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Melissa Petro

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Writing From the Rubber Room

Posted: 12/04/10 05:31 PM ET

It was over three years ago that I was selected by the New York City Teaching Fellows program to become a public school teacher. I didn't know, at that time, that I wanted to be a teacher -- I knew only that I liked working with children, and I needed a job. The NYC Teaching Fellows bills itself as a highly competitive program that recruits and prepares "high-quality, dedicated individuals from different backgrounds and careers to become teachers in our city's public schools." At the time I applied to the Teaching Fellows I was a writer and a graduate student, working as a research assistant in a public hospital while earning my Masters degree in Creative Nonfiction from the New School.

I was also a former sex worker. Of this, I made no secret. My academic and creative writing has appeared in numerous publications online and in print since 2006. My work is included in the NY Times acclaimed anthology Hos, Hookers, Call Girls and Rent Boys: Professionals Writing on Love, Sex, Money and Work as well as in Sex Work Matters: Power and Intimacy in the Sex Industry. I have presented at multiple conferences on the issue of women's participation in the sex industry and regularly participate in literary readings around the city. My thesis at the New School, completed the same semester I was accepted into the Fellows program, was entitled "Selling Sex."

Having spent more than a decade making meaning of my own self and my experiences -- as well as having conducted ethnographic research in the United States and Europe, interviewing prostitutes and other sex workers about themselves and their professions -- I am deeply committed to fighting for the preservation of the rights and integrity of current and former sex workers. Specifically, I advocate for decriminalization and de-stigmatization of the industry, so that women and men who choose to sell sex can do so with greater protection and less fear and so that individuals who choose to exit the industry can do so with a more honest, right-sized understanding of their experiences -- the kind of honest, right-sized understanding I have worked so hard to have for myself.

While I would not say I am the same person in a spiritual sense, what is undeniable is that I was, at one time, a sex worker and was, until recently, a teacher. Writing and sharing my story was and continues to be a part of my recovery from my history. Through writing and performing my work I learned that my feelings matter. My thoughts and experiences are important. Others can relate and be helped by my sharing. As a writer, I learned to trust in the validity of my opinions and that I could humbly express such opinions -- indeed, it is my First Amendment right to do so. No doubt the fact that I was a working writer was partly the reason I was offered a position at PS 70 in the first place, where I taught art and creative writing with a seriousness of purpose unique, I believe, to those of us who go home and live the lessons we teach.

Of all the actions I've taken in my lifetime, there has been no greater source of pride and esteem than I found in working as a teacher. Over the past three years, I grew to love my profession. My first and second years, I worked hard to earn a Masters in Childhood Education while teaching full time, working before and after school to self-design an arts curriculum and create an arts-rich environment in a school that formerly had no art teacher at all. I was involved in my school's community and respected amongst my colleagues. I was as positive an influence on my student's lives as they were on mine.

All this changed the evening of Sunday, September 26th when I received a phone call at my home from a woman that identified herself as the Superintendent of Schools in District 9, informing me that I had been reassigned to administrative duties pending a Special Commissioners Investigation. It was the next day when an article appeared on the front cover of the September 27th edition of the New York Post. This article, headlined "Bronx teacher admits: I'm an ex-hooker," began like this: "Meet Melissa Petro: the teacher who gives a new twist to 'sex-ed.'" In the article I am described as a "tattooed former hooker and stripper" who was "shockingly upfront about [her] past," posting "online accounts" of my so-called "sexcapades" including an essay in which, according to the Post, I "claim" to have been a prostitute. The essay that statement is in reference to is an opinion editorial posted on September 7th at the Huffington Post, in which I disclose having accepted money in exchange for sexual services sold on Craigslist from October 2006 through January 2007, some months prior to my becoming a teacher. In that article I described the lifestyle I was living at that time as "physically demanding, emotionally taxing and spiritually bankrupting" and go on to say that "I hope to never again make the choice to trade sex for cash even as I risk my current job and social standing to speak out for an individual's right to do so."

Since the New York Post's "exclusive," I have sat in reassignment while the Special Commissioners investigated what I had been open and honest about all along. "Reassigned" means that instead of teaching I report to the administrative offices at 65 Court Street where I sit six hours and fifty minutes each weekday in a windowless cubicle at a generic desk designated as mine. The system of reassignment -- formerly called "rubber-rooming" -- is a well reported controversy. We who've been reassigned are scattered inconspicuously throughout the building, indistinguishable from the DOE's actual administrative employees. Publicly the DOE claims that people who have been reassigned are doing administrative work, but the reality is that no such work exists. For the past two months I've been paid my full salary to sit in what amounts to detention.

