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Ask Michael Cohen: How to Be Summer Suited at Any Size or Price

Posted: 06/20/2011 12:06 pm

I have recently lost a lot of weight, 140 pounds actually, though I am still on the plus size. I'm about a size 16 and ready, for the first time in a long time, to hit the beach. I want to ditch my bathing suits with a skirt that I used to wear around my parents' pool and rock a really cute suit. Do you have any thick girl recommendations?
Mel R, Miami Fl

Coming from Miami, you must really go crazy seeing all those Brazilian girls run around in their barely-there bikinis. I can't take seeing all those guys with chiseled bodies, it makes me crazy and not in a good way. Alas, I am here to give you advice, not woe about my fading abs.

With that said, it's time to think budget. You sound like a girl that may be hungry to lose more weight and by next summer may be a size six, which means you shouldn't spend money on luxury that won't fit soon.

This leopard print halter suit from Old Navy is sophisticated considering where it's coming from. Its strategic ruching hides those problem areas and the longer body provides more coverage. But it's the knotted halter-top and fabric covered O-ring accent that has me sold. It also doubles as an accent piece to pair with black shorts and a light cardigan.

Equally as attractive is this Missoni-esque one-piece from Merona that I found at Target. It's $19.98, but I swear you could tell me it cost $100 and at first sight I would believe you. The zigzag pattern in black and turquoise is right on summer's tribal trend. But the real steal is this perfectly pleasing paisley tankini from Merona that's $11.48. I mean seriously, it costs less than my lunch.

Lastly, a la poolside, spike that Diet Coke with some Bacardi Zero!

I'm recently divorced, in my late forties, with two daughters, and a lot of jiggle around my midsection. Despite the rampant dating statistics that were not working in my favor, recently I met a lovely well-to-do gentleman. Here is the quandary. He has invited me along with a gaggle of his sophisticated friends on his yacht. What is this middle-aged mom with flab to wear? Thanks. Anne O, Long Island

I love your self-awareness and nothing is more beautiful than that. Okay, that's all the sap in me, now let's get really shallow. Flab is not attractive especially while lounging on a yacht, nibbling on fancy food and drinking champagne.

If there is one bathing suit this season that epitomizes yacht chic, it would be, not surprisingly so, from Michael Kors. His wrap-around maillot (a fancy word for one-piece) is Sporty meets glamour, which will bring out a youthful sophistication. I love the brown leather trim, which is S&M-esque, and, hey, it may bring out another side of you. And although Mr. Kors did not include a whip, feel free to accessorize this bathing suit with some chunky wood or gold bangles.

For some more va-va-voom, make your entrance and sashay around the yacht with these ridiculously insane Yves Saint Laurent Baobab python wedges. The color combination of gray, olive, orange and white will turn up the heat, but may freeze your credit card as they cost $2000.

I'm not a bad looking guy and recently lost about 100-pounds. Now I'm working out and I have a certain level of new found swag. I'm 6'2, 200 pounds and I am also "blessed" if you know what I mean. What should I wear to the pool and beaches this summer? Andrew P, New York City

Boy oh boy, someone is ready to take a dive into the deep end. Do it in style with a square cut bathing suit, not the baggy board shorts which are the culprit of causing a saggy behind and gasp, hiding the bulge!

I am a huge fan of men's bathing suits by Sundek. They have the perfect square cut that hits just above mid-thigh. Their suits are not too tight nor too loose, which will make you feel just sexy enough. This summer am all about their plaid swim trunks that are perfectly suited for beach days.

If you're feeling daring (I still haven't gotten there but would like to) slip on these Dolce & Gabbana Hawaiian-print shorts. The black and white print keeps it sophisticated, as does the hardware, always the defining details on luxury swim wear.

And one more thing, you may need to check the real size of your manhood. I suspect you have a few issues to work through before you're really ready to show off the new you.

For instant answers on how to live a well-suited life visit askmichaelcohen.com or leave a comment here.

 

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