11/10/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Dear Republicans: Liberal Is America. Deal with It.

Dear Republicans,

We've allowed you to use the word liberal as an insult for way too long. We've decided to take that word back. Liberals founded this country, designed it, built it, and saved it. We can no longer allow you to encourage the hypocritical, hate-mongering, war-loving, color-hating, bottom-feeding, gun-fetishizing, intellect-detesting, hold-us-back, right-wing fascist, pseudo-Americans to take over your party and hold our country hostage.

You talk about how the terrorists "hate us for our freedom," yet every time you encourage these people to spit hate and fear from their frothing mouths, you only prove that you're the ones who hate us for our freedom. When you allow them free reign over your party, you only provide the world with a real reason to hate us. You've spent eight years shutting down, shutting out, and shutting up every single thing that makes this country great and, frankly, we've had enough.

You talk about the party of Lincoln, yet your candidates now seethe the kind of filth that caused the very divided nation that Lincoln saved. You call our leaders "liberals" as an insult, though liberalism happens to be at the heart of the very Constitution you claim to defend.

By definition, liberals are more "American" than any of the thugs you're giving voice to at your rallies. Where do you think the root of the word "liberal" comes from? Lib-er-ty. Liberals believe in individual liberties. And what does liberty mean? Freedom. So, exactly which freedoms are you so worried we're taking from you?

Freedom of speech? The hate coming from your campaign? Protected by liberals.

Freedom of the press? You love your Fox News? Sean Hannity? Bill O'Reilly? You'll be shocked to know that even if that terrorist Obama became President, those disgraceful thugs stay on the air. I might not like it, but that's liberalism for ya.

Freedom of religion? Liberal.

Freedom to assemble? Liberal.

Freedom to own a gun? You guessed it. Liberal.

Private property? Liberal.

Free Markets? Yup, liberal.

Ironically, it's LIBERAL VALUES that allow you to gather your hate rallies under the auspices of democracy. It's LIBERAL VALUES that allow you to vote for Senator Magoo and Governor Wile-E-Coyote. It's LIBERAL VALUES that tolerate that putrid venom that the worst of you are spewing, as your leaders smile smugly in the hope that some unbridled rage could save their empty campaign. It's even LIBERAL VALUES that allow you to question other Americans patriotism and even our very humanity, as you insult your country and all it stands for.

Well, we have news for you. You can stomp your feet, spit your poison, cry, lie, sigh or die, but it won't change the fact that eight years ago a robbery occurred and a country was stolen from its rightful owners. But now there's a new sheriff in town. And he's taking it back.

The Liberals