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Con Games: Tea Party Coloring Book No Joke

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The pen may be mightier than the sword, but for the Great American Glop that is the Tea Party nothing works better than crayons.

No Communist Manifesto is necessary for the Tea Party--no major work of intellectual firepower meant to blow history out of the water. After all, the Tea Party as we now know it was born of gasping CNBC reporter Rick Santelli chucking the mantle of objectivity and ranting like a banshee on the floor of the stock exchange. Those who try to find the meaning of the Tea Party in written records will one day be referred to doctored video decreed by the reactionary forces of sundry Southern school boards. In the meantime, those determined to grok the Baggers need look no further than the "very pleasant song, coloring and activity book on Liberty, Faith, Freedom and so much more."

That's right: the seminal historical text explicating the Tea Party is a coloring and "activity" book.

According to The Guardian in London, we have Really Big Coloring Books in Missouri to thank for this timeless version of educational dystopia.

"We have sold many thousands," said Really Big publisher Wayne Bell--and why the bleep not? The Tea Party Coloring Book for Kids goes for just $3.59 online and teaches kids of all ages, including parents, "about the origins of the Tea Party and what it involves," including self-reliance, freedom of choice, work, government-of-for-by the people, Leadership, Ingenuity, Jobs and responsibility!"

On a page devoted to coloring in the American flag, the book opines: "The Tea Party calls upon our representatives to limit the government's role in everyday life, and to support people and businesses, but not demand from, control or over tax the people or businesses."

The Tea Party Coloring book should not be used to teach American children the nuances of grammar, but who needs words when there's always another page to fill? The key message: "The government should never become a burden in our lives."

The Tea Party Coloring Book is blowing Really Big's book about President Barack Obama out of the water, perhaps because the skin color of an uncolored character is always white. For whatever reason, the Tea Party Coloring Book is a really big hit. The publisher no doubt assumes his customers already have the crayons on hand.