I was 18 before I came across a Duck Medallion. I was on my first real sophisticated date in a fancy restaurant and I felt like an idiot. My date knew the chef, (the venerable Yannick Cam) and thought he would score more than points by taking me on a culinary tour de France -- boy, did he have the wrong girl, I only dressed haute.
As item after item was sent to the table, we both became awkwardly aware that I ate none of it. And, in "quelle grande idiote" fashion, I said something like, "Uh, does he have chicken?" For the first time in my life, I realized my palate was not only unsophisticated, it was an untrained loser.
After being dropped off, starving and cosmically detested by chefs everywhere, I found a late night McDonalds and had a serious talk with my big mac; he and I would have a more limited relationship. It was now my responsibility to change my palate's destiny.
By the age of 12, if your child is still ordering pasta with "butter sauce" in a restaurant, you as a parent are pretty much to blame.
Don't boo me out yet, you're just one of many whose child's 'I-want-to-eat-what-I-want-to-eat' condition snuck up and wacked your judgement.
My husband and I hear it all the time, "oh, moan moan, my child is so picky..."
First, I'd like to dispel "picky" as a bad word. To be picky is actually a good thing. I'm "picky" about the shoes on my feet. Imagine what I wouldn't allow in my mouth.
What you really mean to say is: my child's eating habits are "hindered," "untrained" or in extreme cases -- "suck." I'm not just preaching from the pulpit of poo-pooing plain pasta, I was that kid, but now, as a mother, like every parent, I want better for my children.
If you wrap your head around the idea: that your attitude and your relationship with food is where it all begins... and, if you persevere when the "I don't like that" monster rears it's head, your child will not only make the right food choices as they mature, they will also find themselves proudly grooving in the foodie world with the other gastronauts.
While many believe eating is an intimate act, in our family we also view it as a sport. We train and train hard. I am now so proficient my stomach could win medals.
Really though, it's just like anything else; you train your child to use the potty, you train your child to have manners (well hopefully), to cross the street, to obey their teachers, not to talk to strangers, etc...
Everything they learn comes from you and when they are especially young, they want to be just like you. If you don't eat your greens, then guess what? Diverse eating habits do not come naturally, you must teach them how to eat by example. Armchair warriors who expect Johnny to snack on fruit or nuts while they gorge on chips and dip is probably not -- good strategy.
I scratch my head at financially fortunate parents who give their child the advantages of piano lessons, ballet classes, private coaching etc... but neglect education in the art of food and proper dining etiquette. I'm not talking hoity toity, I'm talking basics -- what you put in your mouth is important, how to behave during dinner, and why it's not ok to throw food on the floor -- that sort of thing.
Thankfully, this country caught the culinary fever. The increased number of cooking shows, blogs, and recipe books proves it's a fast-growing community and you're not doing your soon-to-be-young-adult any favors if you've cultured their musical talent, brain, and sport ability -- but since you didn't insist that they eat a proper dinner -- properly, your babies end up looking like real gits during a business dinner with the boss.
Sadly I see it too often, diners ordering the best of stuff, with one exception: "Oh, I couldn't eat that... Can you make sure the lamb does not touch the (cringe) sprouts?" Or they refuse to eat pork belly (but bacon's OK), can't eat fish (but shrimp's OK), then feign "allergy" to anything with roots, anything green and cheese "that stinks."
Sorry, but truth be told, 'the eaters' kinda make fun of you. So parents, you if want your baby to play in the good sandbox, know it's not too late to sway their gustatory organ in favor of the food gods.
Children learn through repetition. You must give their tongue enough time to become accustomed to a flavor (it takes about 17 times before that happens); they'll come around. Be strong.
Limit sugar as early as you can. It's in everything, not just sweets; sausages soaked in maple, honey in bread, agave in cookies. Yes, these are natural, but if your child is 'accustomed' (see above) to a sweeter taste, then suddenly true bread is too bland.
Eat what your family eats. Children's menus are a grotesque invention. We don't allow our children to order from the 'kids' menu (unless at The Majestic -- same food, only smaller.) They order politely from the main menu and eat family dinner, just like everyone else -- it's the only way to teach children not to be fussy about food.
Serve a new food with one they already like. It just makes it easier "to make friends."
Talk about food positively. Don't say things like "I hate cooking, it's such a chore to clean up," blah blah... "Oh, its too hard to make, lets just order out"... or "I'm so fat, I have to diet!" (then order freaky foods that come in boxes). Instead, one day a week, make a commitment for the entire family to produce a beautiful meal at dinnertime.
Yes, all of this takes work, time and effort, but ask yourself, "Why did we have kids again?" Really, if you commit to them and give them culinary adventurism, I promise you, they will become better humans, respect food -- and enjoy every bite.
Children's nutrition: 10 tips for picky eaters - MayoClinic.com
Feeding the Picky Eater: 17 tips | Dr. Sears Official Website ...
How to Handle Kids' Picky Eating | LiveScience
Feeding Disorders and Picky Eating in Infants and Children
Picky Eaters? They Get It From You - New York Times
Recipes for Picky Eaters - Easy Picky Eater Recipes for Kids and ...
We're lucky that he likes all dairy products, most fruits, the occasional veggie, and pasta with red sauce. If you give him ketchup, he'll eat most meats. But he WILL go hungry rather than eat something he doesn't like. We don't resort to chicken nuggets or pizza or hot dogs and we don't cook him separate meals. But the generalization is simply incorrect.
My wife used to work some evenings, and on those nights I'd take my young son to the supermarket, and he'd help me pick out the weirdest thing we could find to take home, figure out how to cook, and then consume. As a child, he tucked into rabbit, ostrich, alligator, and worked his way through most of the fish counter. It made me a better cook, too. At 17, he's now the most vocal proponent of buying veal brains, and doping out how to prepare them properly.
Yeah, I have no idea why your kid is picky, honey.
All around the world kids eat many types of food, yet in America they are fussy. This is 100% because of the parents.
Are there truly picky eaters? Maybe, I don't know. There certainly could be some genetic disease out there that makes it impossible for certain people to eat certain things. But I find it hard to believe this disease afflicts most of the kids in America.
Teaching children to eat involves calm, positive exposure-based training, over and over and over saying, "Yes, the duck medallion is edible, and that's what we're having to eat," with no backing down. Don't cave to temper tantrums. While it's good to stay positive, "positive" does not mean not being firm; parents have to lay out clear rules that say some kinds of behavior -- food refusal, picking your nose in public, beating up other kids on the playground -- are not acceptable.