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Michael Gilmour

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Top 10 Zombie Scenes in the Bible

Posted: 07/05/2012 7:20 am

Zombies loom large in popular culture these days. Max Brooks' "World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War" (2006), the Jane Austen, Seth Grahame-Smith mashup "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" (2009), and Melissa Marr's "Graveminder" (2011), to name but a few recent novels, enjoy a wide readership. There are also graphic novels, the AMC television show "The Walking Dead," video games, and of course movies. Some of my recent favorites in the latter category include the Norwegian Nazis-as-zombies film "Dead Snow" (2009) with its delightful tagline "Ein! Zwei! Die!" and Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon's "The Cabin in the Woods" (2012). With all of this going on, there is little surprise to come across the open-source, collaborative Stinque Zombie Bible. It was just a matter of time, I suppose, and the King James Bible will never be quite the same.

I am an unabashed zombie fan but also teach "classic" English literature and the New Testament so I can't quite bring myself to desecrate the literary and religious masterpiece that is the Authorized (King James) Version by contributing to the Zombie Bible. Still, wanting to get into the spirit of things, I can't resist noting a few biblical scenes and themes -- a top 10 list -- that come to mind each time I watch or read the latest version of the zombie apocalypse to come along. At least in some passages, a zombie-Bible mashup requires very little editorial interference.

1. The Gospel of Luke: "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen" (Luke 24:5). Such a suggestive phrase. Note also that the angels asking the question and those they address are standing inside a tomb at the time (Luke 24:2-4).

2. The Book of Revelation: "the sea gave up the dead that were in it" (Revelation 20:13). John the Seer's creepy statement reminds me of a scene in George A. Romero's "Land of the Dead" (2005) that features slow-moving corpses walking out of the surf, and Max Brooks' "World War Z" with its account of the boy returning from a swim with a bite mark on his foot. He also describes the zombie hoards roaming the world's oceans: "They say there are still somewhere between twenty and thirty million of them, still washing up on beaches, or getting snagged in fisherman's nets."

3. Deuteronomy: "Your corpses shall be food for every bird of the air and animal of the earth, and there shall be no one to frighten them away" (Deuteronomy 28:25-26; cf. 2 Samuel 21:10; Psalm 79:1-2; Isaiah 34:2-3; Jeremiah 7:33). The ancients worried about the exposure of their body after death. Improper care of one's corpse was a terrifying prospect, so it is no wonder it features in prophetic warnings of divine wrath. Qoheleth insists that even though a man lives a long life and has many children, if he "has no burial ... a stillborn child is better off than he" (Ecclesiastes 6:3). The indignity of non-burial presumably accounts for the honor bestowed on the poor man Lazarus in Jesus' parable; the rich man receives proper burial but Lazarus "was carried away by the angels to be with Abraham" (Luke 16:22) because there was no one to care for his remains.

4. The Book of Job: "Why is light given to one in misery, and life to the bitter in soul, who long for death, but it does not come, and dig for it more than for hidden treasures...?" (Job 3:20-21). Job is angry he did not die at birth (3:11), adding that he loathes his life and does not want to live forever (7:16). Others prefer death to life out of principled anger against God, like the prophet Jonah (4:3; cf. 4:8). Physical death eludes a surprising number of people in the Christian Bible, and this is not always a welcome thing. The prophet John refers to some who "seek death but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will flee from them" (Revelation 9:6). The prospect of an elusive death, as every zombie fan knows, terrorizes the living. The "stricken" Charlotte Lucas in "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" agrees to marry the tedious and obsequious minister Mr. Collins because she wants "a husband who will see to [her] proper Christian beheading and burial." This is no small task for most survivors left with such a grim assignment, as Shaun well knows: "I don't think I got it in me to shoot my flat mate, my mom, and my girlfriend all in the same evening" ("Shaun of the Dead," 2004).

5. The Gospel of Matthew: "The tombs also were opened, and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised. After [Jesus'] resurrection they came out of the tombs and entered the holy city and appeared to many" (Matthew 27:52-53). Unwanted persistent life is a recurring image in biblical literature and so too is language referring to the impermanence of bodily death. The dead do not stay dead. The psalmist is confident he will not "see decay" (Psalm 16:10 New International Version; cf. Acts 2:27; 13:35). We read of the physical resurrections of specific individuals (e.g., 1 Kings 17:17-24; Luke 8:49-56; maybe Acts 20:7-12) and expected mass revivals (e.g., 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17). Some of these accounts of un-dying involve reference to un-burying. Mary and Martha's brother Lazarus walks out of his tomb when "they took away the stone" (John 11:41). On Easter morning, mourners find "the stone, which was very large, had already been rolled back" (Mark 16:4). A second century writer describes further the events preceding Jesus' emergence from the tomb: "That stone which had been laid against the entrance to the sepulchre started of itself to roll and gave way to the side, and the sepulchre was opened" (Gospel of Peter 9.35).