I believe workers should be allowed to live self determined lives outside the workplace and that, so long as that individual performs competently at his or her job, one's personal life -- particularly one's personal history -- should be inconsequential to his or her employer. In the age of the internet, individuals' lives outside the workplace are becoming increasingly harder to hide. While in my case I made no secret of my identity, neither as a former sex worker nor as a writer, as we advocate for individuals' rights to privacy, I believe what must simultaneously be challenged are society's outdated notions of what kind of individuals -- particularly, what kind of women -- are fit for certain jobs. Certainly, the attention generated by my story illustrates that, for many -- including, it seems, Mr. Bloomberg -- the kind of woman fit for working with children is not the kind of woman who would, at any time in her life, have participated in any aspect of the sex industry -- or, if she had, she certainly wouldn't want to talk about it today.

Two months later and the results are in: As I suspected, the DOE could find no evidence of anything inappropriate about my conduct as a teacher, other than my having an opinion with which many disagree on a controversial topic that few know much about. That is to say that the OSI investigation found nothing other than my work as a writer and that -- though mischaracterized in the report -- I stand behind. I never did anything at work or -- in my opinion, outside of work -- to warrant removal from my job. My writing or opinions on sex work in no way affected my role as a teacher. If people were truly concerned about the children, they would have investigated this privately and found this to be true, rather than plastering my image all over the tabloids and exposing my students to the vague claim that their art teacher is in some way a bad person. The fact is, administration at my school was aware of my situation and was supportive up until the day of my reassignment. At the end of the day, I believe I was put on reassignment not for my work outside of the classroom -- which I have made no secret of from the beginning -- but because the Post embarrassed the DOE.

The DOE may be embarrassed by the New York Post, but I am not. I have no regrets and have done nothing I'm ashamed of. I have worked hard to become the woman I am today -- a woman of dignity and grace, not to mention a competent teacher as well as an accomplished writer. I do not deserve to be shamed or punished or made to feel useless, and yet here I sit in "reassignment." Given the negative attention this situation has received I still hope though do not expect I will be returned to teaching. That said, I firmly believe I should have the right to teach despite my past and despite my conduct outside of the workplace -- which I perceive as courageous and important and certainly not "unbecoming." I believe teachers should not be removed from their positions for living their lives outside the workplace, for having histories from which they've overcome -- overcome, in my case, in large part precisely by speaking out and sharing my story -- and certainly not for having and expressing opinions. I believe an important part of life is making mistakes, and learning from those mistakes is what makes us -- as individuals, as well as a society -- evolve. While my conduct prior to my becoming a teacher may be morally reprehensible to some, I harmed no one the way I harmed myself. To those I have harmed, I have made amends. I've asked for God's forgiveness and I have forgiven myself. For me, the punishment of living the lifestyle I lived prior to becoming a teacher was punishment enough. I do not deserve and will not be punished any further. I am entirely comfortable with the who I am today and more proud than ever of the job I did as a teacher, of which even the Post could find no way of describing me other than "well liked."

The way I see it, if anyone's being punished by this situation it's my former students. As far as I know, they still haven't replaced me, which means these kids still don't have an art and writing teacher. Now that's the real shame.

 
 
 
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08:59 PM on 12/09/2010
Hey Melissa--way to make Horace proud! You're on your way to a victory for humanity. The way to legitimize and destigmatize sex work, is to bring it out into the light of day. I hope you're working on a book.

Signed,
Another Antiochian
06:01 PM on 12/09/2010
I'm not sure how else to get in contact with you, Ms. Petro, but I wanted to communicate my support for you throughout this absurdity. I've detailed my support here: http://thebusysignal.com/2010/12/09/firing-melissa-petro-would-be-indefensible-and-intolerable/ I wish there was more I could do. Any conceivable execution of true justice and reason should find you back in the classroom quite soon - I hope that this all turns out the way it should. My thoughts are with you.
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HarrietM
07:28 PM on 12/07/2010
Well I support you unequivocally. I would not have a problem with you teaching art and writing to my own kids at their school. Unfortunately I live in the Souther Ozarks and I might be one of maybe three parents in my school district who would not have a problem. :-(

I wish that I could believe that the DOE would reinstate you to your position. Like you I have my doubts that any government agency can behave in a sensible manner rather than being batted about by the loudest and most ignorant of public opinion. All I can offer you here is the support of one rural housewife with children.

