THE BLOG
01/14/2014 09:27 am ET | Updated Mar 16, 2014

And the 2014 Bermie Awards Go to...

Another year has passed.

  • The bearded fat guy in the red suit has made his annual visits.
  • 2013 is just a memory.
  • Another CES (Consumer Electronics Show) has ended.

This means it's time for (drum roll please) the 18th Annual Bermie Awards!

For those of you unfamiliar with this annual event, the awards are presented by a distinguished panel of experts (me, myself and I) to unsuspecting folks and companies in the technosphere who may -- or may not -- deserve them. And, for the first time in 18 years, we have a triple award winner.

The Upgrade This! Award goes to Microsoft for their quick fix for the disaster that was Windows 8 by upgrading it to another disaster, Windows 8.1. Both were marketing flops. Microsoft is hoping to quickly redeem itself by releasing Windows 9 in April of 2015.

The Most Surprising Tablet Award also goes to Microsoft for the Surface Pro 2. Although it's based on Windows RT (which is VERY SIMILAR to Windows 8) this surprised everyone in the tech community with its ease of use, speed and compatibility.

The You Bought What??? Award is the third Bermie for Microsoft. The company's acquisition of Nokia (which is one of the few manufacturers of Windows Phones) has us scratching our heads, unless it was an effort to keep the Windows Phone concept alive and under the control of the Boys in Redmond.

The Game of the Year Award goes to Ubisoft for Assassins Creed IV: Black Flag. This has got to be one of the most addictive games -- and franchises -- on the planet. In this episode, the assassin takes to the high seas as a pirate: sinking ships, taking booty and freeing slaves in the Caribbean. We played it on a Sony PS3, but it's also available for the Xbox 360, Xbox One and PS4.

The Oh No, Not Again! Award goes to T-Mobile, which is -- again -- part of a takeover saga, this time from Japan's Softbank, which owns Sprint. Several years ago the federal government stopped a merger between T-Mobile and AT&T, declaring it would create a Godzilla-type monopoly among telephone carriers. Maybe this one will go through, because, even with Sprint and T-Mobile combined, it will only create the third-largest phone company in the world.

The Monster that Wouldn't Die Award goes to Research in Motion, for continuing to throw money at their BlackBerry devices. Granted BlackBerry was once the king of the smartphones, with everyone wanting one. But, since the colossal flop of their PlayBook tablet, those days are gone, with the once fabled brand left in the ruble behind other. more progressive smartphone and tablet manufacturers.

The It Would Be Nice to See Something Truly New and Interesting Award goes to all of the exhibitors at this year's Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. Although it's always an amazing event -- boasting more than 3.200 exhibitors this year -- it was hard to find anything that was truly innovative. Everyone was showing off the latest in 4K television, 3D printing and smartphone tech, etc. (some of which have made our "gotta have it" list), but where was the truly NEW tech??? Unfortunately, it was not there or hiding behind curtain number 3.

That's it for this year. Anyone with nominations for the 19th Annual Bermies should either keep them to themselves or consult a psychiatrist to resolve their aggression problems.

Attention Facebook users: Check out Michael Berman's Jocgeek fan page at www.facebook.com/jocgeek, or follow him on Twitter @jocgeek. You can also contact him via email at jocgeek@earthlink.net or through his website at www.jocgeek.com.