6. Ezekiel: Ezekiel receives a vision promising the restoration of Israel (37:11). Seeing a valley full of bones, the Lord instructs him to speak to them, saying, "O dry bones ... I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. I will lay sinews on you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live" (37:4-6). When Ezekiel does so, "there was a noise, a rattling" as bones come together and sinew and skin appears and the breath of life returns. The dry bones "lived, and stood on their feet, a vast multitude" (37:7-10).

7. Zechariah: "their flesh shall rot while they are still on their feet; their eyes shall rot in their sockets, and their tongues shall rot in their mouths" (Zechariah 14:12). They seem to resemble extras in a George A. Romero film.

8. The Gospel of Mark: "hell, where their worm never dies" (Mark 9:48; alluding here to Isaiah 66:24). Gehenna (here symbolically representing "hell," and usually translated so, as in Mark 9:44, 45, 47) refers to the Valley of Hinnom located to the south and southwest of Jerusalem. Following the reign of Israel's righteous King Josiah (see 2 Kings 23:10-14), it became Jerusalem's garbage heap, a place with maggots and rotting corpses. Jesus refers to this burning garbage in Mark 9:48, a place where residents of the city would leave the rotting corpses of humans and animals to the worms that do not die, to maggots. The image suggests the corpses of the damned rot in gehenna/hell -- maggot ridden -- in perpetuity.

9. 2 Maccabees: "[Antiochus IV Epiphanes] was seized with a pain in his bowels, for which there was no relief, and with sharp internal tortures -- and that very justly, for he had tortured the bowels of others with many and strange inflictions ... he fell out of his chariot as it was rushing along, and the fall was so hard as to torture every limb of his body. ... the ungodly man's body swarmed with worms, and while he was still living in anguish and pain, his flesh rotted away, and because of the stench the whole army felt revulsion at his decay. Because of his intolerable stench no one was able to carry the man who a little while before had thought that he could touch the stars of heaven" (2 Maccabees 9:5-6, 7, 9-10). The Syrian ruler's physical body rots away zombie-like while he still lives. The cause is divine, as the God of Israel strikes this enemy of the Jews with "an incurable and invisible blow" (2 Maccabees 9:5).

10. Genesis with the Book of Revelation: "the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep"; "the first heaven and the first earth has passed away, and the sea was no more" (Genesis 1:2; Revelation 21:1). With the disappearance of chaos, Eden returns: "On either side of the river is the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit" (Revelation 22:2; cf. Genesis 2:9). Horrors stories often wander back and forth between forms of paradise (ordered society) and chaos (some variant of an apocalyptic hellscape) thus recalling biblical stories with similar alternations. Zombie stories typically depict the disintegration of the modern world, and often hint at a return from the wilderness to the paradisiacal garden for survivors (cf. Genesis 3:23-24). Danny Boyle's "28 Days Later" (2002), for one, ends with a developing romance between Jim and Salina, happy in the cultivated lands around a cottage that echoes Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The sequel "28 Weeks Later" (2007), however, depicts a failed attempt to restore Eden. After the spread of the disastrous infection in the first film, the sequel documents efforts to repopulate the United Kingdom. Survivors return to their homeland, to what the director's commentary refers to as "a new world" and a "Garden of Eden." Naturally, mayhem ensues and the infection spreads as the movie unfolds. It wouldn't be much of a horror movie otherwise.

 
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
iaov
Reality is demonstrable.
02:06 PM on 07/17/2012
Zombies, talking donkeys, dragons, witches, talking snakes , giants, 7 headed beasts. Isn't it painfully obvious that these are the stuff of fairy tales? And not very well told ones at that.
07:10 PM on 07/13/2012
Great to see a sense of humour regarding the bible.
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Andres64
Religion is a sectually transmitted disease.
06:30 AM on 07/07/2012
Religion a la Eddie Izzard
http://youtu.be/yCIvmdABBnU
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03:38 AM on 07/09/2012
Hahahaha!
03:14 AM on 07/06/2012
If you take the bible as a work of fiction, as an atheist like me, instead of being stupidly offended by it the book is an interesting read. I think the King James version should be required reading in literature class like Greek mythology is. Yet just because you are reading about Jesus and Moses instead of Zeus and Hades stupid people get ludicrously offended.
03:13 AM on 07/06/2012
If corpses routinely reanimated like the bible claims, inheritance, conjugal and succession laws, property rights etc. would have required accommodation in Jewish law. Yet no recognition of the “rights” of zombies ever existed in Jewish law. Or in Christian law for that matter: The Church father Irenaeus notoriously claimed “We even raise the dead, many of whom are still alive among us, completely healthy” – Irenaeus, “Libros Quinque Adv. Haer.”, 2.32.4
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suebeedue
06:58 AM on 07/06/2012
Altogether in Scripture, 9 people were resurrected, including Jesus Christ. Only 3 people are spoken of as being resurrected in the Hebrew portion, the rest in the Greek Scriptures. Your comment seems to imply that there were many more than this. But don't let the facts slow you down from your exaggeration!