I would wish you good luck, but you have skills and you have imagination. I doubt you will need luck to find your next adventure. Best wishes.
03:47 PM on 12/07/2010
If prostitution is decriminalized so that former participants can re-enter society easier, where do they put their work history on a resume?
06:40 AM on 12/07/2010
Whew! I need some coffee
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teacher39years
Educational Reformers need to be "Reformed."
06:28 AM on 12/07/2010
I doubt we'll see any articles in the Post investigating Wall Street or Big Business.
senseandnonsense
Trapeze artist
10:32 AM on 12/09/2010
Excellent point! Touche. "Look forward, not back" is the current tack, except for some people...
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TheRock Barkat
04:25 AM on 12/07/2010
I admire your turning yourself around. Though you should have known that in sensitive thing such as teaching kids that it was going to be an issue. Just look at what some of these people do to gays. Im sure the NY Post didnt help matters much either. You accomplished a great deal and you should be proud of that. I hope you can find something that you can be comfortable with without being harassed.
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Sister Bluebird
02:07 AM on 12/08/2010
Yes, women who sell it as opposed to those who give it away, really should be banned from teaching children. That makes perfect sense.
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TheRock Barkat
02:43 AM on 12/08/2010
Did I say they should be banned or did you insert that in there? I said you should have known in a sensitive thing as teaching kids that it would be an issue. I did not say an issue with me, I said an issue with some.

Ive been on the internet a long time..I know lots of freaky people from all walks of life. I judge no one.
02:06 AM on 12/07/2010
Nice post, Ms. Petro.
12:37 AM on 12/07/2010
This article is very well written and I admire your honesty. I respect the fact that you are owning up to your past and stating flat out "this is who I am, deal with it". I don’t agree with the decision taken by the DOE for the reasons that you have stated.

That being said, I don't agree with your arguments for decriminalization. With all due respect, people who choose to become sex workers, must also accept the risks involved. It's not because of the presence of a risk that it should be decriminalized. The same can be said for someone who risks becoming a drug dealer. I don’t agree that the need for protection from risks that has been wilfully taken, should translate into decriminalization.

You state that "I harmed no one the way I harmed myself" and that you have made amends with those you have hurt. I cannot judge how this has affected you but there seems to a certain naivety about how this profession affects others and society as a whole. Having worked with sex workers; sex workers do contribute to the spread of STD's, there are high rates of drug use, unwanted pregnancies, suicide, health issues, poverty, abuse, families and marriages are broken up, women are treated as objects etc.... Most sex workers are not educated empowered articulate women. You even state in your article that you have hurt yourself, hurt others, that spiritually this has drained you.........so why should society condone this?
02:01 AM on 12/07/2010
"With all due respect, people who choose to become sex workers, must also accept the risks involved."

That's not the issue. Of course they should accept the risks. The issue is whether or not it's fair for the government to create many of the risks in the first place (due to current bans; remember prohibition?).

"...there seems to a certain naivety about how this profession affects others and society as a whole."

In all fairness, your post never considers the possibility that many of the pathologies that you attribute to sex workers are due to the fact that the work is illegal and unregulated rather than due to inherent problems with the work itself. The Netherlands doesn't have the high rates of STDs, unwanted pregnancies, drug use, social decay, etc. so why is it fair to generalize in this manner? In addition, you ask why society should condone this as if society has a right to tell people what they should do with their bodies. I hope you see the problem with having such a mentality...among other things, it pulls the rug out from under the argument that women have some inherent right to weigh their options (without government intervention) in the event of a pregnancy. After all, why should society condone (and sometimes subsidize via free clinics) abortions (btw, I'm speaking as a pro-choice individual who sees some flaws in your reasoning)?
08:52 AM on 12/07/2010
I dont think my reasoning is flawed. I am very much a pro choice advocate as well but just because certain harmful things in society are legal, it doesnt mean that that should be the basis to decriminalize other harmful practices.

Furthermore you have clearly not researched "the netherlands" issue because the government is actually having major problems with their red light district. Various european gangs have encroached on the area, human trafficking has become a major problem, so has violence, abuse, drugs, std's, killing, other criminal activities, pimps, money laundering etc.; 75% of the prostitutes are not local dutch people. Women are trafficked from asia, africa, latin america and poor eastern european countries. Furthermore, because of this, the government is making-over that whole district by trying to attract boutiques, art galleries, upscale stores etc.............the mayor has even said that legalizing/regulating prostitution has not helped to protect women, which was the intial desire...........So if the netherlands becomes our "model" and protecting women has not been achieved, not in the least, then why decriminalize prostitution?
02:05 AM on 12/07/2010
Another problem with the "why should society condone this "mentality" is that it means that you'd be forced to accept things like a government ban on salt, certain restaurants, or food that exceed a certain caloric level because such a ban could be justified by citing the social costs of obesity.

