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Melissa Petro

Melissa Petro

Posted: September 7, 2010 04:53 PM

People -- not just prostitutes -- have sex for many reasons. Sometimes, for some of us, one reason is money.

From October 2006 to January 2007 I accepted money in exchange for sexual services I provided to men I met online in what was then called the "erotic services" section of Craigslist.org. No more a "professional" than a person renting a room on the same site is necessarily a professional real estate broker, for me and other women and men like myself, Craigslist at that time provided a simple, familiar forum through which I could do my business with complete anonymity, from the safety and convenience of my own home. At Craigslist.org, I was able to bill myself as exactly what I was at the time: a graduate student, bored and curious, sexually uninhibited, looking to make a little money while having a little fun. I wrote my own ads, screened my own prospective dates, decided on my own what I would and would not do for money, and -- best of all -- I kept every penny I earned, all without the interference of an agency or other ubiquitous "middle man."

Ultimately, while my experience as a "non-pro" was not the "fun" I had come looking for -- I found the lifestyle physically demanding, emotionally taxing and spiritually bankrupting, and so I made a decision to desist some months after I'd gotten started, exiting the industry just as freely as I'd entered -- never have I felt it was the state's obligation -- nor its right, in fact -- to protect me from the decisions I made.

On Thursday, September 4th, cowing to ongoing criticism from attorney generals and advocacy groups, Craigslist shut down what had come to be called its "adult services" section, replacing the link with a black and white bar that reads "censored." This, after years of Craigslist founder Craig Newmark fighting such pressure, is a disappointing display of him abandoning the very principles of freedom on which his site was founded and feels more a violation than ever I experienced on even my worst "dates." Opponents to the "adult services" section claimed that its existence facilitated with greater ease the trafficking and exploitation of women and children, and while I do not doubt such exploitation exists, it is my supposition that most women who are found out by the authorities to sell sex would rather be labeled a "victim" (and so entitled to protection) than to be considered a criminal (to be prosecuted and exposed).

For all the "victims" of the "adult services" section of Craigslist.org, I would venture there are a considerable number of individuals like myself -- free thinking, entrepreneurial human beings with choices and responsibilities -- whose real-life experiences, not to mention sources of income -- are being stifled by our so-called advocates.

It has been some years since the last time I met a stranger through Craigslist for reasons other than to buy or sell a piece of furniture. I hope to never again make the choice to trade sex for cash even as I risk my current job and social standing to speak out for an individual's right to do so. The simple fact is that people do have sex for money -- many different kinds of people for many different reasons, people as varied as those looking to buy concert tickets, sell a collectible or adopt a pet -- and these people will continue to. Whether the choice to do so is being dignified and protected with its own forum or whether what was once that safe space remains appropriately labeled "censored," that choice, without a court order one way or another, remains up to Newmark.

 
People -- not just prostitutes -- have sex for many reasons. Sometimes, for some of us, one reason is money. From October 2006 to January 2007 I accepted money in exchange for sexual services I prov...
People -- not just prostitutes -- have sex for many reasons. Sometimes, for some of us, one reason is money. From October 2006 to January 2007 I accepted money in exchange for sexual services I prov...
 
 
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12:23 AM on 10/12/2010
" I found the lifestyle physically demanding, emotionally taxing and spiritually bankrupting, and so I made a decision to desist some months after I'd gotten started.."

the writer learnt a deep soul-lesson : such people should be hired to teach kids, not fired. Bloomberg's bigotry is as unsurprising as it is expected. It seems no one in his Admin has actually read the New Testament.

this entire episode is disgraceful. says something about politicos seeking to score cheap & easy political points. how many Republicans have been outed in recent years for patronizing services of "fallen women"?
05:17 PM on 10/07/2010
Has anyone else "mentioned" her "overuse" of "quotation marks"? Who edits this stuff?
10:03 PM on 10/03/2010
A common quip, but where in the world were these teachers when I was in school?
03:56 AM on 10/02/2010
Comments for this blog are not being allowed -especially if you have a logical argument against the writer's viewpoint.
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ModeratorStephanie
Product Manager
04:08 AM on 10/02/2010
I beg to differ. If you violate our comment guidelines (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/p/frequently-asked-question.html#moderation), your comment will be removed, as your first one attacking this blogger was. If you wish to discuss further, you can contact me at community-support@huffingtonpost.com.
05:08 PM on 09/28/2010
"Former sex worker, researcher, writer, educator, and feminist"

Byline left out, "disgraced teacher removed from the classroom."
11:10 PM on 09/27/2010
This a tough one, does she get to stay on the job as an elementary school teacher?

