Ladies, if anyone knows what it's like to be ready to get engaged and not have a ring on your finger yet, it's me. Even though I was super-young when I was set for Paul to pop the question -- at the ripe old age of 21 -- we had been dating for eight years at that point.
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So when he still hadn't proposed by our 10th anniversary, I was antsy to say the least. Luckily, the proposal came a few months after we hit the 10-year mark, and I think it happened when it did because I did a few of the following things.
Plan a trip to a romantic destination.
The second-biggest reason Paul hadn't proposed (I'll get to the biggest one soon) was that he didn't know where to do it. We didn't have a favorite spot in New York, the city we called and still call home, that would make an appropriate setting. So two years after college, once we were in stable jobs that paid enough to cover our bills plus a little extra, I suggested we go to Paris. I had always wanted to go, and Paul was itching to travel, so we figured a place where I kinda sorta spoke the language would work. And while I couldn't guarantee Paul would propose while we were there, he seized the opportunity.
Pay for your partner's expenses.
Okay, so the biggest hindrance to Paul popping the question was money. Even though he wasn't living paycheck to paycheck, he didn't exactly have a few grand in savings to fund an engagement ring quite yet. Not that I did either, but I had enough to cover both halves of our rent for a couple of months. Paul was too proud to let me pay for my own engagement ring, otherwise I would've ponied up in that way. But at least paying our biggest living expense helped him save a bit faster.
Make it clear you don't need a big diamond engagement ring.
A lot of guys have it in their heads that they need to invest in a center stone that's at least a carat -- some think 1.5 ct. is the minimum. So not true. If you'd be happy with a .5 stunner on your finger, let your guy know. That way, he needs less time to save up.
See more: The Rudest Engagement Ring Comments EVER
Make it clear you don't want a diamond engagement ring at all.
Maybe you prefer the look of a colored gemstone. Great! They're often more economical than diamonds. But unless you convey that to your man, he probably has no idea. Again, once he's aware, he'll be able to rustle up the funds faster. Don't want a ring of any kind? Clue in your guy, pronto.
Propose yourself.
If getting married is your main objective, and you're pretty sure your main squeeze is into it, just ask him your damn self. No couple is any less married because the gal popped the question. Besides, if you're a same-sex female couple, a gal HAS to pop the question.
And one that doesn't work...
Issue an ultimatum.
I tried and failed. I said, "Paul, if you don't propose by our 10th anniversary, I'm breaking up with you." It was so stupid. We made plans to go out for dinner that night at a restaurant where there was no way he'd propose. So not one bit of me expected to get engaged that evening. But we had a great night. How was I supposed to end our happy relationship after that? When I playfully reminded him that I was supposed to dump his ass, he asked me not to and reminded me that he's simply saving for a ring. Despite me saying I didn't need a ring, he was fairly hell-bent on buying me one. And he did just three months later.
Who out there's just dying to get engaged? Would you try any of the above to get a proposal faster? I highly recommend being patient -- seems like the girls who shut up and wait are the happiest when it finally happens.
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LOL! According to whom? Jewelers? Rings shouldn't cost anywhere near that much - that's an obscene waste of funds. If a man does spend three months' of his income on a ring, run. He's horrible at investing.
"carry his weight in the marriage."
This is code for carry her weight. Sadly, his burden is likely to go up exponentially once the wedding cake is cut.
I think there are some people who need to lighten up, forcryingoutloud.
I also notice she says "get engaged." The marriage is far more important than the engagement. I suggest couples concentrate on that rather than all the claptrap that goes with the engagement.
Second, giving someone an ultimatum because they're not moving on your time line is disgusting and is in and of itself sufficient grounds to dump someone. What's the worst case scenario - you turn 22 and aren't married? The horror! You might even graduate college without your Mrs.! Oh no! I had someone pull this on me once - I don't know where she is but I certainly know she's not with me. Ultimatums mean that the partner is totally dismissing any fear or concern that the other partner is having is is making it all about them. It's quintessential "me me me!" action. That is the last thing you want in a partner because live will be intolerable.
The rest of the article misses the point - I know that you're so wonderful that no one would dare hesitate to marry you that the only reason they would put off asking the question is money but....well that's likely simply not true. Maybe there are reasons other than the price of a ring that the guy doesn't want to marry you or anyone at 21....
2) Pay for your own ring, so that you don't force him to waste money on nonsense.
Anything else?
Get over it!
Move on!
There ARE other considerations in life.
If you don't like the fact that your boyfriend hasn't asked you to marry him after a long time, you might want to consider how this same sort of behavior might affect your married life with him. And whether you really want to put up with that.
P.S. You ARE allowed to discuss life goals, and such, with a romantic partner. If you are not, then run like hell!