Lastly...

"Most sex workers are not educated empowered articulate women."

Assuming that the above sentence is true, could it perhaps be due to the fact that an illegal business will only attract people who have fewer economic and educational opportunities?
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Jeff Rosenbury
08:21 AM on 12/07/2010
It is more likely that educated, empowered, articulate women have other options for making money.

Some percentage of women enjoy sex with varied partners enough to consider sex work as a career (or just extra income on the side). I don't have a problem with that. But many women are forced into this line of work through sex trafficking or poverty.

Under the laws of supply and demand, a lot of one thing drives the price down. Legalizing prostitution would force wages in the sex industry down to minimum wage pay rates. It would not likely improve working conditions as claimed.

Read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_the_Netherlands

This shows that historically legalization has not helped as it's proponents claim. It makes the problems worse.
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DarianSentient
Omnium Bonum Est
11:22 PM on 12/06/2010
Beautifully written, Melissa. I wish you fortune, justice and understanding.
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alkamm
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
11:11 PM on 12/06/2010
Interviewing for a school teaching position in Australia, they asked a friend of mine if she masturbated. They wanted her to so that she wouldn't be prone (ha) to sleeping with the small town outbackers. I suppose they'd think that was a distraction to the students, a disruption to the culture, such as it was. Can't imagine them asking that these days.
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Sister Bluebird
02:13 AM on 12/08/2010
uh?!
Please tell me you made that up.
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alkamm
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
10:36 AM on 12/08/2010
I didn't make it up,and the young woman who told me was not one to make up such things.
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MikeWebster
Always happy.
09:24 PM on 12/06/2010
What a repulsive and hypocritical act by the Department of Education. A truly horrible NYP article too.

If they want fairness, then an in depth investigation of every teachers private life is in order. Otherwise they should just realise that people's choices in private are no business of their employers.

The children are missing (what sounds like) a fine teacher. The only point I'd make is you don't need to ask anyone (even god) forgiveness for anything you've described here. Self forgiveness is of course always important.
11:02 AM on 12/07/2010
It has nothing to do with someone's private life, but rather the fact that an educator is promoting, rationalizing and justifying illegal activity. Parents have a right to choose who they want to teach their children. The fact that she was being paid by the school during the investigation when schools are so cash strapped tells us there is a serious disconnect between the schools and the needs of parents and children. I think the person paying for the schools should make the ultimate decision. After all, teaching is a service business. Today in government, education and healthcare, the attitude is that the employee tells the employer how it should be. This is the fundamental problem. If an employee used this kind of an attitude with their employer, they would be immediately terminated in the private sector. Unfortunately within the education system, this cannot happen--which is the problem.
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Eric Mann
Do you want to be on the opposite side of Progress
01:56 PM on 12/07/2010
um, no, parents do not have a "right to choose who is teaching their child." The only people who have that right to choose who teaches are the people who hire teachers.

She is not promoting an illegal activity, she wrote about her experiences participating in it. The difference is clear. She is not telling kids to go out and be a prostitute, she in fact documents how rough that life is.
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sarahinez
05:54 PM on 12/07/2010
How in the world would 30 people ever agree on who should be hired to teach their child in a third-grade class, much less settle with 200 others on a gym teacher, art teacher, music teacher? Besides, parents are not the only ones paying for schools--or shouldn't be--despite the short-sighted complaints of some childless and aging citizens.

Teaching is not a service business. It is a profession. The fact that teachers see their clients in groups of 20-30 doesn't change that.
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Greg Bell
07:49 PM on 12/06/2010
They will be losing a fine teacher if this decision stands. Life IS about making mistakes and learning how to recover from them, let's hope the DOE learns from this one and reinstates Ms. Petro.
06:23 PM on 12/06/2010
Welcome to the Puritanical States of America 2010!
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glockman
07:40 AM on 12/07/2010
You misunderstand puritanism.
ThatsTheTheWayItIs
religion, ideology, partisanship are delusional
06:10 PM on 12/06/2010
So-called "prostitution" is not against US Fed law, though it's legal in only one state.
The same folks who gave us Prohibition made it illegal.
11:03 AM on 12/07/2010
Correction...it is "controlled in one state and in a few select counties.