Contrary to the fundamental ageism of our society, it is possible to live well in old age. Yes, there are financial, physical, and emotional challenges, but there are also great opportunities to be a productive worker -- paid or volunteer -- who takes pleasure in being effective and in spending time with coworkers, to be a good parent, spouse, lover or friend; to contribute to your community, nation or even the developing world; to enjoy sports, the arts or travel; to discover new interests and cultivate new skills. Time may be comparatively short; but many older people finally have time for more than the daily grind.
There is a remarkable array of opportunities for those of us who are old, but not without our mental health. To say that depression, anxiety and cognitive decline are enemies of achieving the potential of old age is too abstract. Imagine instead what these conditions mean.
These are all symptoms of mental illness, and isn't it obvious that they are enormous barriers to living well as you age?
What can you do if you or a person you care about experiences such symptoms and is finding life difficult?
There is no easy answer. Nothing beats being active and involved, and some people with mental or substance use disorders are lucky enough to be able to recognize the need for changes in their lives and act accordingly -- with or without friendly persuasion.
But depression and anxiety tend to create a vicious cycle. The more depressed and frightened you are, the less likely you are to be active and involved; and the less active and involved you are, the more likely you are to be depressed or frightened. Then it's time to get help. Does that have to be some form of therapy? Not necessarily. Some people can get what they need through spiritual experience or meditation. Some get it from peers who are there for them or from aging services providers. But many older adults can benefit from medication and/or psychotherapy from their physician, a local clinic or a mental health professional in private practice. (Call 1-800-273-TALK for information about local mental health services.)
Sadly, some people just refuse to acknowledge that they need help and, as a result, lose out on rich opportunities to live well in old age, which -- to say it again -- is possible, but not without your mental health.
(This article is coauthored by Kimberly Williams, co-founder and Director of the Geriatric Mental Health Alliance of New York.)
Follow Michael Friedman, L.M.S.W. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/mbfriedman395
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The rosy future suggested as possible does not sync up with the deteriorating conditions in our society. I tell people (many giving me quizzical looks), I am glad I wasn’t born any later. I have no real access to mental health care. I am not interested in living any longer than I should. What frightens me is that they won’t give me the morphine when the time comes. That’s assuming I get admitted to a hospital. The World Health Organization ranks our health care as 37th in the world.
A close friend recently lost his father to Alzheimer’s and related complications. I lost my mother to the same over two years ago. Both were in hospice at the end. I wanted the suffering over with. My friend talked about bringing his Dad home. When he said “hospice” I knew that was it. Game over.
It’s not as simple as making lemonade out of a lemon. Several years ago, I attended a free seminar for insomniacs. An M.D. stood and said verbatim, “If you are thinking of problems which are keeping you awake at night, you must not think of those problems.” I recall this so distinctly because of its outrageous absurdity while I sometimes can’t remember what I had for dinner the previous night.
As a nation our dysfunction in health care is systemic and not likely to improve, Obamacare notwithstanding.
I don't have to imagine too much of what you write -- I live a lot of it and am old enemies with the vicious
cycle you describe. But for someone approaching Medicare age next year (and having lacked health insurance for more than 15 years) I haven't had access to most of the options you mention. Except medication, which I don't personally believe is the best one.
I guess I'm fortunate in that I still have some passions which can lift the veil temporarily. Lots of good causes need volunteers--and I've always been ready to help out -- but one has to be able to leave the house....
I recently participated in a phone health survey sponsored by the State of NM and the CDC; when I heard one of the final questions: " Do you feel you have emotional support (always) (usually) (sometimes) (rarely) (never) " I simply broke into tears.
Your prognosis for me and others in similar situations is depressing in itself....
Perhaps just educating people that when they retire or grow older they will need to adjust to not going to work each day to serve a purpose. That yes, one day soon your death date is approaching and you may become depressed about this. Yes, your brain and other bodily functions will start to deteriorate, and this can be depressing and give us anxious feelings. Yes, your kids have their own families and don't need you anymore or perhaps your children didn't turn out so well and are using your funds to support their nasty habits.
Life happens. We grow old, our stuff doesn't work good anymore. (wait there is Viagra)
Enjoy what you did, have no regrets. Don't worry about what society deems important to you. As long as you are happy with what you did.
Thank God you made it this far, have a swig of scotch and put your depends on.
Life sucks (sometimes) and we all die.
PS John Forbes Nash jr looks pretty good for a schizophrenic and my mother is 73 and a revolving door patient. Only the Lithium has not let her age so well.
Well I have all those feelings if I just see Glen Becks face or Sara Palin's face.
Is that normal to feel such a surge of anger and depression all at once from the very thought of them having access to others through the Media ?
moreover, you will find that increasingly that approach is falling out of favor
nowadays there's much more in the way of "lifetime talking to the shrink"
not that I approve of that either
the answer to the "why" of your question is obvious: the money is found in pharma, psychiatry is by definition in their pocket, and psychology keeps close ties (2/3 of people editing the DSM-V get money from pharma)
This is the 'sandwich generation'; with responsibilities of caring for their aging parents or their siblings (80+); and children (30+) and grandchildren. Those who don't have the 80+ to care, likely have more grandchildren to worry.
Yet hope is not lost for THOSE willing to sacrifice (with love); GIVE AND TAKE. Those unwilling to sacrifice should not be rewarded for their "poor choices".
In my town, I see 'sandwich generation' physically moving with one or other, whom they have to care for. Thus all significantly reduce cost of two roofs; using their resources and savings (one home) to provide for supportive and caring family(ies).
There's one situation that I delight to monitor as a role model. This is a widowed grandmother 60+ who "cares for" her two-earner son's family and children. She also has "adopted" (mutual) an unrelated 80+ old couple. Here's a "trans-generational family", where everyone gains. They have three roofs. This multi-skilled 'unit' has weathered many storms - major repeat surgeries, cancer, death. Others such units also manage well, instead of moaning their situation and expecting a handout or services from govt.
We should highlight such models for America's future. Sociologists, economists and progressives should encourage the media and govt about such options; which brings people / America together; instead of pitting one generation against another; in a scramble for diminishing financial resources.
Govt could help the 60+, with Medicare eligibility for 55+.
So, why not go for the Scooby-Doo ending? Keep yourself mentally lively, a la George Burns. Have a cigar, and a glass of brandy, every day. And do some things that are interesting, and maybe mentally challenging for you. Go back to school. Read. Write. Do things that are creative, and require some concentration. Get your rest, eat well, and squash the worry bug.
If we're lucky, we get something like 75-80 years out of this life. Why spend one day of any of them in a state of mental misery or low function? The body needs good food, and regular exercise, to keep good function of the organs, muscle tone, bone health, and so forth. Get up, get out, get some sunshine(don't get hit by a car, drivers with cellphones are out there), but frolic and revel in the day nonetheless.
Ponder this question: What makes you happy? Once you know, go do that. (offer not available in all states, other conditions and restrictions may apply, see store for details, offer ends as soon as you finish reading this).