2012: Keep Paying Your Bills, It's Not the End of the World

12/27/2011 10:36 am ET | Updated Feb 26, 2012



It looks as if those ancient Mayans were pretty sharp cookies after all. They figured out that this year was going to be a doozy. Unless you have been spending all your time on the dark side of the Moon, you can see that it is already happening.

Rare planetary alignments mean transformations for everybody. We can't say for sure if friendly aliens are finally going to land the mother ship with a brand new exotic shade of lipstick, but believe this: We are all in the process of changes that will affect us both globally and personally for the rest of our lives. Keep paying your bills, however. This is NOT the end of the world.


The square of Uranus to Pluto signifies a struggle between the individual and the corporate world. Protests will increase as will the efforts to repress them. Professional competition will be keener than ever. Political and economic situations will heat up, and the effects will trickle down into everybody's living room. The dollar will be struggling against the onslaught of the entire world.

As individual entrepreneurs are threatened to be swallowed up by powerful conglomerates, people will get angrier. Companies will be downsizing further and confronted by workers who feel they are being taken advantage of and that their rights are being trampled on. It's not going to be a peaceful year. Anger will rise as will the paranoia to suppress it. The ties between pharmaceutical companies and the banks will be leaked out.


The current Republican debates should be on Nick at Nite. It's a clown show, so don't believe a word.

Obama: Part of him wants out, but he's also pissed enough to keep fighting. The real power behind the thrones will be revealed as it becomes clear that much of what has been passing for democracy is actually the result of worldwide banker manipulation.


Gender roles? Women will be gaining more power and position than we can even imagine. In every corner of the world, the revolution against the patriarchy has only begun to take hold, but you'd better believe that the good ole' boys who have been conducting the orchestra and leading the music are not going to just hand over their batons without a fight.


As huge as this planetary alignment is, we have to remember that even in the greatest crisis periods, there have always been love and romance. In the heat of battle, bombs bursting, casualties falling on the field, there is still the sweet warmth and intimacy of one human being in another's arms.


The big news will be in the ocean. Oh yes, as Neptune enters Pisces, alcohol will be on the rise. Neptune and Chiron coming into the Sign of Pisces will provide that touch of magic, spirituality, and glamour to fill lives with sweet moments of fiction, music, ecstasy, and romance. So no matter what is going on in this crazy world, the beat goes on, the dance goes on, and people will still need the distraction of beauty and personal fulfillment. And THAT makes it a wild but amazing ride.


1983! (to be revealed by October)


  • Confidential to Sean Hannity (Capricorn) and Rachel Maddow (Aries) -- You two kooky kids are going to war this year. We're all going to see you battling it out on TV, but not on "Dancing With The Stars."

  • Confidential to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Scorpio) -- It's clear you have no intention of being kicked around or pushed out by anybody. With a 12th house Saturn you will, however, have to show a little mercy and compassion -- just to avoid big headaches from members in your own family.

  • Confidential to Michelle Obama (Your Sun Saturn is conjunct with Pluto in the United States horoscope) -- People don't know this yet, but over the next 10 years, you're going to become one of the most important stateswomen in U.S. history.

  • Confidential to Kim Jong Un (Born with Saturn Pluto at the end of Libra) -- You'd better perform your butt off, Buster. Elvis was born on the 8th too, and he made it without a famous father. Politics could swallow you whole.

  • Confidential to Justin Bieber (Pisces with Pluto at the end of Scorpio) -- You're a Pisces, for God's sake. Act like one. You've said that you shouldn't have sex with someone unless you love them. Obviously you've never been in a bar at 3 a.m. Besides, all it takes is the first sip of the second martini and everybody looks good.

  • Confidential to the Pope -- As an Aries, just make sure your head doesn't explode from all the pressure.


(A message to Carrie Seim - You can attach any celebrity to these signs that you want.)

Aries/Aries Rising

ONGOING CHALLENGE: You against the world

LESSON TO LEARN: Listening to people

POINT OF JOY: Financial security

BALANCE TO ACHIEVE: Between scattered restlessness and a calm mind

NEWEST WRINKLE: Return to true spirituality

Taurus/Taurus Rising

ONGOING CHALLENGE: A struggle between conscience and the rules

LESSON TO LEARN: There are no shortcuts


NEW WRINKLE: Your contribution to Humanity

Gemini / Gemini Rising

ONGOING CHALLENGE: Living freely despite fear of the future

LESSON TO LEARN: What is love?

POINT OF JOY: You have an angel looking over your shoulder

BALANCE TO ACHIEVE: Between narcissistic fight for independence and appreciation of others

NewEST Wrinkle: Glamour or scandal in career

Cancer/Cancer Rising

ONGOING CHALLENGE: Professional independence vs. public opinion

LESSON TO LEARN: The pointlessness of clinging

POINT OF JOY: A friend is worth a million

BALANCE TO ACHIEVE: Between escape and work

NEW WRINKLE: Belief in forces you cannot see or understand

Leo / Leo Rising

ONGOING CHALLENGE: Taking off when you feel like vs. sticking to a job

LESSON TO LEARN: Being real in communication

POINT OF JOY: Career and friends

BALANCE TO ACHIEVE: Between calling it friendship when it's really love

NEWEST WRINKLE: The business of sexuality

Virgo/Virgo Rising

ONGOING CHALLENGE: Sex, but always with love

LESSON TO LEARN: Financial prudence

POINT OF JOY: A brilliant mind

BALANCE TO ACHIEVE: Fulfilling home and biz life

NEWEST WRINKLE: Setting boundaries for gorgeous people

Libra/Libra Rising

ONGOING CHALLENGE: Being on your own, being in relationships

LESSON TO LEARN: Staying centered and positive

POINT OF JOY: Financial support, personal magnetism and creativity

BALANCE TO ACHIEVE: Silence and communication

NEW WRINKLE: Selfless service and spiritual approach to health

Scorpio/Scorpio Rising

ONGOING CHALLENGE: Speaking your mind and risking your job

LESSON TO LEARN: Surrender to faith

POINT OF JOY: Someone in your life

BALANCES TO ACHIEVE: Art and business

NEW WRINKLE: Honest emotions

Sagittarius / Sagittarius Rising

ONGOING CHALLENGE: To have adventure despite the cost

LESSON TO LEARN: Friendship means letting go

POINT OF JOY: Better health and good working conditions

BALANCE TO ACHIEVE: Strong sense of independent self and sensitivity to others

NEWEST WRINKLE: More family family family (living near water)

Capricorn/Capricorn Rising

ONGOING CHALLENGE: Staying in control in domestic turmoil

LESSON TO BE LEARNED: Dealing with authority figures

POINT OF JOY: Love, children, performing

BALANCE TO ACHIEVE: Between grind of daily work and intimate, free time

NEWEST WRINKLE: Pain caused by siblings but keeping faith in them and developing your poetic voice

Aquarius/Aquarius Rising

ONGOING CHALLENGE: To keep forging ahead despite feeling it's too late and pointless

LESSON TO BE LEARNED: Justice and fairness are not absolutes

POINT OF JOY: Home and family

BALANCE TO ACHIEVE: Between friendship and love

NEWEST WRINKLE: The mystery of wealth

Pisces/Pisces Rising

ONGOING CHALLENGE: Financial independence versus group cooperation

LESSON TO LEARN: Controlling passions and conquering death anxiety

POINT OF JOY: Keeping close to people you can talk to

BALANCE TO ACHIEVE: Between retreating into your world and being professionally present

NEW WRINKLE: Owning your identity and being proud of your idiosyncrasies and talent

For more on 2012, visit