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"Good actors, never use the script unless it's amazing writing. All the good actors I've worked with, they all say whatever they want to say." - Jessica Alba, Elle Magazine, Dec. 2010

Oh Jessica. You geniuses are so, um, genius. The way you just say whatever you want to say!

We were thinking since this year's Oscar hopefuls are just now hitting theaters and you don't have one of your opuses coming out, we would start a campaign to give you a special achievement award for being so awesome.

To prove how awesome you are, we're going to juxtapose some of your spontaneous, brilliant, off-the-cuff musings with some quotes from some of those scripts throughout film history that we've all had to endure -- the ones with all that, blech, writing in them. This way the Academy could see what a savant you really are when you're just "saying whatever you want to say."

You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow." -- Jules Furthman and WIlliam Faulkner, To Have or To Have Not


"I like circuit training." -- Jessica Alba, In Touch Magazine

"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!" -- Betty Comden and Adolph Green, Auntie Mame


"Yum yum in my tum tum." -- Jessica Alba, Twitter

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." -- Francis Ford Coppola and Mario Puzo, Godfather II


"Be neutral. Be Sweden about it." -- Jessica Alba, TMZ

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning." -- John Milius and Francis Ford Coppola, Apocalypse Now


"Mmmm Bellini's." -- Jessica Alba, Twitter

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." -- Jules Epstein, Philip Epstein and Howard Koch, Casablanca


"Loving the energy here at Soho Ralph Lauren." -- Jessica Alba, Twitter

"As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again." -- Victor Fleming, Gone With The WInd


"Oh France... Oh ice cream oh... Chocolate..." -- Jessica Alba, Twitter

"Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary." -- Tom Schulman, Dead Poets Society


"I like dogs." -- Jessica Alba, MySpace

"You complete me." -- Cameron Crowe, Jerry Maguire


"If I found someone messing with Cash, I would cut them. That's the ghetto side of me." -- Jessica Alba, The Observer

"Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next." -- David Franzoni, John Logan and William Nicholson, Gladiator


"Mexicans just spread all their seeds. And the women just pop them out." -- Jessica Alba, Homunculus.com

"I see dead people." -- M. Night Shyamalan, The Sixth Sense


"My breasts are saggy, I have cellulite." -- Jessica Alba, GQ

"Mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates." -- Eric Roth, Forrest Gump


"I wish I could turn my brain off every once in a while." -- Jessica Alba, Siempre Mujer Magazine

"I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" -- Paddy Chayefsky, Network


"It's not always so great to be objectified. But I don't feel I have much of a choice right now." -- Jessica Alba, The Observer

"And one day, not long from now, my looks will go. They will discover I can't act, and I will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while." -- Richard Curtis, Notting Hill


"I was born with a wicked sense of entitlement." -- Jessica Alba, The Observer

 
 
 

Follow Michael Seitzman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/michaelseitzman