What Mom REALLY Wants

04/30/2015 11:14 am ET | Updated Jun 30, 2015
Ariel Skelley via Getty Images

Yo, I'll tell you what Moms want, what they really really want,
So tell me what Moms want, what Moms really really want,
I'll tell you what Moms want, what they really really want,
So tell me what Moms want, what Moms really really want,
Moms wanna, Moms wanna, Moms wanna, Moms wanna, Moms wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.

OK, so I'm no Spice Girl, but I'm here to say, ditch the commercials, the ads, the, "You can buy something that will show your Mom how much she loves you, for the low, low price of several bajilion dollars! After all, you only have ONE Mom!" brainwashing that the ad agencies would have you believe.

Here's what a Mom wants, and the best thing is, it won't cost you a small fortune.

1. Sleep. I kid you not, I've never, ever met a mom -- especially one with little ones -- who would turn down sleep. No mother, anywhere, has ever been heard to say, "I'm totally well-rested! I need less sleep!" So, let her sleep in. OK, this may not work well if you've got a young infant that is solely breastfeeding, but other than that? Let her sleep until she wakes up, on her own. No wailing, no fingers prying her eyelids open, no toes in her hair. Trust me, she'll appreciate it. Bonus points if you take night duty,and ensure she gets a full night's sleep, AND gets to sleep in as well. (Hey, it's my blog, I can dream if I want to!)

2. A day off. Even if it's not an entire day, even several hours to do what she wants to do is a huge gift. Let her soak in the tub, go wander around the mall without hauling a diaper bag and pushing a stroller or get more sleep or time off duty. This means no laundry, no cooking, no cleaning. Going to the bathroom without a parade trailing behind her. The only butt she wipes is her own. You know, the little things in life.

3. No cooking. I know I mentioned this in #2, but seriously, no cooking. Be it takeout or Dad firing up the grill, someone else taking over meal duties is seriously appreciated. One of the most common stresses in Mom World is having to come up with what to feed people every day. Some Moms were smart, and married men who love to cook. I'm not one of them. And along with the cooking, make sure the kitchen is clean. There's nothing like wandering into the kitchen, feeling all the warm and fuzzies, and being greeted with a disaster of epic proportions to completely ruin the moment.

4. No hosting. Unless she's one of those Martha Stewart folks who adores hosting and would rather do that than just about anything else, I'll let you in on a secret: hosting is work. For us normal humans, it's not a relaxing thing. It means cleaning, cooking and everything that I just finished saying to give mom a break from for Mother's Day.

5. No command performances. A day of just nothing is a luxury that few moms get to have. One day where there's nowhere she has to go, nothing she has to do, nothing she has to be, that she could actually hang out in her jammies all day if that's what she chose to do... that's an amazing gift. So please, don't make plans with other family members unless she's suggested it's something she wants to do. Celebrate Mother's Day with your Mom, her Mom, the day before, or the weekend before, but give her the guilt-free option of not having to do anything at all that would require putting on a bra. Or pants. Here's another little secret: Packing everyone into the vehicle, wrangling everyone into a restaurant, where it's a billion times more crowded, with loads more kids, noise and general chaos than usual, plus longer wait times to be seated, and to get your food? You might be shocked to know that a lot of moms consider it a trudge through Hell, rather than a delightful Mother's Day event. Yes, seriously. Because by the time it's all said and done, ears are ringing from wailing kids (sometimes not even our own!), and it's all a big gong show. But, we feel like jerks if we say, "You know... I'd really rather stay home and do nothing."

6. Her special indulgence. Be it special cup of coffee, expensive bit of chocolate, slice of cheesecake or a gift card to her favourite hobby store (me, it's totally books), something that's just for her. Quick tip: If it's food, give it to her after the kids are down for a nap, or for the night, so she isn't immediately surrounded by vultures wanting a bite. Being able to savour a special treat without folks begging for a taste is an indulgence all its own.

7. Something with handprints or footprints. Be it a card a flower pot or a framed picture, something imprinted with handprints or footprints is an automatic awwww... unless your youngest child is a teenager, in which case it just gets a bit awkward. You'd need a card bigger than my head to get Diva's footprint in it. Trust me.

Basically, what it boils down to is relaxation. Moms are on the go, all the time. Regardless of if they stay at home, work at home or work outside the home, being a Mom is a full-time juggling act. There's always someone who needs something, and Moms are constantly putting themselves on the back burner. So, for Mother's Day this year, put her at the top of the list, and encourage her to put herself there. Time to not run, to just indulge herself, be it alone, or to snuggle up with the Minions and watch some movies, is a wonderful gift, and memory.

No commercials required.