I am not making this up.
We are spending about half our time now in Nashville.
We have a condo.
The condo has DirecTV
Cable... satellite. Who can tell? It's all the same. (Yeah, I have seen the ads).
Our cable bill in NY runs to $190 a month.
And what are our choices?
How many times have you flipped through the guide and said "there is nothing to watch"?
Last night, I was so astonished at the range of options that I took a photo of some of them to share.
Here they are:
Brazil Butt Lift
Best Vacuum Ever!
Best Pillows Ever! (note exclamation point)
(The exclamation point did not even have its own typewriter key until the 1970s. Now it is everywhere!)
Best Sex Ever!
This is it?
This is what I am paying for?
Does anyone even watch these things? (Depressing enough that these are the offerings. Even more depressing to think that there are people who are tuning in to "Best Vacuum Ever."
Is this an ongoing series?
Are there judges?
"Hoover... you're out!"
Is it an elimination show?
Do you have to go through a series of eliminations with increasingly harder to vacuum up things? (Is that even English?)
Do you vote from home?
The weird thing is that this comes at the same time as Time Warner has decided to drop Ovation, the cultural Channel.
Other channels Time Warner Cable identified as being under review include Encore, Music Choice, News 12, NHL Network, ShopNBC, Smithsonian HD, and Style Network.
Ovation, of course, is (or was) a culture and arts channel.
Apparently there is not much appetite in this country for arts, music, culture, opera, symphony, great movies or documentaries.
There is, however, a big appetite for pillows, vacuum cleaners and zumba.
Not to mention how to get a Brazilian Butt Lift, (which is probably a spin-off of Best Sex Ever! (exclamation point).
Follow Michael Rosenblum on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Rosenblumtv