A Purpose Pursuer's Top 10 Greatest Lessons

03/06/2015 11:10 am ET | Updated May 06, 2015
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Life is full of lots of lessons. Some we get right away, others need some time to marinate in our minds before we fully process the gift of that moment. And even if those moments are super challenging, they should be looked at as gifts. Life happens for us, not to us and if we can grasp that concept, how much more empowered would we be moving forward in life?

I've had many wins and challenges throughout my journey, both personally and professionally, that I know most people can relate to. I know this because even though we may have problems that look and feel totally different, we are all wired the same, wanting love, acceptance, and fulfillment in our lives. We all fear that we are not enough, and if that is the case, we won't be loved. But through an understanding of our experiences, we can come to the realization that these fears simply aren't true and that we have so much power within to create a life we want and deserve. Here are my top 10 greatest lessons I have learned along my path of pursuing my purpose, which may give some insight as to how you want to move forward pursuing your life's purpose.

Lesson 1: The quality of your life is in direct correlation with how you manage your emotional state.
Life is going to present its ups and downs to you. You are going to have good days where you rock it out, and you are going to have not-so-good days where you feel like crawling back in bed. What matters most through these ebbs and flows is how you manage your emotional state and what decisions you make as to how you see situations presented to you. Will you give up your power and become the victim or will you rise up and learn the lesson? Manage your emotional state, change the meaning to things that happen for you in your life, and you change the game!

Lesson 2: When you take responsibility for what you think, say, feel, and do, you create empowerment.
If everyone was on the same wave length as you, then things would be easy! We wouldn't have as much conflict if we were all on the same page. But the truth of the matter is, we all have different opinions and ways of seeing things and this is the beauty of life. It also can create an internal conflict when we feel so strongly about something and others see things so much differently. When we remind ourselves that the only thing that we can control in life is what we think, say, feel, and do and that's it; it creates so much more power than leaving it up to the opinions and actions of other people. We can't control situations and circumstances, but we can control what energy we allow into our life, and that is true power.

Lesson 3: Go after your dream because your life and others depend on it.
I first started writing my book not realizing it was a book, but more as a journal exercise when I was going through a really challenging time in my life. I was at a crossroads in my relationship, unhappy in my career, and feeling completely stuck. The notes I wrote to myself helped me and I thought, "What if these could help other people too?" After making the decision to convert these notes to a book, I made it my mission to get my work out to the world. I knew it was a gift and to not share this with others for fear of the unknown or rejection was true selfishness, and I am not a selfish person. I wrote the book like my life depended on it, because the impact it will have on others will be a part of their transformation. Imagine if we all went after our dreams like our life depended on it... how many lives would we change?

Lesson 4: Allow fear to serve you, rather than consume you.
Fear used to dictate my life. For so many years, I was afraid to step out into the unknown because I had no idea how things would turn out. I had attended numerous courses and read a massive amount of material to learn coaching skills, but for years afterwards took no steps to make the career transition to become a coach. I was so afraid of the unknown and how things would work. But who really knows how things will work? Allow your fear to fuel you, embrace it, and know that when you are starting to feel a little uncomfortable, you must be on to something.

Lesson 5: Anything is possible.
You have so much power and the challenge is you might not even realize this. You may be downplaying all the amazing inner strengths that you have. You are capable of anything you set your mind to. Creating space in your mind that anything is possible is a huge gift to give to yourself. In order to achieve those goals and live your dreams you have to first believe, starting off with getting rid of all the BS that is holding you back, which face it, most likely is the inner trash talk that goes on in your head. Believe you can and you will.

Lesson 6: There is power in the positive.
I'm not a Pollyanna, and I don't sugar coat things. But I do believe in the power of the positive. What you focus on is what you will get. If you focus on crappy things, guess what, you are bound to find more crappy things in your life. But if you focus on all the good and amazing wonders of this world, your eyes will open up to so many more things to be grateful for, beautiful individuals you will meet everyday, and inspiration in big and small moments. Positivity is a powerful energy and one you have access to at any time.

Lesson 7: We resist what we should persist.
Those things we resist are the things we need to dive into with all of our energy. I remember at one point writing my book that I wanted to stop. It was getting hard and overwhelming to figure out all the logistics for writing, publishing, and marketing. It was in that moment that I had to dig deep and ask myself why? Why was I creating this movement? Why was this important? And then I realized my resistance was due to not knowing all the steps I would need to take. I couldn't figure out how this was all going to work. But I realized as long as I had my why, I would figure out the how. I realized that what I was really resisting was part of a grand plan much bigger than myself and that it was time to stop resisting and start moving forward.

Lesson 8: A grateful heart sets the tone for the day.
Gratitude is such a powerful tool that we can use to bring more abundance into our life. The abundance of feeling like we are enough, that we have enough, and that there is plenty of goodness to go around. Gratitude suffocates those feelings of scarcity and inadequacy, because our focus shifts to all that we have now and instills hope for all that is unfolding for us for the future. Embrace gratitude.

Lesson 9: Do it because you love it.
Do what you love. Love what you do. When you can put your heart and soul into your life's work, whether it is your profession, acts of service, or gifts you give to your family, friends, or others in this world, you are living closer and closer to your purpose. You are living a life more true and authentic and closer to your core than ever. You are contributing, growing, and feeling fulfilled at all levels, both consciously and unconsciously, igniting all senses of your body and mind. Put love into what you do and let your heart lead; it won't steer your wrong.

Lesson 10: Sometimes the best way to learn, is to hold your breath and jump in!
There have been plenty of times where I have been scared to death. Or wondering what the heck I was doing. But I gently remind myself that this is part of my journey and that I am learning. And learning sometimes consists of trial and error. Or sometimes you have to throw and see what sticks. Or sometimes you just have to jump. And always trust the process. You are exactly where you need to be right now. Do it and see. And if it doesn't work, do something else. And always enjoy the ride.

Melissa Escaro is a life coach, author, and modern mindfulness educator. She believes in the power of intentional thought, that our thoughts create our reality, and that we have the power to create a life of abundance, joy, and fulfillment, and shares this with others through life coaching, blogging, and teaching. She has a slight obsession of hats and loves firewalking. Melissa is the author of In10tions: A Mindset Reset Guide to Happiness.

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