The resurrection hope is the primary doctrine of Christians, since if the dead are not to be resurrected, then what is the sacrifice of Christ Jesus for?
07:19 AM on 07/06/2012
Only 9 people? How about the "tombs of the saints" that disgorged their dead when JC was crucified? I wonder if they went straight to heaven or went "gibbering and squeaking" on the streets of Jerusalem like the zombies in Shakespeare when Caesar was assassinated.
07:34 AM on 07/06/2012
PS: The resurrection of the dead coincided with the advent of the *Jewish* Messiah, long before Christianity appropriated the idea. But don't let that spoil your belief in Jesus' sacrifice. >>>>> Isa 26:19 "Your dead men shall live, together with my dead body shall they arise. Awake and sing, you that dwell in dust: for your dew is like the dew of herbs, and the earth shall cast out the dead."
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samearl
What is truth?
12:09 AM on 07/06/2012
It is comical.
10:30 PM on 07/05/2012
@mate556 - Jesus is more of an anti-zombie. Zombies rise from the dead and eat you. J rises from the dead and feeds you. You eat him, in communion.

Stinque is interesting, but pretty much the whole project follows a set formula. Intriguing, though.

You should check out The Zombie Bible by Stant Litore. It's a fiction series that retells biblical stories with zombies. It's deeper than it sounds.
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suebeedue
07:02 AM on 07/06/2012
No one eats Jesus in communion. The bread and the wine were "metaphors" symbolic of the sacrifice of Christ, which is not to be taken literally.
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StevenM
High School Chess Coach
08:39 AM on 07/06/2012
Actually, the Roman Catholic and other Churches teach that one is literally eating the body and drinking the blood of Christ. But even if it is only a symbolic cannibalistic rite, it is none the less a cannibalistic rite.
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StevenM
High School Chess Coach
08:10 PM on 07/06/2012
You write: "Martin Luther was a Catholic bishop before he wrote his famous 95 thesis. He condemned many of the bogus teachings of the RCC, yet held on to others, such as transubstantiation, although not a bible teaching."

You are wrong on two accounts: first, Martin Luther was never a bishop, and second, Luther did reject transubstantiation. In Luther's article "To the Christian Nobility of the German Nation" (1520) Luther referred to transubstantiation as an "illusion of St. Thomas and the pope."
10:26 PM on 07/05/2012
Stinque is a mixed bag, though a fascinating project. You should check out The Zombie Bible, a series of novels retelling biblical stories ... with zombies. http://zombiebible.blogspot.com/2011/07/books.html Some really interesting stuff.
09:31 PM on 07/05/2012
I utterly miss the point of this article. And given the number of people who commented on it - I am not alone.

So you ripped a bunch of segments out of the Bible and imagined it was referring to zombies ... I don't get it.
05:31 PM on 07/05/2012
How did you miss the biggest zombie of them all. You know the one in first corinthians around 15. Rose 3 days later, stuff like that. Jesus was a zombie. And coincidentally he is here for your brains.
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detroitblkmale30
Wise Men Still Seek Him
08:40 AM on 07/06/2012
Wrong. I'm a big fan of zombie lore. Jesus doesn't fit that narrative. Jesus resurrected in body and spirit meaning he was exactly as he was before not a mindless version. He could think and talk. He didn't eat people. He walked through a door, leaving the door intact. He ascended to heaven. No zombies don't fit that.

Get another slight that works
11:51 AM on 07/06/2012
People think he was a son of some god. He can't be a super zombie 
09:48 AM on 07/06/2012
Love it! Does religion not sound like zombies, where instead of thinking for yourself, you depend on a church official to do your thinking for you, or blindly follow a stupib book? sounds mindless to me!
03:10 PM on 07/05/2012
How did you skip the actual zombie story...where Jesus fights zombies.
A couple come out of a tomb possessed by demons in Matthew 8, so J.H Christ does some spiritual battle with them and makes them go into pigs that his runs off a cliff. Then when this explanation is offered to the people as to why all their pigs were run off a cliff to their death (due to zombie fight), the townspeople say "Will you please get out of here you lunatic!" to Jesus.

That story is one of my favorites.
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busterggi
I'm a Sally Randian
10:05 AM on 07/05/2012
Pity poor Lazarus - raised from the dead but no mention of curing his decomposition, he could never get enough deodorant to be able to socialize.
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Cindy Tregan
Proud D.F.H. Lib'rul
09:16 AM on 07/05/2012
Zombies. Ritualized Cannibalism, symbolic infant drownings... and Xtians wonder why their religion isn't so popular anymore....
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detroitblkmale30
Wise Men Still Seek Him
08:45 AM on 07/06/2012
Systemic exaggerations, mis-characterizations and a curious reference to Taoists and the anti-faithful wonder why they aren't embraced.