Republicans Debate Their Future, Democrats Say Kiss Our Black Ass

Have you heard? The republicans are in a period of "soul searching." And by "soul searching" they really mean, "Who do I have to kill to be in charge here?" The answer, of course, appears to be everyone's favorite Special Needs Governor, Sarah Effing Palin.

Catch the body language when Governor Snowflake took the podium to answer some questions at the Republican Governors Conference? Texas Governor Rick Perry, looking like the abusive husband in a woman-on-the-run movie, actually elbowed Palin out of his way as he grabbed a hold of the microphone. The message was unmistakable -- she doesn't speak for us and she never will.

I couldn't help but think of that expression, often credited to Charlie Sheen, "You don't pay them to sleep with you, you pay them to leave." Obviously the reference is to prostitutes but it seems somewhat apt here. Watch any of these interviews with the various Republican pretenders to the throne and there is a text and a subtext in what they're saying. The text is some version of, "Sarah Palin's future will be decided by the voters." The subtext is, "Sarah, your money is on the dresser. You can find your way out."

And please, as you're gearing up to send me accusations of sexism, I'm not saying she's a hooker. What I am saying is that she was hired with only one qualification which made her relevant for the first fifteen minutes and has had us checking our watches every minute since.

Did you happen to see President Obama (I'm done saying "President-Elect) on 60 Minutes last night? If you did you probably found yourself cheering at his use of an actual subject and a predicate in each sentence. You probably noted these two "elitists" from Chicago remembering their first date in his car with the hole in the floor. How about a president who talks truthfully about the challenges we face? Or how about when he was asked what he's currently reading and he talked about the writings of Lincoln and FDR. Remember when Baby-Huey Bush was asked that question? He was reading biographies of baseball players and proudly told us he didn't need to read a newspaper.

So, to get back to who will lead the Republican Party in 2012? Who cares. You know what they say, once you go black...

Comments

[tavote08]

I read this three times and haven't stop laughing yet, and the comments are off the chain LOL...

[JWLANDSCAPES]

Personally, I find Palin fascinating and I truly believe she may be a future contender. No, she doesn't speak the language of the usual Washington Politician, but I do believe she is a remarkably quick study.

She's the new kid, she drew crowds comparable to Obama, and all those jerks are just jealous. I know I'm a dissenting voice, but I believe Palin was the best choice McCain could have made. She was a new fresh face with none of the Bush associations that all the other Republican contenders had, and Leibermann just couldn't be an option.

[Checquoline]

Choice for what????President of the United States?? It's the presidency for God's sake. Not a popularity contest. This woman is incapable of reading the oath of office. Her family is a mess and she is a shop a holic. Now apparently we see she drinks. Surely in the whole contry there is someone remotely better qualified. There are a lot of people here and some of them have brains and common sense. Let the repubs find one of those.

[Russycle]

I know a handful of Alaskans, and most of them are better qualified to be governor than Palin. Can't fathom how this person got elected, I guess knowing how to give a speech off a teleprompter goes a long way these days.

[JWLANDSCAPES]

Look Democrats had it pretty good after FDR and truly ruled with massive majorities in the house. Then suddenly, it was the Republicans who took over the White House, Senate and House, and now it's back to Democratic control. To think we Democrats have finally succeeded in creating a one party America...­.doesn't sound Democratic at all. Frankly, the exist polls, state races etc still demonstrate very clearly that this is still a barely left of center, barely right of center country caught in a tug of war between the power/money/elites inhabiting the more extreme of both parties.

Only 1% more people turned out and voted this year than in 2004, and 6 million Republicans who voted in 2004 decided to sit this one out, for a variety of contributing reasons. Obama won by 7 million or so, so to think we've experienced a seismic shift to the left, would be be unfounded. In fact Ohio saw fewer votes than in 2004.

2008 was a referendum on Bush/Cheney and the Republican­s....The DNC did a great job of say McCain-BUSH for over a year that it just stuck, and nothing McCain could do could dispel this.

[cdnbcn]

you present a compelling argument

but it don't take a weather man to look out and see the weather

and I've got a big window.

[bish66]

Interesting thoughts. Especially, if you take into account how much money Obama and the GOP invested, how much nw voters were registered, how many people voted early (and sometimes often).

