THE BLOG

Fifty First (J)Dates: Boy Meets Boy

11/04/2010 01:47 pm ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

Here at FFJD, I happen to be a girl looking for a boy. I've surveyed the various dating site options (Match, eHarmony, JDate) for myself. I figure I should branch out on my knowledge of dating sites in general, to ones for gays. Today specifically, dating sites for gay men.

A guest blogger and gorgeous friend (sadly, he's taken), has come to enlighten us on these such sites.

Here is an introduction to his world, where it seems to me there's less messages about your bubbelah (sounds better when it comes from Tracy Morgan) and more about getting down to business.

There is a widely circulated stereotype that all gay men are preoccupied with sex. As a gay man, I argue that this is less of a stereotype and more of an observation. Sure, many friends of Dorothy purport to want meaningful committed life partners. However, these men tend to be approaching 40 and really just want a man required to have sex with them in their developments of the growing waist sizes and receding hairlines that come with age; that is, these partnerships serve more as an investment in sexual stability in the face of diminishing returns on sexual advances.

For the youthful gay man who can still fit into a pair of skinny jeans, the main goal seems to be promiscuity.

Enter: the gay dating site.

Of course, there are many gay men on traditional dating sites such as match.com or jdate. However, there are strictly "gay" dating sites that cater to the gay man's need to have a large number of sexual partners.

Rather, these sites should be called gay "dating sites," as they primarily function to match sexual partners. Let's take a look, shall we?

First we must explore the basic constitution of such a site. Like other dating sites, these hook-up pages tend to have a general format. Each profile gives the opportunity for a member to list all of the essential information that one would need to make a fair assessment as to whether or not he wants to do the horizontal mambo with you.

The first item is age, although this must be taken cautiously as many men will lie and say they are 30 when they are really 42. Compatibility is crucial in any relationship, so a member can also reveal his preference of sexual position, such as top, mostly top, versatile, mostly bottom, or bottom. When you're doing any online shopping, you need to make sure your purchases will fit you, so all the critical measurements of each member are posted as well--height, weight, arm/chest girth, and, of course, package size (usually accompanied by a picture, but more on that later).

But how will you know that this physical match will share the same life goals and interests as you?

For this piece of necessary information, you must consult the member's likes: oral sex, groups, toys, bondage, etcetera. Finally, each profile has pictures. In this section, there is more opportunity for variability, but usually a member will post a face picture, a body picture, and a picture of the goods.

Like the age category, the photo section must be treated with suspicion as well, for members tend to look nothing like the photos they post.

There are several of these "dating sites" to which homosexual men flock when they get home from work. Grindr, the renown iPhone app, is a convenient option. This site is able to list the nearest members online to your current location. The perks of using this site include short travel to your partner, universal accessibility (where you have cell service), and minimal communication with your partner, as cell phone texting communication tends to be brief.

Adam4Adam is another popular selection. Unlike Grindr, this is an actual website that requires a browser and internet connection. Because it is intended to be used on a computer, the site gives more options to present information about oneself.

Furthermore, it is a free website that anyone can use.

The most popular website, however, is Manhunt. This "dating site" requires a monthly fee. The perks of such a fee, however, is having the comfort that members have at least some disposable income (after all, who wants to copulate with a poor?)

The site is much more navigable than the other options, and you can search for members based on height, age, position, etc. requirements. This way, one can find an appropriate match for whatever particular mood he is in. Remember, gay men are fickle!

Happy manhunting.

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