Thinking about saying yes to the dress? Bring your P.M.A.
We've been engaged for months. I've been dating my fiancé since college. I can't wait to get married. But the concept of going wedding dress shopping made me so extremely nervous. I kept thinking how am I going to pick the right dress? And worse, what if I pick the wrong one? I was having so much trouble picturing my dream dress.
Sitting here writing this now, being scared to death of trying on gorgeous white gowns sounds like a pretty ridiculous problem to have. I was just so overwhelmed with making a decision, and I began to over-prepare. I created a board of wedding dresses on Pinterest. I subscribed to tons of bridal magazines and downloaded iPad apps. I bought a notebook and filled it with ideas. I called for prices. I booked appointments. I watched every episode of "Say Yes to the Dress."
Have you seen the women on that show? They are intense about their wedding dresses. Most of them say they have been dreaming about this day their entire lives. As a little girl, I didn't picture myself in a wedding dress. Sure, I played with Barbies and liked wearing pretty clothes, but I never started planning my wedding. When I was a little girl, I imagined myself as a grown woman who wears a business suit and carries a briefcase (seriously, I made my mom and dad get me a briefcase). So, now, as a grown woman (sans briefcase), I was having a tough time finding my dream dress because I never dreamed about it.
So here I was in the car with my mother and two sisters on our way to the bridal boutiques where I made appointments. I had to put down the window; I needed air. That's when my younger sister Nina reminded me about my P.M.A. This is something she has been preaching for years: Positive Mental Attitude. Really, I thought. Are you serious? But she was right, I was being so negative that I pretty much had written off the idea that I would ever find a dress (I even told a bridal shop where I booked an appointment that I had no intention of buying a dress that day). At that point, I decided to leave my notes in the car and just go into the appointment with an open mind.
By the time I was in the changing room and trying on my first fit and flare (I think that's what they call it) gown, I was having fun. So were my sisters and mother, mainly because they made me try on Bella's dress from the "Twilight" movie (no, that wasn't the dress for me).
I loved so many dresses that I tried on (I have no idea why those woman on "Say Yes to the Dress" complain and say every other dress is ugly). I even loved the big, poofy ones that I literally couldn't walk in (not the type of dress for me either). The final dress I tried on at my second appointment ended up being the one. I love it, and I can't wait to wear it. There were no tears like you usually see on TV (thank goodness for that), but we clapped and hugged. At the suggestion of my youngest sister, Lydia, we "danced our way out." All in all, it was a very fun, easy day. No pressure. I might not have had a dream wedding dress to begin with, but I ended up finding the one for me.
So my advice to any woman out there like me who is worried about finding the dress: 1. Bring your P.M.A. and 2. Have fun with it. It sounds simple, but once I stopped pressuring myself to find the perfect dress, I found it.
Now on to the shoes. I think I'm getting flats?
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I'm looking forward to wearing it, anyway, and that's what makes me happy and positive about the choice, even though the first fitting has yet to come: crossing my fingers!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, and my best wishes.
Giuditta, from Italy.
I enjoyed reading it