Lots of effort, little result. If the GOP manages to find a popular candidate who motivates the stay-at-ho­me-voters, things don't look that bleak for the GOP. And you can count on armies of disgruntled, disillusioned and sobered Dems even as early as 2010. Change was never defined, so if you Democrats compare your dreams of change and what Obama will be able to deliver, chances are high that lots of people will be disappointed. I can imagine a real bloodbath in 2010, when some 40 state houses are up for Election/R­eelection. Dems have lots ot lose in 2010, House, Senate, Governors. Next year's elections in New Jersey and Virginia will be a good test.

BTW, just had an oral exam on the American Civil War. Remember, back then, Republicans were the party of choice for black voters, so nothing is carved in stone. Another BTW, I recommend to read up what happened back then, Lincoln's position on slavery and civil rights for blacks, the letters of his Proclamation of Emancipation, the status of blacks in the Union. We tend to idealize the past. but don't trust me, read it up yourself.

[BLinCincinnati]

"6 million Republicans who voted in 2004 decided to sit this one out, for a variety of contributing reasons."

Show me proof that those 6 million Republicans didn't vote. Just because there were 6 million fewer people that identified themselves as Republican at the polls doesn't mean that the rest just stayed home. Some of the increased Democratic turn out WERE Republicans in 2004. So yes... there was a shift to the left no matter how much you want to deny it.

In fact, I can give you proof that some Republicans changed to be Democrats since 2004. I'm one of them. So are my mother, father, brother, brother-in-law, and three of my friends.

All registered Republican in 2004. All voted for Bush. All registered Democratic now and voted for Obama. All of us in Ohio.


And as for your "Ohio saw fewer votes than 2004". Well yeah, when you have the GOP running the election here, with rigged voting machines, and hosting the vote counting software on the state GOP party's server... of course there were more votes in 2004. Why do you think Bush won?

[violettefemme]

I say, once you go Barack, you never go back!

[bluetick27]

I saw a great unification bumper sticker the other day that said ...
We'll hug your Elephant, if you'll kiss our Ass!

[Gaia Terra7]

Priceless!

[jnetdnj]

HA! Love it.

[08politicaljunkie]

[laughing]

I like that.

[bish66]

That sticker only shows that there is no chance for bridging the gap. A peaceoffering does not include insult for the defeated.

[Gaia Terra7]

Before I even read your article, I just had to say I LOVE the title!

[RobinLandseadel]

"Have you heard? The republicans are in a period of "soul searching.­" "

They think it might have slipped under the bench seat of their Chrysler Imperial and they're checking the floor with a with a magnifying glass.

"You know what they say, once you go black..."

Do Tell!

[tomjones44]

you don't go back

[jdmba]

I didn't think this would make me laugh, but it sure did. Thank you for that!!

[FACINGREALIT]

This was excellently written. I can't stop laughing out loud for your analogies regarding the republicans dilemma were perfect. Sarah, your money is on the dresser and once you go black - ENOUGH SAID!

Now I know why I like to be alerted when you remit an article for reading. I am definitely a fan. Keep up the good work Michael.

[prog]

I've been telling them to kiss our collective black *ss since the election, and I'm white.

cheers.

[sepiasiren]

love yah bro!

[yasmeen]

brutally brilliant article.
let's not forget though that the longer sara is on the scene the more republicans implode and also comedians get their material keeping them off obama's back. they gotta eat ya know. though just by comparing bush and obama statements they could launch a lucrative industry (letterman/stewart) let's hope she is around in 2012 and ends up on the ticket. tina fey and joe the plumber will finish her off.

[QuietLightTraveler]

Very funny. I enjoyed your piece. Thr republicans don't have a future if they make their present conservative principles the center of their platform. The world has changed. We all know the environment is an important issue. Pro choice is necessary as a practical way to control population growth. The private sector must be regulated because of fundamental weaknesses of human nature -greed and unethical behavior. Modern governments require a separation of church and state. The conservative ideology is intellectually bankrupt. The majority of people are starting to see the light.End of story.

[queotic]

Hilarious!

[davism97]

A president who's actually preparing for the job by reading about past presidents?! Get this elitist thinker out of office we need Yo Sammity Sam back! On second thought maybe we should actually try the elitist route since being the president of the free world is a ...you know ... hard job.

[Shieldmaiden]

The title made me LMAO!