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Merrill Markoe

Entries by Merrill Markoe

Westminster 2011: White Working Men in Suits Group

(4) Comments | Posted February 20, 2011 | 6:28 PM

The past week was so filled with international protest and general tumult, you may have missed the annual broadcast of The Westminster Kennel Club Show from Madison Square Garden. As always, it was spectacular. But no group stood out as more magnificent than this year's crop of White Middle Aged...

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The Book of Genestones

(4) Comments | Posted October 29, 2010 | 11:28 PM

One of the many ridiculous topics trapped in an endless circular debate year after year in this country is whether or not evolutionary science or creationism should be taught in schools. In the interest of giving both sides a fair hearing, I went to The Creation Museum in Kentucky. There...

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At Westminster2010: The White Working Women in Knee Length Suits Group

(20) Comments | Posted February 25, 2010 | 1:52 AM

Every year I look forward to watching the broadcast of the big Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden. And every year, as I watch it, I think about making this piece. This year I went ahead and did it.

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Worried About Health Care? Milton Friedman Hot Chocolate!

(22) Comments | Posted December 10, 2009 | 1:35 PM

Perhaps you have also been fretting over the health care reform bill in its many and mysterious mutations. I started out excited, especially about the public option and the idea of presenting a counter-punch to those miserable insurance company behemoths, their continually rising rates and their hideous unknowable opt-outs for...

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Hugo Chavez's Righteous Attack on Golf

(11) Comments | Posted August 12, 2009 | 4:55 PM

At first I was shocked to read today in the New York Times of the puzzling new political attack by President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela against the seemingly harmless target of golf. Apparently pro-Chávez officials have moved in recent weeks to shut down two of the country's best-known golf courses....

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Hospitals Develop Brilliant New Term for Kleenex

(40) Comments | Posted August 8, 2009 | 3:50 PM

There is an interesting article in today's New York Times about a service that now exists to help recovering patients make their way through all the false charges on their hospital bills. These self titled "medical advocates" charge to help you navigate the language of the insurance companies and...

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I Know How to Save the Republican Party!

(28) Comments | Posted June 29, 2009 | 11:26 PM

It was never a short or long range goal of mine to save the Republican party. But it came to me yesterday how they can do it. Now my altruistic side has got the better of me.

It hit me after reading Maureen Dowd's column in the Sunday New York...

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I Know What to Do About Kim Jong Il.

(52) Comments | Posted May 27, 2009 | 2:38 PM

It may not surprise you to hear that I have very little experience negotiating international policy. While this wouldn't have held me back from a prominent advisor position in the Bush years, I am afraid that it disqualifies me from stepping up to the plate in the current administration. But...

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Imaginative new definitions for sin in a changing world

(8) Comments | Posted February 27, 2009 | 5:21 PM

The following in on the front page of Motor Authority, a site I check every day. Okay, okay. I've never read it before. It was forwarded to me by the man with whom I live. But wow. Say what you will about the Muslim religion, this has to be the...

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Or Supply Your Own Punchline...

(9) Comments | Posted July 26, 2008 | 7:21 PM

On Friday, President Bush said something odd after signing into law tougher sanctions against Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe, a thug who is hanging on to his position of power even after being defeated in an election.

What he said was; "No regime should ignore the will of its own...

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I am really really really sorry. Vote for me.

(1) Comments | Posted February 1, 2007 | 7:26 PM

Yesterday former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi made a public apology in the newspapers to his wife for flirting with other women. Today San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom publicly apologized for having an affair with his re-election campaign managers wife. The President of Israel is about to be indicted on...

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Hygiene Tips: Saddam's Forgotten Legacy

(4) Comments | Posted January 20, 2007 | 6:24 PM

Well, now that the dust has settled and all the cell phones have been put away and the heads picked up off the floor in the gallows room, and all the extra rope put back in to storage... I thought it might be time to look back with a little...

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Why Bush's Suits Bug Me So Much

(89) Comments | Posted January 2, 2007 | 3:03 PM

There's a picture of George W. Bush talking to Donald Rumsfeld on the front page of the NY Times today. It infuriated me instantly, so I sat and tried to analyze my own rage.

Here's what I figured out: There is a reason why every picture...

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Yippee! Its Zover

(8) Comments | Posted December 31, 2006 | 6:03 PM

Its difficult to bid too fond a farewell to 2006 because continuing to endure the presidency of George Bush kind of reminds me of being an impatient little kid in the back of a car on a very long cross country trip, kicking the seat in front of me...

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Puzzling Super-Ironic Corporate Holiday Greetings

(28) Comments | Posted December 27, 2006 | 1:00 AM

I know a lot of people who are funny for a living. And almost all of them send me funny Christmas cards. Some are silly funny ie: my friend who always poses with a cut out of a rabbi. Some are ironic funny ie: My friend who sent a Xerox...

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Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Inappropriate Behavior

(27) Comments | Posted December 14, 2006 | 11:08 PM

An article elsewhere on this page informs us that officials from the Miss USA pageant may strip reigning Miss USA Tara Conner of her title due to "inappropriate behavior at a NYC bar." Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants, apparently told CNN that " Conner...

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This Thanksgiving it is Your Destiny to Read This Column

(15) Comments | Posted November 23, 2006 | 12:02 AM

Happy Thanksgiving. I've been expecting you.

Let me begin by saying that I am picking up that you snuck out of large family gathering seeking momentary respite in the sanctuary of your computer. You are chafing under the yoke of too much Thanksgiving based family togetherness.

It is...

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Manipulating a Narcissist: My Plan for Kim Jong Il

(36) Comments | Posted October 11, 2006 | 6:11 PM

It may not surprise you to hear that I have very little experience negotiating international policy.

I do, however, know a lot about interacting with pathological narcissists. I was raised by them and have long lived among them as I continue to study them in relative peace. In a...

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What Happens when a Lying Politican Tells the Truth

(25) Comments | Posted October 6, 2006 | 4:01 AM

Stepping past all the craziness of the current political scene in the United States for just a minute, there is an interesting object lesson about the way politics works on display in Hungary. I don't really follow Hungarian politics. I have too much staring off in to space to do....

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Worrying About all this Peace

(19) Comments | Posted September 20, 2006 | 4:08 AM

Bush gave a speech to the U.N. today in which he said "My country desires peace." Then later in the very same day Iran's President Ahmadinejad gave a speech in which he said that his nuclear program is "for peaceful purposes only." I was thinking about those two things, plus...

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