I am 22-year-old chick who just got her first job working in production at a cable network. It's what I went to school for and what I really like doing. The only thing is, I really don't feel like I am making my mark on the shows I am working on. I did some really impressive work the past few years and I am feeling frustrated and want to scream at my bosses for not giving me the opportunity I think I should have right now. Should I stay put or look for another job?
- Name Withheld, Los Angeles
#Bitchplease, who do you think you are? The first thing wrong is you, not your boss. Your sense of entitlement is more than a bit off-putting and immature. Let me give you a crash course on how it works, and it's very simple: Pay your dues! I can only assume, having been on TV myself, that you are on the bottom of the totem pole. At this point in your career, you are here to make things work and make it happen for your bosses. No one wants to hear your complaints, except maybe your girlfriend at a two-for-one happy hour.
As for switching jobs at this point, you'll only be making a lateral job switch at best. You won't get that power you so desperately seek, and job hopping at this age won't be viewed that well on a resume. Trust me, you have a lot to learn. Sure, your college projects may be crazy amazing, but you're in the real word now. Work hard, get experience and write me in a few years when you may have ample credentials for your next job.
I am the president and a founding member of my charity and elections are coming up. I have been at the helm for six years and suddenly one of my closest friends, who also happens to be involved in the charity and is also a founding member, has expressed to other members that she would like to have my spot. Quite frankly, she doesn't deserve the position and I would like to discuss this with her. What do you think is the best approach to start a discussion of this delicate matter? Thank you.
- Miriam G, Chicago
Well, first of all, last time I checked, charities are not dictatorships -- at least they're not supposed to be. While I understand you are a founding member and the president, at the risk of offending you, you have to continue to prove that you are worthy of such a position instead of believing you deserve it.
What I suggest you do is make one of those glorious spreadsheets and highlight everything you have done on behalf of the charity that led to impressive financials. At the end of the day your accomplishments on paper are what will garner votes.
I would also -- in a non-threatening way, if you are capable of that -- take your friend out for a glass of wine (everything is better over a drink, unless you're Ramona Singer) and discuss the rumors you've heard. Whether your friend denies this or fesses up, it really does not matter. Whip out your iPad with those listed accomplishments you've prepared and ask her if this is something she really wants to pursue.
I just entered med school and I decided to bunk with my college roommate. I did lots of investigating and leg work and found us an incredible deal on an apartment in the Village close to school, and immediately put a deposit on it. I told my roommate I was going to take the bedroom with the closet and he flipped out. He feels that I have a better arrangement and that it's unfair. I disagree, because I'm the one that found the place. Thoughts?
- Aaron S. New York City
This isn't about being entitled because you found the place -- you did this out of the kindness of your heart for both of you, not just yourself, right? That being said, having a conversation about specific living arrangements prior to finding the apartment obviously did not take place, and we all know that a great deal in New York City must be secured immediately. Unfortunately, that left one of you without a bedroom closet.
The best way to handle this is to have a conversation with your roommate, explain your position and see if your roommate is okay with your logic: you did all the work finding the apartment and so you feel it's only fair you get a bonus, the closet. If he doesn't come around, probably the fairest way to handle it is for you to pay a bit more rent. That should make him feel better and with the money he saves he can purchase an armoire to store his stuff.
Feeling entitled and need advice? Jump to the front of the line by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org