baby. Then demands to visit, to feed and host family and friends. The idea of taking care of the new mother is something that has fallen off the radar for many people.

Someone who has just given birth deserves some care. Some rest. Without worrying about anyone's expectations, wants or demands. Without anyone telling her that she should be doing something different or, God forbid, more.

So, thanks Eva. Thanks for making new moms even less appreciated, for giving them some more ridiculous standards to meet, some more guilt for them to carry, some more ideals that the average person can't possibly hope to meet.


And then blame women for the divorce rates. Seriously? Women wearing sweatpants are cause of divorce? My husband, Wolf, wears sweatpants. Should I divorce him for it?

Oh, that's right... you said WOMEN weren't to wear them. Men weren't mentioned.

Good freaking grief.

And, for the record, I don't have a vested point of view when it comes to wearing sweatpants. Wear them, don't wear them, but to put the responsibility on dressing to meet a standard on a new mother, to put the responsibility on survival of a marriage on how a woman dresses, is insulting to both men and women.