If she's totally given up her former occupation and she's a qualified teacher,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, what the hay.

Everyone is entitled to a second chance.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JohnBryansFontaine
Liberal Democrat
11:22 AM on 09/27/2010
Teacher Reassigned After Sex Article

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/27/nyregion/27teacher.html

The Rolling Stones - Honky Tonk Woman (HQ)

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8qrly_the-rolling-stones-honky-tonk-woman_music
07:35 PM on 09/21/2010
Now how would the AGs feel about if all these sites just posted ads for virtual prostitution instead? Would they let it go at that or would they cook up yet another lame excuse? I think they would initially just watch it and if some started posting 'your place or my place' only then they would try something. But then again I think the AGs would run into a little trouble: California v. Freeman http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_v._Freeman
04:24 PM on 09/21/2010
Since most of the prostitution laws in the USA are laws against sexual contact and penetration the only way to get around them is to use either a wireless sex toy or teledildonics. Couple those with HMDs and software and you got yourself an orgasmatron.

If craigslist and others had ads only for 'virtual sex' I would just love to see what lame excuse those AGs would come up with.
03:58 PM on 09/21/2010
And now they going after Backpage.com. Yet another 'for the children' crusade...except of all the stings police did involving craigslist and backpage all over the USA only a few were under-aged.

"for the children" usage is one of the oldest and dirtiest of tricks to circumvent logical debate
03:01 AM on 09/16/2010
I think this article reflects the different types of women who use Craigslist to sell sexual services. Although the State attorneys general were going after child sex traffickers as the basis for their legal shakedown of Craigslist, they ended up getting rid of the option the site provided for independent, educated women to use the services provided by Craigslist in a manner which did not expose them to exploitation or harm. And, I have no doubts another site will pop up advertising these services, if indeed they do not already exist. I'm a law student, but from a policy standpoint I don't see the rationale for the states' decision to force political pressure on a website and make an example of it when it simply hasn't done anything in violation of law. They are protected from user-generated content even if the content suggests a violation of the law, which means the prosecutors are just making an example of Craigslist.

Be that as it may, I would like to note that there are independent, self-determined women who may derive a benefit from a particular online service without acknowledging that that same tool they use responsibly and without incident can be used to the detriment of other women who are not in such a fortunate position in life. I would just hope the author does not overgeneralize her positive and uneventful experience with the site to the women who are pimped through the internet instead of the street corner.
07:48 PM on 09/15/2010
Big Big Story: Craigslist caves, and the workers speak!
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Hontas Farmer
Stargazer
04:56 PM on 09/14/2010
These were very brave comments. Let me just say I know where Melissa Petro is coming from and leave my own revelations at that. Nothing takes the fun out of anything like involving money.

One would think that people would be understanding of a young woman (or in my case transwoman) who has little money, big bills, and a high sex drive. Especially in an economy where a woman will have that much harder of a time finding work.

For people like me, who made the switch before becoming firmly ensconced in a career the level of discrimination may not be surmountable. No matter who educated I am, and I practically have a MS in Physics...even if I was a PhD I may not get hired just because. My options are take very low paying work that will not even pay the bills + student loan debt, or simply hold out for a better job. Or take the low paying (I mean min wage or just a bit more) job and supplement it with some manner of erotic work.

Craigslist setup made that choice all to tempting and simple. I suppose a few clicks, a few pics and some sexy text and hours or a couple days latter the rent is paid. That's why it had to go.

It could also be abused too. Though the news coverage makes it sound like it was nothing but abuse. The best way to stop the abuses of sex workers is legalization.
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Hontas Farmer
Stargazer
05:10 PM on 09/14/2010
I meant "no matter how educated...". That was a somewhat dyslexic of me.
01:53 PM on 09/13/2010
Melissa congrats on all your publications.
08:28 PM on 09/12/2010
"Melissa Petro graduated from Antioch College in 2002 with a degree in Self, Society and Culture, and is currently pursuing an MFA in Creative Nonfiction at The New School."
'nuff ced
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Hontas Farmer
Stargazer
04:58 PM on 09/14/2010
So? What degree do you have big boy?
10:25 AM on 09/27/2010
Maybe the question is what degree does he "practically" have.