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Meredith Gordon
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Blog Entries by Meredith Gordon

Love Means Never Having to Go to Coachella, and Other Things I'm Relieved I'm Too Told to Do

(4) Comments | Posted April 29, 2013 | 7:12 PM

Coachella: aka The Coachella Valley. Located in Southern California, near Palm Springs.

Coachella: an annual music festival in Indio California in the Coachella Valley.

Coachella: my biggest nightmare.

I feel like I dodged a bullet. The Coachella Music Festival has again passed without me having to go. It's a fear...

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Aging Sucks: I Miss the Tops of My Tits

(28) Comments | Posted March 6, 2013 | 3:47 PM

I have great tits. I'm not telling you that to brag, I'm just telling you that because there's not one part of my body, talent or personality you'll ever hear me say is great. But I have great tits, for a normal person, who doesn't photograph them for the Internet.

...
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More Kids? Heck, No!

(8) Comments | Posted March 5, 2013 | 5:11 PM

Strangers love to talk to me about my ovaries. In particular, strangers seem to have a regular hankering to discuss my high functioning ovaries. That is to say, everyone I've never met wants to know if I'm going to have more kids.

At the park, a nanny I've never met...

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Better Marketing for Hannukah

(2) Comments | Posted December 10, 2012 | 5:43 PM

I'm looking down the barrel my five-year-old. All my pre-planned thoughts go out the window. I knew he'd ask, but didn't realize it would be quite this soon. I'd assumed he'd get curious around 10 and want real answers by 13, but I was wrong. He's five and he wants...

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Camp Xanax

(0) Comments | Posted September 5, 2012 | 4:20 PM

If your kid could tell you what he thought of his summer break, what would he say?

Here's what mine had to say...

It's the day after Labor Day. I'm cruising Facebook. There's one picture after another of kids going back to school in still store-creased polo shirts hauling...

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My Ovaries Don't Come With G.P.S.

(5) Comments | Posted August 2, 2012 | 12:14 PM

He's going to call me passive aggressive. It's just a matter of time. My husband and I are at a conversational stalemate. He is one sentence away from calling me passive aggressive, which is "husband" for bitch. And I'm one sentence away from calling him an asshole, which is "wife"...

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'It's Not Me, It Is You'

(5) Comments | Posted June 15, 2012 | 7:13 PM

If you have kids and I have kids, do we have to be friends?

Every Tuesday, I've got a date with my kid. A clumsy kid who could trip in his sleep, he goes to a private class where he gets to do things like "work on his vestibular system"...

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