THE BLOG
10/23/2007 12:31 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Halle Berry Said "JEWISH!" Is She out of her Half-Black Mind?!

"If you watch the clip, you can see Halle saying the word Jewish....[she] should be ashamed of herself!"

I'm not sure who is a bigger douche, the Leno audience member who said that, or Richard Johnson, who quoted her on Page Six, under the headline, "Berry Nose Better Than That." Are we really such a nation of pussies now? Someone says the word Jewish and we call 9-1-1? Excuse me, but my tribe has been run down by every small-dick thug since cro-magnon had his first bar mitvah. Halle Berry didn't urinate on a Torah. She made a joke and it was funny (and in this business, you don't cut funny).

If you didn't see it, she was showing distorted images from her computer camera and one made her look like she had a big nose, so she said "This one makes me look like my Jewish cousin." See? It's kinda funny. At the very least, it's cute. Laugh a little, folks. Lotsa jews have big noses, as do Italians, Arabs, Armenians, and a whole buncha other people. And big noses can be beautiful and they can also be funny (Jimmy Durante's nickname was Schnozzola). And Halle Berry, with her perfectly gorgeous nose, is funny with a big nose. Her Jewish assistant who first made the joke thought so. And on behalf of the rest of the thick-skinned Jews out there, I think so too.

You know, I was talking about this with my black friend today. Wait...can I say black? Sorry, my African-American friend. Actually, he's not African. Okay, my Jamaican-American friend. Does that make him African-Jamaican-American? Are Jamaicans from Africa? He's Catholic, too. Come to think of it, he kind of has a big nose. In fact, if he were white he might even look Jewish. Did you know Ethiopia has a lot of Jews? They have small noses. You've seen them before, the small-nose-African-American-Jewish-types? They don't look anything like my Jewish cousins. In fact, they probably look more like Halle's gentile-black-African-American-gorgeous-movie-star-cousins. Wait...can I say movie star?