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Hey, TB Guy, the Rest of the Humans Would Like You to go F*ck Yourself

05/31/2007 06:46 pm ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

Andrew Speaker. Personal injury attorney. World traveler. Typhoid Mary. Complete and utter douche.

Every time I think about this guy getting on a plane carrying the most deadly form of tuberculosis known to man I only get angrier. Let me say that again: THE MOST DEADLY FORM OF TUBERCULOSIS KNOWN TO MAN. Piss you off yet?

Society is an honor system. The whole thing is held together by trust and without that trust it all goes to shit in the blink of an eye. We trust our pilots to get a good night's sleep, our policemen to think before shooting, our teachers not to touch our kids, and our neighbors not to vote for a guy who would start a war under false pretenses. And we trust that when somebody is told not to fly with tuberculosis that he actually won't. Andrew Speaker says that he was told that the doctors "preferred he stay put" as opposed to a definitive demand to not mingle with the other humans. The doctors differ with his account, but does it even matter? Even if their demand was merely a strong recommendation does that absolve him of his own appalling judgment to party in Greece at the expense of the lives of those sitting next to him on the plane? Hey buddy, you're carrying a deadly disease that could easily kill the person next to you if they contract it. We prefer you not go out in public. Hmmm. Fuck it, I'm gettin' married, baby!! Let's par-tay! Is that the way it works, Andy? You admit you got a call in Italy from the CDC begging you to turn yourself over to authorities and you say your reaction was that "they're nuts," and promptly got on another plane. How is your new wife ever going to trust you with her children?

They say he didn't commit a crime. I wonder if there were any children on the plane. Or at the airport. Or the wedding. Or at the hotels he stayed at. If you drive drunk with a kid in the backseat you get charged with child endangerment, among other things. But if you knowingly get in a giant tin can with recirculated air while carrying a deadly airborne respiratory disease you just get charged with being an asshole? I thought the reason we have laws is because that whole trust thing doesn't work with the assholes.